This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses the pros and cons of relocating businesses to rural areas, highlighting key areas for improvement in argument development and coherence. The feedback addresses the superficial support for ideas and the lack of clear connections between points.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
ο»Ώο»Ώ
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (264 words) and addresses the topic by presenting both advantages and disadvantages of relocating businesses to rural areas. However, the arguments are underdeveloped, with limited support and examples. Coherence is basic but hampered by mechanical linking and unclear connections. Vocabulary is repetitive and contains spelling errors, while grammar exhibits frequent mistakes that reduce clarity. Overall, the response is indicative of a Band 5.5 level.
Now write your own β and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Urban Planning essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar β plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
Nowdays many vast businesses, industries and their workers are shifting from high tech cities to villages. This will lead to low traffic at working hours and also the issue of housing will be resolved.
On the other hand moving big industries to small villages will cause problems in transporting the goods. Villages are not well developed to satisfy all the needs of industries. All the essential products will need to bring from the cities which will consume so much time and the factory processes will be delayed. Moreover pollution is the important factor which will be caused by big factories. In villages most of the people do farming and due to factory smoke the quality of crops will be destroyed. This will lead to bad health and sickness.
In addition one positive aspect moving big businesses to rural areas is increase in employement. Many people of the villages who are jobless can work in the industries and improve their daily lifestyles. However looking to the big factories students get motivated to study hard and encourage themeselves to enrolled as a manager in this industries.
I believe moving factories to the villages will lead to the growth of the country because now educated and uneducated people are living in the same area so people can learn from each other. For example educated people can help villagers to understand the time management and in contrast local people will teach the importance of helathy lifestyle to city people.
In conclusion it is good to move big bussinesses to local areas if they are controlled to some extent" title="Correction: controlled to some extent">controlled in some extents.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
5 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| Nowdays | Nowadays |
| employement | employment |
| themeselves | themselves |
| helathy | healthy |
| bussinesses | businesses |
Grammatical Mistakes
15 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| On the other hand moving | On the other hand, moving | Missing comma after introductory phrase |
| will need to bring | will need to be brought | Passive voice required; products are brought, not bring |
| Moreover pollution | Moreover, pollution | Missing comma after transitional adverb |
| the important factor which will be caused | an important issue that will be caused | Article misuse and awkward phrasing; 'the' should be 'an', and 'factor which will be caused' is unclear |
| In villages most | In villages, most | Missing comma after introductory phrase |
| due to factory smoke the quality | due to factory smoke, the quality | Missing comma after introductory phrase |
| In addition one positive aspect moving | In addition, one positive aspect of moving | Missing comma and preposition 'of' after 'aspect' |
| is increase in employement | is an increase in employment | Missing article 'an' before 'increase' |
| However looking to | However, looking at | Missing comma after 'However' and incorrect preposition; 'looking at' is standard |
| encourage themeselves to enrolled | encourage themselves to enroll | Spelling error in 'themselves' and incorrect verb form; 'to' should be followed by base verb 'enroll' |
| in this industries | in these industries | Demonstrative pronoun agreement; 'industries' is plural, so use 'these' |
| For example educated | For example, educated | Missing comma after 'For example' |
| in contrast local | in contrast, local | Missing comma after 'in contrast' |
| In conclusion it | In conclusion, it | Missing comma after introductory phrase |
| controlled in some extents | controlled to some extent | Preposition error and number agreement; 'to some extent' is the correct phrase |
Vocabulary Improvements
10 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| vast businesses | large businesses | 'Vast' is typically used for physical spaces; 'large' is more appropriate for businesses |
| high tech cities | high-tech cities | Compound adjective should be hyphenated for clarity |
| low traffic | reduced traffic | 'Low' is vague; 'reduced' better indicates a decrease from previous levels |
| consume so much time | require a significant amount of time | 'Consume' is metaphorical and 'so much' is informal; more formal and precise alternative |
| bad health and sickness | poor health and illness | 'Bad' is informal; 'poor' is standard in academic context for health |
| daily lifestyles | daily lives | 'Lifestyles' refers to way of living, but 'daily lives' is more specific to everyday activities |
| looking to | observing | 'Looking to' is informal and ambiguous; 'observing' is more precise for seeing and noticing |
| enrolled as a manager | become managers | 'Enrolled' is incorrect collocation for job positions; 'become' is appropriate |
| the time management | time management | Article misuse; 'time management' is a general concept and does not require 'the' |
| controlled | regulated | 'Controlled' might imply excessive restriction; 'regulated' is more neutral for business contexts |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Urban Planning essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria β with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument and stating a conditional agreement. However, the position is not consistently developed, and arguments are presented superficially without elaboration or specific examples.
Examples
The writer mentions that relocation could reduce traffic and housing issues but does not explain how. Negative points like transportation delays and pollution affecting crops are stated briefly without detailed analysis.
How to Improve
Clearly state the extent of agreement or disagreement in the introduction. Develop each body paragraph with detailed explanations, relevant examples, and evidence. For instance, explain mechanisms for reducing traffic or cite real-world cases of industrial relocation.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesive devices are used mechanically, and the flow between ideas is sometimes awkward or unclear.
Examples
The second paragraph begins with 'On the other hand' without a clear contrast to the previous idea. Transitions between paragraphs are abrupt, and paragraph topics could be more sharply focused.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' 'consequently') accurately. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas logically progress. Practice linking sentences within paragraphs to improve fluency.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling and word formation errors that occasionally impede understanding. Some word choices are inappropriate or imprecise.
Examples
Misspellings: 'Nowdays' (Nowadays), 'bussinesses' (businesses), 'helathy' (healthy). Repetition of 'big factories' and 'villages.' Inaccurate phrasing: 'vast businesses' might be better as 'large businesses.'
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning topic-specific terms (e.g., 'urban sprawl,' 'infrastructure,' 'sustainable development'). Use a dictionary to check spelling and word forms. Practice paraphrasing to avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay relies on simple sentence structures, with attempts at complex sentences that often contain grammatical errors. Errors in verb tenses, articles, prepositions, and word order are frequent and affect clarity.
Examples
Incorrect verb forms: 'will need to bring' (should be 'will need to be brought'), 'encourage themeselves to enrolled' (should be 'encourage themselves to enroll'). Article error: 'in this industries' (should be 'in these industries').
How to Improve
Practice using a variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences. Focus on correct verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors before submission.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
Many people hold different opinions regarding living alone.Some people want to live alone as they wanted to spend their lives on their own terms.If they live al...
02
People nowadays prefer to have adventurous and thrilling activities on their holidays, rather than relaxing in a distant place. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.
There is a lot of debate between citizen about people who going out on holidays and made some adventuous rather than getting some rest in their homes. while com...
03
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
People preferred to live alone these days than before is because they are many factors before making a decision to move out. For the present generation, the wo...
04
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
In few nations, nowadays many people are choosing to stay alone than before. From my perspective, it is a positive development because a man can live independen...
05
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.ο»Ώο»Ώ
It has been observed that industries and business workplaces could be replace from city to natives for solving the traffic jam and housing issues. It has both a...