This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses the pros and cons of relocating large businesses from urban to rural areas. While the writer partially agrees, clarity issues and lack of cohesion impact the overall quality. Let's examine how to improve the depth of arguments and fluency in writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay provides a partial agreement to the topic, discussing potential benefits and drawbacks of relocating businesses to rural areas. While it meets the word count requirement, it lacks depth in developing the arguments. The ideas are somewhat organized, but there is limited use of connectors, leading to less effective cohesion. The lexical range is adequate though not diverse, and there are several grammatical errors affecting clarity.
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I partially agree to the given statement, which was relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. Both has its own prose and cons.
Because mostly all the big businesses and industries and their workers will be in urban area not in rural area, so there will be more vehicles moving around, which leads to more traffic in the urban area than the rural areas. So relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural area will reduce the traffic in the rural area.
In another side, if we relocate all the big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas might shift" title="Correction: cause the traffic in urban areas to fully shift">make the traffic on urban area to shift fully to the rural area. So this might make the traffic congestion more on the rural area. The rural area is peaceful without traffic, it has a lot of natural greenery. But if we shift the big businesses in the rural areas, then the nature will be disturbed a lot. It might also increase the noise pollution.
Therefore shifting the big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas fully is not effective. So the best solution is to shift half of the big businesses and industries and their workers from the urban to the rural areas. This might even out the traffic and reduce the traffic efficiently.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
1 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| prose | pros |
Grammatical Mistakes
9 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Both has its own prose and cons. | Both have their own pros and cons. | Subject-verb agreement and pronoun agreement corrected; 'both' requires 'have' and 'their'. |
| Because mostly all the big businesses and industries and their workers will be in urban area not in rural area, | Because most of the big businesses and industries and their workers are in urban areas, not in rural areas, | Improper sentence structure and pluralization correction. |
| So relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural area | So relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas | Consistency in pluralization. |
| In another side, | On the other hand, | 'On the other hand' is the corrected phrase for contrasting points. |
| make the traffic on urban area to shift fully | cause the traffic in urban areas to fully shift | Incorrect phrase structure corrected for clarity. |
| So this might make the traffic congestion more on the rural area. | So this might increase traffic congestion in rural areas. | Improved sentence structure and consistency in pluralization. |
| Therefore shifting | Therefore, shifting | Comma needed after introductory phrase. |
| areas fully is not effective. | areas completely is not effective. | Placement of adverb corrected for clarity. |
| the urban to the rural areas | urban areas to rural areas | Improper article usage corrected. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| shift | relocate | 'Relocate' is more precise and formal. |
| peaceful without traffic | largely free from traffic | More precise language. |
| disturbed a lot | significantly impacted | More formal and precise language. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task by expressing partial agreement and discussing the pros and cons of relocating businesses.
Examples
The writer suggests that traffic congestion will decrease in urban areas but mentions potential issues of transfer and noise pollution in rural areas.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed examples and evaluations of the advantages and disadvantages. Address both perspectives more thoroughly to add depth.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is organized in a logical manner with paragraphs. However, there are some abrupt transitions between ideas.
Examples
The transition from discussing urban to rural impacts is not smoothly connected.
How to Improve
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the coherence and flow between points and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary used is adequate but not very varied or sophisticated.
Examples
The repeated use of phrases like 'relocating big businesses' and 'traffic congestion' without synonyms or rephrasing.
How to Improve
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition to demonstrate better lexical resource.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly in sentence structure and verb tenses.
Examples
Issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'Both has its own prose and cons.'
How to Improve
Work on sentence structure and consistency in tense usage. Practice correcting common errors to improve accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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