Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Moving Businesses: Cohesion and Support Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published Jun 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ 271 words Β· Band 5.5
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Achieving a Band 5.5 on the IELTS Writing Task 2, this opinion essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas. However, it falls short in providing cohesive arguments and detailed support, which hampers clarity and depth.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min


Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write at least 250 words.
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5.5 Band

Overall Band Score

271 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· AI Evaluated

5.5
Task Response
5.5
Coherence
5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5

Summary: Hello User. While the essay addresses the prompt regarding moving businesses to rural areas, it lacks depth and detailed support in its arguments. The overall line of reasoning is somewhat clear, but the organization is weak, with ideas expressed without substantial cohesion. The lexical resource is limited, and grammatical mistakes are frequent enough to cause strain at times.

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Student Answer
Real submission β€’ 271 words β€’ Annotated
271 words Band 5.5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

I do agree that moving big businesses and industries and their employees to rural areas from urban areas would be a great solution to traffic congestion and housing prolems in the major cities. In this essay i will describe I agree" title="Correction: why I agree">why I agree with this opinion" title="Correction: I agree" title="Correction: why I agree">why I agree with this opinion">why agree with this opinion and not the latar.

in overall, rural area sare good for big production businesses and industries because they do not disturb locals. It is also great because there is no traffic congestion and the hosing market is not very hard and competitive.

Firstly, when the businesses, industries and thier employees move to the rural areas it will help the reduce traffic congestion the workers meet either when going to work, going out for errands or going back to their homes after knocking off from work

In addition, I agree" title="Correction: why I agree">why i agree with this move is that it allows workers to find very affordable and good houses to stay with their families compared to the houses that are found in the city. the major cities being highly populated areas, makes then have overpriced houses and when you find a house in a resonable price range you may find that it is ridiculously small and it can not fit all family memebers.

in conclusioI, moving from the urban area to the rural area can also help improve work space environment and efficiency, while doing bussiness in town there were many restrictions such as noise and air pollution rules so moving to the rural areas allows the business to it upmost abiities because they do not nrcrssarily have to run along the lines of consideration of homesteds next businesses and industries.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

12 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
prolems problems
i I
latar latter
sare are
thier their
resonable reasonable
memebers members
conclusioI conclusion
bussiness business
abiities abilities
nrcrssarily necessarily
homesteds homesteads

Grammatical Mistakes

7 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
why agree with this opinion why I agree with this opinion Missing subject 'I' in the clause
in overall overall Incorrect prepositional phrase; 'overall' is an adverb and doesn't need 'in'
help the reduce traffic help to reduce traffic Extra article 'the'; incorrect infinitive 'to' needed before 'reduce'
why i agree why I agree Subject pronoun 'I' should be capitalized
makes then have overpriced makes them have overpriced 'Them' is a pronoun referring to 'cities'; wrong pronoun 'then' used
can not cannot Incorrect split form; should be written as one word
the business to it upmost abiities the business to its utmost abilities Incorrect possessive pronoun and incorrect spelling

Vocabulary Improvements

2 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
housing market is not very hard housing market is not very competitive 'Hard' is too informal and vague; 'competitive' is more specific
improve work space environment improve workplace environment 'Workplace' is a more proper collocation than 'work space environment'

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 5.5
Evaluation
The essay responds to the task but lacks a clear and well-supported perspective.
Examples
Mentions benefits for housing and traffic but lacks clear examples or a balanced discussion.
How to Improve
Develop arguments more thoroughly with specific examples or scenarios. Consider discussing potential downsides for a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion 5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure, but connections between ideas are not always clear.
Examples
The transition between discussing traffic and housing is abrupt and lacks cohesion.
How to Improve
Use linking words and more structured paragraphs to improve flow and coherence. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and link paragraphs logically.
Lexical Resource 5
Evaluation
The vocabulary used is limited and lacks variety, with some inaccuracies.
Examples
Repeated basic terms like 'good', 'great', and 'very'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary range by incorporating a wider variety of descriptive words and expressions. Use precise terms relevant to the topic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 5
Evaluation
There are frequent errors in spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure.
Examples
Errors include 'thier', 'resonable', and awkward sentence structures.
How to Improve
Improve grammatical accuracy by reviewing sentence structures and practicing correct spelling and punctuation. Consider grammatical exercises focusing on complex sentences.
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Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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