Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Dangerous Sports: Clarity Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

It is often argued that extreme sports should be banned due to the potential for serious injuries. Although dangerous sports are harmful sometimes ,I partially agree that such sports should not be banned totally as they can be played harness and monitoring" title="Correction: with a harness and monitoring">with harness and monitoring because they help people to overcome fear, develop more confidence and become financially stable.
On the one hand, many people argue that sports are a form of entertainment played for physical activities not injuries.There are numbers of sports which are safer and more entertaning, whereas adventurous sports have greater chance of accident resulting serioius injuries and disabilty. For instance, in 2010, a sky diver in Pokhara felt a major accident while playing. In the accident he lost his legs after falling from a height of 2000 feets.Such accidents are occuring regularly in such sports, and people have been protesting to stop such games where the life is in risk.
On the other hand, some people also believe that exciting games like racing, sky diving, and wrestling encourage people to face new challenges and motivated the audience to great extent. Nowadays, diffrent equipements harness and safety helmets" title="Correction: such as harness and safety helmets">such as harness, and safety helmets are used to reduce the accidents. As per bussiness perspective, dangerous sports have greater oppurtunity to increase income. For example, Formula 1 race is the most viewed sports, where a rider got massive amount competing in a single match.
In conclusion, games have fewer injuries" title="Correction: while safer games have fewer injuries">while playing safer games have less injuries,but dangerous sports have greater oppurtunities. Both games should be played in safer and easier way.

     Sports play a significant role in many people's lives, offering recreation and excitement. However, a significant number of participants inevitably experience injuries ranging from minor discomfort to severe and debilitating pain. Despite the general acceptance of this risk, the question of whether certain highly dangerous sports should be banned warrants careful consideration. I am among those who believe that the risks associated with certain sports necessitate their prohibition. This essay will explore some of the arguments for banning certain sports.

        The argument can be made that some sports are fundamentally a form of violence, a point illustrated by the brutality evident in boxing, and this raises concerns about the necessity of broadcasting further violence on our television screens. Some people say that the players can choose to join; however, this is not always true. Many boxers, for example, come from poor backgrounds, they are tempted by money or by social pressure. Even in richer social groups, schools make unwilling students play aggressive team sports, claiming that playing will improve the students’ character, but in fact increasing the chance of injury.

       Even with personal choice, paternalistic protection is sometimes needed, like government actions against public health risks such as smoking. Consequently, drawing a parallel, it is logical to assert that governments also bear a responsibility to intervene when certain sporting activities result in an excessive burden of injuries, as their fundamental duty lies in safeguarding the health and well-being of their citizens.

        In conclusion, I agree that all sports involve challenge and risk; however, violence and aggression should not be allowed in the name of sport. Governments and individuals must act together to limit cruelty and violence.