This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses the opinion on relocating businesses to rural areas, highlighting issues in idea development and clarity. The response lacks depth and is under the required word count, which affects the overall effectiveness of the argument.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay attempts to address the question but falls short due to insufficient word count (242 vs. 250 words). It presents basic ideas relevant to the topic; however, the development of points lacks depth and detail. Language errors affect clarity and accuracy.
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some people believe that relocating large businesses to rural areas can solve traffic and housing problems in cities. while this idea has some advantages , I agree with this statement.
Firstly , why i agree? Because of reduced traffic congestions. So , nowadays there are a lots of employees who workes in industry and big businesses , and they are usually goes to their work place in the morning and they finish their work in the evenings , that's why on this time the traffic jam is so bad and also most of them drives. If factories and offices move outside cities, thousands of employees would no longer need to drive into city centers every morning.
The second reason why I agree is because of lower housing demand in cities.When workers relocate to smaller towns, demand for urban housing drops, making accommodation more affordable, and also more living space available. So exactly what i mean by this is , if employees goes to the rural regions instead of urban areas there will be available more spaces and houses.
The last reason is the development of rural areas. If big businesses and industries will relocate to rural areas from urban areas there will be created jobs in villages and small towns . Therefore, new businesses can bring better roads, schools, hospitals , and internet services to rural communities. So what I mean by this is it will be really benefitial to impruve infrastructure.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
3 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| workes | works |
| benefitial | beneficial |
| impruve | improve |
Grammatical Mistakes
6 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| while this idea has some advantages , | while this idea has some advantages, | Incorrect punctuation: No space is needed before a comma. |
| Firstly , why i agree? | Firstly, why do I agree? | Incorrect punctuation and capitalization: 'I' should be capitalized; question form needs auxiliary 'do'. |
| there are a lots of employees | there are a lot of employees | Incorrect use of plural form 'lots': The correct phrase is 'a lot of'. |
| they are usually goes to their work place | they usually go to their workplace | Subject-verb agreement: 'they' is plural and requires 'go'. |
| if employees goes to the rural regions | if employees go to the rural regions | Subject-verb agreement: 'employees' is plural and requires 'go'. |
| there will be created jobs | jobs will be created | Word order: Passive voice requires the past participle form 'created' after 'be'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| traffic congestions | traffic congestion | Incorrect expression: 'Traffic congestion' is usually uncountable. |
| So what I mean by this is it will be really benefitial | This means it will be very beneficial | Too informal: Use of 'so' and 'really' is too conversational for an essay; 'very beneficial' is more appropriate. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks adequate development and supporting examples. It is under the required word count, which impacts the score.
Examples
Reasons for agreement are presented but need more detailed elaboration and examples.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to fully develop your ideas. Ensure your essay meets the minimum word count.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
Basic structure with some logical sequencing of ideas. However, transitions between ideas need improvement.
Examples
Phrases like 'Firstly' and 'The second reason' indicate attempt at structure but are repetitively used.
How to Improve
Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly and vary sentence structures to improve flow.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
Uses basic vocabulary related to the topic but lacks sophistication and precision.
Examples
Terms like 'traffic congestion' and 'lower housing demand' are appropriately used but without much variation.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary range by incorporating more precise and varied words and phrases.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent errors in verb forms and sentence construction.
Examples
Errors such as 'there are a lots of employees' and 'most of them drives' were noted.
How to Improve
Work on verb agreement and sentence variety. Practice constructing complex sentences accurately.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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