This Band 5.5 IELTS opinion essay addresses the impact of blockbuster films on the industry. While the writer supports the idea of advanced technology, coherence issues and limited vocabulary hinder the overall clarity and depth of the argument. Explore the feedback to improve your writing!
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Film Industry · 40 min
In recent years, many blockbuster films have been produced with enormous budgets and advanced technology, often overshadowing smaller independent films.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count (272 words) and clearly states a positive stance on the dominance of blockbuster films. It provides some relevant reasons and examples from the Nigerian film industry. However, the argument remains simplistic and lacks exploration of the other side or deeper analysis. There are issues with coherence (repetition, limited linking), limited vocabulary range, and noticeable grammatical errors. Overall, the essay demonstrates adequate but not strong control of the criteria, placing it at a Band 5.5.
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Recently, a lot of blockbuster movies have been produced with huge budgets and advanced technology, taking the lead over smaller independent films. In my opinion, this is a positive development. Many entertainment industries now use technology to create good cinematography effects and make realistic movies. This gives audience access to great views. Also, blockbuster films producer now spend more money on their production resulting to delivering quality movies.
Reality is dynamic, not static. I believe as technology evolves, everyone should learn to meet up with that standard. All over the world, most entertainment industries that understand this concept, now use technology to improve the quality of the films they produce. For example, digital tools are now being used to make characters more realistic. In a movie I watched last year titled "Behind the Scenes" by Funke Akindele, a replica of a character was built to make us believe she is dead. It created a suspense which made the movie more fascinating to watch.
Nowadays, quality is essential. In Nigeria, thespians now invest enormous money to create standard films. They make enough profit from their production because standard movie rather than a low-budget movie" title="Correction: people prefer spending money to watch a standard movie rather than a low-budget movie">people prefer spending money to watch standard movie to low-budget movies even though it costs more. Producers like Toyin Abraham, Femi Adebayo, Lateef Adedimeji have made over a billion from their movies. This is not random, it is an evidence that putting enough capital in film production results into making more money.
In conclusion, smaller independent movies should learn from the bigger ones. Producing blockbuster movies with huge budgets and advanced technology has generated more money for thespians and also resulted in making more realistic movies.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| This gives audience access to great views. | This gives the audience access to great views. | Missing article 'the' before 'audience'. |
| blockbuster films producer now spend more money | producers of blockbuster films now spend more money | Subject-verb agreement and noun phrase: 'producer' should be plural 'producers' to match the plural 'films' and verb 'spend'. |
| resulting to delivering quality movies | resulting in delivering quality movies | Wrong preposition: 'result in' is the correct collocation, not 'result to'. |
| most entertainment industries that understand this concept, now use technology | most entertainment industries that understand this concept now use technology | Unnecessary comma after 'concept' in a restrictive relative clause. |
| a suspense which made the movie more fascinating | suspense which made the movie more fascinating | Article misuse: 'suspense' is uncountable and should not have 'a'. |
| people prefer spending money to watch standard movie to low-budget movies | people prefer spending money to watch a standard movie rather than a low-budget movie | Missing article before 'standard movie' and incorrect comparison structure; 'rather than' is clearer. |
| it is an evidence that putting enough capital | it is evidence that putting enough capital | Article misuse: 'evidence' is uncountable and does not take 'an'. |
| results into making more money | results in making more money | Wrong preposition: 'result in' is the correct collocation, not 'result into'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| meet up with that standard | meet that standard | Informal phrasal verb; 'meet' alone is more appropriate for achieving a standard. |
| great views | impressive visuals | Vague language; 'impressive visuals' is more precise and academic. |
| enormous money | enormous amounts of money | Incorrect collocation; 'money' is uncountable, so use 'enormous amounts of money' or 'substantial funds'. |
| This is not random | This is not a coincidence | Informal usage; 'random' is vague, 'coincidence' is more precise in this context. |
| standard movie | high-quality film | Vague adjective; 'high-quality' is more specific and appropriate for the context. |
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Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay addresses the prompt by taking a clear position (positive development) and offers a few supporting points, such as technological improvements and financial success of big-budget films. However, the argument is underdeveloped, relying heavily on a single country's examples without addressing the global context or potential downsides. The response is on-topic but lacks depth and balance.
Examples
The second paragraph discusses using digital tools to create realistic characters, and the third paragraph cites Nigerian producers who earned over a billion from their movies
How to Improve
To improve, expand the argument by acknowledging both positive and negative aspects, and provide a more balanced discussion. Include broader examples beyond one country and develop each point with more detailed reasoning or data.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is weak due to limited use of linking words and occasional repetition of ideas. For instance, the transition from the second to the third paragraph is abrupt, and some sentences feel disconnected from the main argument.
Examples
The phrase 'Reality is dynamic, not static' is not clearly connected to the topic. Also, 'Nowadays, quality is essential' is a new idea introduced without a linking device
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'as a result') to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the progression of ideas is logical.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is adequate but limited and sometimes imprecise. Words like 'good cinematography effects' and 'fascinating' are basic. There are attempts at formal terms like 'thespians', but other phrases ('resulting to') are incorrect. The range is insufficient for a higher score.
Examples
'producer now spend more money on their production resulting to delivering quality movies' – 'resulting to' is incorrect; should be 'resulting in'. Also 'this is not random' is vague
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms for common words (e.g., 'beneficial', 'significant', 'profitable') and practicing collocations. Avoid using the same terms repeatedly (e.g., 'technology' used several times). Proofread to eliminate errors in word choice and form.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
The essay uses mostly simple and compound sentences with some attempts at complex structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('producer now spend'), incorrect prepositions ('resulting to'), and missing articles ('in a movie I watched...'). These errors reduce clarity and accuracy.
Examples
'producer now spend more money' should be 'producers now spend more money'; 'made over a billion from their movies' – missing 'naira' or currency; 'a replica of a character was built to make us believe she is dead' – clearer phrasing needed
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and article usage. Practice writing more complex sentences with subordinate clauses. After writing, check each sentence for correct verb forms and punctuation.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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