This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses online content creation and traditional careers. While it touches on key points, coherence and grammatical accuracy are areas needing improvement for a stronger argument.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Electronic Devices · 40 min
Many young people now aspire to become online content creators instead of pursuing traditional careers. Some believe this is a positive career choice for the younger generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay provides a partial response to the question, offering viewpoints on both online content creation and traditional careers. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the conclusion is incomplete. The response meets the word count requirement (282 words vs. 250 words minimum). There are issues with coherence, clarity, and grammatical accuracy that limit the effectiveness of the communication.
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In this 21st century Internet is playing vital role in individuals life. People enjoy watching vlogs, comedy videos, food vlogs etc, and this types of videos get more views in Facebook and Youtube. Because of this many teenagers have desire to become online influencer instead of doing business or career related job. Some individuals believe content creation is a beneficial career choice for young people but this statement" title="Correction: I partially agree with this statement">I am partially agree on this statement because traditional careers are also important to get a better future.
Firstly, online content creation is the the good source of income as well as it is easy to register online channel most of the youtubers are earning good income form their vlogs and videos. If young people started making content and upload it into social media platforms from an early age the channel will slowly get veiwers if content is good. Moreover, they will start earning when their channel get some amount of subscribers. One of the major problem with vloggers and comedy videos creators is there is heavy competation in this field. Therefore, your video has to uniq and more informative to get views.
Secondly, doing business and job is very helpful for the secure future. For example, doing job in relatable field and gaining experience on same job can lead to your promotion in higher rank where you can earn more. At the same time if you invest in some business from an early age you can built a big company in your future but there are some risk in businesses like we can face losses which can lead to depression ans loss of money.
To conclude, both traditional careers and online content creation have go
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
9 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| individuals | individual's |
| this | these |
| form | from |
| veiwers | viewers |
| get | gets |
| competation | competition |
| uniq | unique |
| built | build |
| ans | and |
Grammatical Mistakes
5 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Internet is playing vital role in individuals life | The Internet is playing a vital role in an individual's life | Article misuse and possessive form needed: add 'The' and change 'individuals' to 'individual's' |
| I am partially agree on this statement | I partially agree with this statement | Incorrect form: 'agree' followed by 'with', not 'on', and remove 'am' |
| the the good source | a good source | Double article and incorrect use of 'the'; use 'a' instead |
| If young people started making content and upload it | If young people start making content and upload it | Conditional sentence should maintain consistent tense |
| they will start earning when their channel get some amount of subscribers | they will start earning when their channel gets a certain number of subscribers | Subject-verb agreement and improved precision: 'channel' is singular, change 'get' to 'gets' and use 'a certain number' for clarity |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| vlogs | video blogs | Vlogs is informal; 'video blogs' is more formal |
| desire | aspiration | Aspiration is more specific and formal than 'desire' |
| good income | substantial income | 'Substantial' is more precise than 'good' |
| relatable | related | 'Related' is more precise; 'relatable' has a different meaning |
| big company | large enterprise | 'Large enterprise' is more formal and specific than 'big company' |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay partially addresses the question, presenting reasons for both online content creation and traditional careers.
Examples
The essay mentions income from YouTube and promotion in traditional jobs.
How to Improve
Develop the discussion more fully, ensure all points are well-explained, and provide a complete conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay is somewhat coherent but lacks clear transitions and structure in several parts, making it difficult to follow at times.
Examples
Phrases like 'online content creation is the good source of income' and 'built a big company in your future' lack cohesion.
How to Improve
Use clear linking words and phrases to connect ideas logically, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary used is adequate but repetitive and sometimes imprecise, with several spelling and typos errors.
Examples
Words like 'veiwers' (viewers), 'competation' (competition), 'uniq' (unique) are incorrectly spelled.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of vocabulary, ensure words are spelled correctly, and select precise words to convey the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Sentence structures are simple, with frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity.
Examples
Errors include 'Internet is playing vital role', 'the the good source', 'there is heavy competation'.
How to Improve
Improve grammar by practicing complex sentence structures and paying careful attention to verb forms and agreement.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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