This band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses relocating businesses to mitigate urban traffic and housing issues. While some relevant points are made, the essay requires deeper analysis and better coherence to address the task effectively.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User. The essay falls short of the required word count, which affects the Task Response score. It provides some relevant ideas but lacks sufficient depth and development to fully address the question. Improvements in coherence, cohesion, and grammatical accuracy are needed to strengthen the overall argument and presentation.
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It is often argued that relocating big businesses and industries abd their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. While some people support this view, i completely agree with this statement for several reasons.
Firstly, relocating large companies and factories to rural areas can significantly reduce traffic congestion in major cities.For example, this is because thousands of employees would no longer need to commute to city centres every day, resulting in fewer vehicles on the roads.A good example of this is when companies establish offices outside major cities, allowing employees to work closer to their homes and reducing daily commuting times.
Another reason why i support this view is that such a policy could help alleviate housing shortages in urban areas. As a result, property prices and rental costs may become more affordable for city residents . For example, fewer people competing for apartments in large cities would make housing more affordable for remaining residents.
In conclusion, although both viewpoints have their merits, i strongly agree that movig large businesse and their employess to rural areas would be an effective way to reduce traffic congestion and ease housing pressures in major cities.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
5 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| abd | and |
| i | I |
| movig | moving |
| businesse | businesses |
| employess | employees |
Grammatical Mistakes
3 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Firstly | First | Since there is no 'Secondly', it is more appropriate to use 'First'. |
| centres | centers | Consistent use of American English spelling is recommended throughout the essay. |
| For example, this is because | This is because | The phrase 'For example,' is redundant and incorrect in this context. |
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| big businesses | large corporations | 'Large corporations' is a more formal and precise term than 'big businesses'. |
| a good solution | an effective solution | 'Effective' is more precise than 'good' in an academic context. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay presents a relevant stance and provides some reasons why relocating businesses can alleviate traffic and housing issues. However, it lacks depth and detailed examples to fully support the position.
Examples
The essay briefly mentions the effects of reduced commuting and housing competition but doesn't explore these points in detail or discuss potential drawbacks.
How to Improve
Expand on your ideas with more examples and analysis. Discuss potential counterarguments or limitations to provide a well-rounded perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is reasonably well-organized with a clear structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Examples
The paragraphs are logically connected, but the use of linking words and transitional phrases is limited.
How to Improve
Use more cohesive devices and transitional phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are some errors and repetition that affect clarity.
Examples
Words like 'relocating,' 'traffic congestion,' and 'housing' are repeated; variations and synonyms could improve vocabulary usage.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary with synonymous expressions and use more varied language to enhance clarity and precision.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
The essay shows a basic range of grammatical structures. However, there are some errors in sentence structure and agreement.
Examples
Mistakes such as 'i completely agree' instead of 'I completely agree,' 'businesse' instead of 'businesses,' and other minor grammatical errors are evident.
How to Improve
Pay attention to capitalization, sentence structure, and subject-verb agreement. Practice writing more complex sentences accurately.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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