This band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the relocation of businesses from urban to rural areas. While it addresses both agreement and disagreement, the response shows coherence issues and lacks depth in argument development. Students can learn from the feedback to enhance their essay structure and grammar.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay addresses the topic and provides arguments for both agreement and disagreement with the statement. However, the response lacks depth in argument development, has issues with coherence and cohesion, and contains frequent grammatical errors. Improvements in structure, vocabulary, and grammar are needed to achieve a higher band score.
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It is believed that large business and industries along with their employees from cities to rural areas could solve the issues of traffic congestion and housing in famous cities. This essay will discuss the both views on agreement and disagreement. Overall, the urban areas are currently facing traffic jams, housings, pollution etc. due to increasing population in search of job and business purposes.
To agree with the statement, transferring the people from cities to country side help in reducing the problems created by huge number vehicles and the population. Big business and industries are installed where the flow of population is higher. People use private vehicles to go for work which increases traffic problems and large number of individuals create chaos to find shelters leading unamanaged urbanization. For instance, Kathmandu city is facing these problems since few decades which creates tension among the public and government to tackle the problems.
On the other hand, shifting business and industries to other location could create huge problem. It puts stress on economy and citizens face problem to cope with new arrangement as they are used to with previous work place. Peole have to leave their home and family for the job. Also the main point to be noticed is they cannot catch the way of rural living culture which might bring physical and mental challenges for them. For example, people in urban areas might have settled there and they are familiar with the surrounding they live which they would find it stressful to start again in place.
In the conclusion, replacing industries and business is a good idea to solve the traffic and housing issues in city areas is a good idea to some extent.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| unamanaged | unmanaged |
| Peole | People |
Grammatical Mistakes
5 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the both views | both views | Unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'both' |
| helps in reducing | helps reduce | Infinitive 'to' is often dropped after 'help' in more concise constructions |
| leading unamanaged urbanization | leading to unmanaged urbanization | Preposition 'to' needed to indicate result |
| huge problem | huge problems | Plurality agreement needed for consistency with 'huge' |
| find it stressful to start again in place | find it stressful to start again in a new place | Omission of article 'a' needed before 'new place' |
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| rural living culture | rural lifestyle | More precise term 'lifestyle' fits better than vague 'living culture' |
| currently facing | currently experiencing | 'Experiencing' is more precise than 'facing' for describing ongoing conditions |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task and provides arguments for both agreement and disagreement. However, the ideas are not fully developed, and the conclusion is weak and repetitive. The response does not explore the topic in sufficient depth.
Examples
For instance, the essay mentions traffic congestion and housing issues but does not provide detailed examples or explore alternative solutions.
How to Improve
Develop ideas more thoroughly by providing specific examples and explanations. Ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the ideas are not well-organized, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak.
Examples
Phrases like 'to agree with the statement' and 'on the other hand' are used, but they do not effectively connect ideas. The conclusion repeats points rather than synthesizing them.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and ensure logical progression. Avoid repetition and focus on summarizing key points in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition and occasional inaccuracies. Some word choices are inappropriate or awkward.
Examples
Phrases like 'huge number vehicles,' 'unamanaged urbanization,' and 'catch the way of rural living culture' demonstrate limited lexical range and incorrect usage.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and context-appropriate words. Practice using more precise and varied language to express ideas clearly.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect word forms, and sentence structure problems. These errors reduce clarity and impact.
Examples
Errors include 'help in reducing the problems created by huge number vehicles,' 'Peole have to leave their home,' and 'they would find it stressful to start again in place.'
How to Improve
Focus on improving grammar by practicing sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word forms. Proofread your work to identify and correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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