This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the impact of media on relationships. While it addresses both sides, clarity is hindered by grammatical errors and basic vocabulary choices. Discover how to improve your writing by focusing on these key feedback points.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Media Β· 40 min
Media has ruined contact between relatives and close companions. Do you agree or disagree with this view? Use detailed reasoning and instances to support your opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 270 words and addresses the topic with a partial agreement, discussing both sides. However, the argument is not fully developed, with some irrelevant points (e.g., other factors affecting relationships), and it lacks detailed examples. Grammatical errors and limited vocabulary reduce clarity and impact. Overall, it is a moderate response.
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It is indisputable that use of media is increase day by day in this modern era. Some people argue that media has breaks the relationship between relatives and close friends whereas some are sceptical believing that media has strengthens the their bonding despite their hectic schedule.In the following pragraph, I intend to analyse both perspectives" title="Correction: I intend to analyse both perspectives">i indend to analyse both perspective. However, I partly agree with the view. I belive that along with some demerits media is usefull in in every sphere of life.
One of the demerits of media is that it reduce face to face interaction. People are prefering to contact in online instead of physical present. Now a days, it is become common in families that they sit together but all are busy in their electronic gatgets their relationship weak" title="Correction: which makes their relationship weak">which making their relationship weak.
Despite these perceived disadvantages, there are many advantages of media. It strengthen relationships when used wisely. Modern technology like video call, Chat, audio call allowed people to stay connected regardless of any distance their bonding" title="Correction: which increases their bonding">which increase their bonding. For instance people who live abroad their family" title="Correction: can contact their family">can contact with their family and friends anytime by means of media which was not easy in past.
Apart from media their are others factors that can also impact relationship. Work pressure, academic stress, surroundings and good understanding may also be the reasons for ruining relationship.
In conclusion, excessive use of anything is harmfull. Media is not solely the reason for ruining contact. Limiting the usage of media can bring the harmony in life. For balancing in life people should set boundaries when to use how to use that how they can maintain relationship with their loved ones.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
8 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| pragraph | paragraph |
| i | I |
| indend | intend |
| belive | believe |
| usefull | useful |
| gatgets | gadgets |
| harmfull | harmful |
| their | there |
Grammatical Mistakes
17 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| use of media is increase | the use of media is increasing | Incorrect verb form; after 'is', use present participle or adjective. |
| media has breaks the relationship | media has broken the relationship | After 'has', use past participle; 'breaks' is present tense. |
| media has strengthens the their bonding | media has strengthened their bonding | 'has' requires past participle, and 'the their' is redundant. |
| i indend to analyse both perspective | I intend to analyse both perspectives | Subject 'I' should be capitalized, and 'perspective' should be plural for 'both'. |
| it reduce face to face interaction | it reduces face-to-face interaction | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' requires third-person singular 'reduces'. |
| People are prefering to contact in online instead of physical present | People prefer to contact online instead of being physically present | 'are preferring' is not standard; use simple present 'prefer'. 'Physical present' is incorrect; use 'physically present'. |
| Now a days, it is become common | Nowadays, it has become common | 'Now a days' should be 'Nowadays', and 'is become' is incorrect; use present perfect 'has become'. |
| which making their relationship weak | which makes their relationship weak | 'which' should be followed by a verb; 'making' is a gerund, but here 'makes' is correct for relative clause. |
| It strengthen relationships | It strengthens relationships | Subject-verb agreement: 'It' requires 'strengthens'. |
| video call, Chat, audio call allowed people | video calls, chats, and audio calls allow people | Nouns should be plural for general reference, and verb 'allow' should agree with plural subject. |
| which increase their bonding | which increases their bonding | Subject-verb agreement: 'which' refers to singular subject, so 'increases'. |
| can contact with their family | can contact their family | 'contact' is a transitive verb; no preposition 'with' is needed. |
| in past | in the past | Missing definite article 'the' before 'past'. |
| their are others factors | there are other factors | 'their' is possessive; should be 'there' for existence. 'Others' should be 'other' before a noun. |
| impact relationship | impact relationships | 'relationship' should be plural to match context. |
| reasons for ruining relationship | reasons for ruining relationships | Plural form needed for general statement. |
| bring the harmony in life | bring harmony to life | 'the' is unnecessary with abstract 'harmony', and 'in life' should be 'to life' for correct collocation. |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| breaks the relationship | damages the relationship | 'breaks' is informal and may not collocate well; 'damages' or 'weakens' is more appropriate. |
| physical present | physical presence | 'present' is an adjective or verb; here, noun 'presence' is needed. |
| electronic gatgets | electronic devices | 'gadgets' is informal; 'devices' is more formal and academic. |
| Chat | chat | Capitalization is incorrect; should be lowercase unless starting a sentence. |
| contact with | contact | Redundant preposition; 'contact' is transitive. |
| ruining relationship | damaging relationships | 'ruining' is too strong and informal; 'damaging' is more measured. |
| bring the harmony | bring harmony | Unnecessary article; 'harmony' is an abstract noun that typically doesn't take 'the' in this context. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The writer presents a clear position (partly agree) and attempts to discuss both perspectives, but the development is limited. Examples are provided but lack specificity and depth. The inclusion of other factors (work pressure, etc.) dilutes the focus on media.
Examples
Mentions that media reduces face-to-face interaction but also strengthens relationships via video calls for long-distance communication. However, these points are not elaborated with concrete instances or reasoning.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, describe specific scenarios where media has harmed or helped relationships. Ensure all paragraphs directly relate to the prompt, avoiding tangential points.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Logical progression is attempted, but coherence is affected by grammatical errors and abrupt transitions between ideas. Cohesive devices are used but somewhat mechanically.
Examples
Uses linking words like 'However,' 'Despite,' 'For instance,' and 'In conclusion.' However, paragraph transitions (e.g., 'Apart from media...') are not smooth, and some sentences are choppy.
How to Improve
Improve paragraph linking by using more advanced transition phrases (e.g., 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore'). Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically within and between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with several spelling errors and inappropriate word choices. Some topic-related terms are used, but range is limited, affecting precision and style.
Examples
Misspellings: 'pragraph' for 'paragraph,' 'belive' for 'believe,' 'usefull' for 'useful,' 'gatgets' for 'gadgets.' Inaccurate phrases: 'breaks the relationship' instead of 'harms relationships,' 'strengthens the their bonding.'
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to technology and social interactions. Practice correct spelling and word forms. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find more precise terms (e.g., 'diminishes' instead of 'reduces'). Avoid repetition by using synonyms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Frequent grammatical errors occur throughout, including issues with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence structure. Sentence complexity is limited, and errors often hinder understanding.
Examples
Incorrect verb forms: 'media has breaks' (should be 'has broken'), 'it reduce' (should be 'reduces'), 'people are prefering' (should be 'prefer'). Article errors: 'the their bonding.' Run-on sentences: 'For balancing in life people should set boundaries...' is poorly constructed.
How to Improve
Focus on mastering verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Practice constructing complex sentences with correct punctuation. Proofread essays to identify and correct common errors. Consider using grammar exercises or tools to improve accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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