This Band 5.5 IELTS essay addresses the topic of relocating businesses from urban to rural areas, discussing both benefits and drawbacks. However, it struggles with organization and clarity, featuring multiple language errors that hinder comprehension. Understanding these issues can help improve your writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay partially addresses the task by presenting arguments for and against relocating businesses to rural areas. It meets the word count requirement but lacks clear organization and contains multiple language errors that affect comprehension.
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It is often suggested that shifting large companies and their staff from crowded cities to riral regions could help solve problems such as traffic congestion and a shortage of houding . I partly agree with this opinion because , although it would offer some benefits, it is not a complete or practical solution .
On the one hand , relocating business could bring several effects for effects for major cities . First , if thousands of employees move out of urban centers , the daily rush hours traffic would fall , whivh vould lead to lower rents and property prices . Finally, moving industries to the countryside could boost rural economies by creating jobs and improving local infrastructure . Forexample, if a tech company moved to asmall town , it would attract shops, schools,and better transport links to that area.
Howerver, there are also strong arguments against this idea. The main drawback is the cost and difficulty of relocation,clients,and skilled workforceavailable only in cities . Moving away would dirupt their operations and reduce efficiency . In addition, many rural areas areas lack essential services such as reliable public transport,fast internet, and advanced hospitals. As a result , employees may be unwilling to move, meaning traffic problems would simply shift rather thant disappear.
In conclusion, while moving buisnesses out of cities could ease some urban pressure, it create new economic and social challenges. Therefore, i believe goverment should focus on other solutions such as improving public transport and help to build plans for hard working students.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
11 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| riral | rural |
| houding | housing |
| whivh | which |
| vould | would |
| Forexample | For example |
| Howerver | However |
| dirupt | disrupt |
| thant | than |
| buisnesses | businesses |
| i | I |
| goverment | government |
Grammatical Mistakes
2 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| could bring several effects for effects for major cities | could have several effects on major cities | Repetition and incorrect preposition use fixed for clarity |
| moving buisnesses out of cities could ease | moving businesses out of cities could ease | Subject-verb agreement: 'businesses' is the correct plural form |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| move out of | relocate from | More formal and precise vocabulary |
| fall | decrease | Provides a more formal tone and clarity |
| jobs | employment opportunities | More formal and specific terminology |
| create new economic and social challenges | pose new economic and social challenges | More precise verb choice for the context |
| boost rural economies | stimulate rural economies | More formal and precise vocabulary |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task by evaluating both sides of the argument regarding relocating businesses and provides a partial response.
Examples
The essay mentions benefits such as reduced traffic and rural economic boosts but also notes drawbacks like relocation costs.
How to Improve
Strengthen the support and development of your ideas by giving more detailed examples and ensuring all relevant points of view are considered.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay attempts to present a coherent argument but is hampered by abrupt transitions and a lack of logical flow.
Examples
There are unclear transitions between discussing benefits and drawbacks. Repetitive phrases disrupt flow, such as 'effects for effects for major cities.'
How to Improve
Improve the logical progression of ideas with clear paragraphing and use linking words more effectively to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
A range of vocabulary is attempted but with many inaccuracies and repetitions.
Examples
Misspellings like 'riral,' 'houwing,' and 'whivh' reduce clarity. Repetition occurs, e.g., 'areas areas,' 'should,' and 'also.'
How to Improve
Enhance vocabulary by learning precise expressions and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate unnecessary repetition and incorrect word forms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The grammatical range is limited with frequent errors impacting comprehension.
Examples
Errors include incorrect tense usage, subject-verb agreement issues ('helps solve problems'), and punctuation errors.
How to Improve
Improve grammatical accuracy by practicing complex sentence structures, focusing on subject-verb agreement, and proofreading to correct punctuation and syntax errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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