Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Relocating Businesses Essay: Coherence and Argument Depth Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published Jul 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ 279 words Β· Band 5.5
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Achieving a band score of 5.5 in IELTS writing, this essay discusses the idea of relocating businesses to alleviate urban congestion. Key feedback highlights include a lack of coherence in argument progression and insufficient depth in addressing the task prompt. Students can benefit from enhancing their structuring of ideas and providing more detailed examples.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min


Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write at least 250 words.
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5.5 Band

Overall Band Score

279 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· AI Evaluated

6
Task Response
5.5
Coherence
5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
6
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5

Summary: Hello User, the essay adequately addresses the task of discussing whether relocating businesses to rural areas is a valid solution for urban traffic and housing problems. However, it lacks depth in argumentation and is sometimes repetitive. There are issues with coherence, lexical choices, and grammatical correctness that hinder clear communication.

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Student Answer
Real submission β€’ 279 words β€’ Annotated
279 words Band 5.5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities.
Some people believe that if these high tension businesses and industries are tranferred to country sides so this will be a great achievement for the cities because the main reason is polution. When new industries are installed they also require workers in return they will also provide shelters for their respective workers which tends to over population in the city and will be the cause for pollution and also for traffic issues which are up to the mark nowadays.
While some of the people disagree with this idea because the rural areas are the source of agriculture and beautiful nature. If these big businesses and industites are relocated to the country side it will be a disaster for the nature. Rural areas are the symbol of simplicity and pureness which they prefer to be the same as it is. If it is not so then there will be no difference between rural and urban areas .
For more extent I disagree with this idea because traffic and housing in major cities is not because of the big businesses and industries, it is the facilities like higher level schools, hospitals, and shopping malls etc. which the cities have and they are attracting people from rural areas. The cities will be the same if the these things are relocated to rural areas but the country side will lead to the worst consequences. In my opinion they should not relocate it and they are better to be kept on their own places.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

3 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
polution pollution
tranferred transferred
industites industries

Grammatical Mistakes

3 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
so this will be so, this will be Missing comma after 'so' at the beginning of a clause
over population overpopulation Compound noun should be written as one word
which are up to the mark nowadays which are prevalent nowadays Incorrect expression for indicating something is common or widespread

Vocabulary Improvements

5 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
country sides countryside The term 'countryside' should be used as a singular noun
great achievement significant benefit More precise word choice for indicating advantage or improvement
symbol of simplicity and pureness symbol of simplicity and purity 'Purity' is the correct noun form
For more extent I disagree Furthermore, I disagree 'Furthermore' is a more suitable transition word than 'for more extent'
lead to the worst consequences lead to severe consequences More precise and academic phrase

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 6
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task prompt, presenting both sides of the argument and providing a personal opinion. However, the argumentation lacks depth and detailed examples, which are needed to fully support the points made.
Examples
While the essay mentions pollution and attractions of rural areas, it does not deeply explore how these factors contribute to the problem or solution.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed explanations and specific examples to strengthen the arguments. Discuss potential impacts and counterarguments in greater detail.
Coherence and Cohesion 5.5
Evaluation
The structure of the essay is logical, with paragraphs dedicated to different perspectives. Nevertheless, transitions between ideas could be smoother and the argument progression more coherent.
Examples
The transition between discussing pollution and later topics is abrupt. Some sentences appear disconnected from the previous points.
How to Improve
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to establish stronger connections between paragraphs and ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that contributes directly to the overall argument.
Lexical Resource 5
Evaluation
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccurate word choices and repetitive expressions.
Examples
Phrases like 'up to the mark' and 'be the same' are vague or used incorrectly. Repetition of 'country side' could be replaced with synonyms for variation.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary range by learning and practicing new words and phrases. Use synonyms to avoid repetition and choose more precise words to convey your ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 5
Evaluation
The essay has several grammatical errors and awkward sentence constructions that hinder readability.
Examples
Errors include 'tranferred', 'industites', and issues with subject-verb agreement, like 'the these things'. Sentence fragments and run-on sentences are also present.
How to Improve
Focus on improving sentence structure by reviewing basic grammar rules. Practice writing complex sentences accurately, using punctuation properly to clarify meaning.
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Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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