This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas as a solution to urban problems. While it presents relevant issues, it lacks depth and sufficient examples. The writing features basic coherence and several grammatical errors that hinder clarity.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
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Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (265 words) and addresses the prompt by arguing that relocating businesses to rural areas is a good solution. However, the response lacks depth in development and support, with superficial ideas and no exploration of counterarguments. Coherence is basic with some organizational issues, vocabulary is simple and contains spelling errors, and grammar has frequent mistakes that affect clarity.
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To solve the issue of traffic congestion and housing in major cities, relocating big business and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural area could be a good solution.
Big cities generally packed with busy roads and traffics. And the rapid growth of industrialization, attracts more workers and traffics. A popluation increase also effect the renting cost of accommodation. Shortage of accommodation becomes a common issue as well. Therefore, a rise of cost is commonly exprienced by most of the business with a profit decline. Because the rise o living cost demands a rise of slary. On the other hand, industries pollutes cities. It has a negative effect on soil, water and air. It affects the helath of the populations as well as the agricultural sector of the city.
Village genreally don't have big industries and business. But generally it has plenty of wasted lands which can be used for industries. At the same time, there are few opportunities in the villages. So, a company can boost the village economy. Since village has a smaller poplutation , renting accommodation will not be a problem. And living cost in the rural areas are quite low so there is a high chance that company will exprience a profit gain. Most importantly, there are almost no traffics in the country side., so it will save a lot of time.
In conclusion, shfiting big business and industries in the rural area could be a good idea to solve problems such as traffic and housing. It will also boost the rural economy and help to develop the area.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
13 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| traffics | traffic |
| popluation | population |
| effect | affect |
| exprienced | experienced |
| o | of |
| slary | salary |
| pollutes | pollute |
| helath | health |
| genreally | generally |
| poplutation | population |
| exprience | experience |
| traffics | traffic |
| shfiting | shifting |
Grammatical Mistakes
12 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Big cities generally packed with busy roads and traffics. | Big cities are generally packed with busy roads and traffic. | Missing verb 'are' and incorrect pluralization of 'traffic'. |
| And the rapid growth of industrialization, attracts more workers and traffics. | The rapid growth of industrialization attracts more workers and traffic. | Unnecessary comma and incorrect pluralization of 'traffic'. |
| A popluation increase also effect the renting cost of accommodation. | A population increase also affects the rental cost of accommodation. | Incorrect verb form 'effect' replaced with 'affects' and 'renting cost' replaced with 'rental cost' for accuracy. |
| Shortage of accommodation becomes a common issue as well. | The shortage of accommodation has become a common issue as well. | Added article 'The' and adjusted tense for clarity. |
| Therefore, a rise of cost is commonly exprienced by most of the business with a profit decline. | Therefore, a rise in cost is commonly experienced by most businesses, leading to a profit decline. | Corrected 'exprienced' to 'experienced', 'business' to 'businesses', and improved sentence structure. |
| Because the rise o living cost demands a rise of slary. | This is because the rise in living costs demands an increase in salary. | Improved sentence structure and corrected spelling errors. |
| It has a negative effect on soil, water and air. | This has a negative effect on soil, water, and air. | Improved sentence clarity and added a serial comma. |
| Village genreally don't have big industries and business. | Villages generally do not have large industries and businesses. | Corrected pluralization and improved formality. |
| Since village has a smaller poplutation , renting accommodation will not be a problem. | Since villages have smaller populations, renting accommodation will not be a problem. | Corrected pluralization and spelling errors. |
| And living cost in the rural areas are quite low so there is a high chance that company will exprience a profit gain. | Living costs in rural areas are quite low, so there is a high chance that companies will experience a profit gain. | Corrected pluralization, spelling, and sentence structure. |
| Most importantly, there are almost no traffics in the country side., so it will save a lot of time. | Most importantly, there is almost no traffic in the countryside, so it will save a lot of time. | Corrected pluralization, punctuation, and word choice. |
| In conclusion, shfiting big business and industries in the rural area could be a good idea to solve problems such as traffic and housing. | In conclusion, shifting big businesses and industries to rural areas could be a good idea to solve problems such as traffic and housing. | Corrected spelling and improved sentence structure. |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| renting cost | rental cost | 'Rental cost' is more precise and formal. |
| rise of cost | rise in cost | Correct preposition usage for formal writing. |
| living cost | living costs | Plural form 'living costs' is more accurate. |
| company | companies | Plural form is more appropriate in this context. |
| country side | countryside | Correct spelling and usage. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
6
Evaluation
The essay presents a clear position agreeing with the opinion, and relevant ideas about city problems and rural benefits are included. However, development is limited, with minimal extension or detailed examples. The response does not address potential drawbacks or alternative perspectives, reducing its depth.
Examples
The writer mentions traffic, housing costs, and pollution in cities, and contrasts with rural advantages like available land and lower costs, but these points are not elaborated with specific evidence or analysis.
How to Improve
To improve, extend each main idea with specific examples, data, or real-world cases. Consider counterarguments, such as the challenges of rural relocation (e.g., infrastructure costs, worker reluctance), and explicitly state the extent of agreement (e.g., 'I largely agree, but with some reservations').
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but paragraphing is underdeveloped. Ideas are presented logically but with awkward transitions, and cohesive devices are used repetitively or incorrectly. Some sentences run on or are fragmented, affecting flow.
Examples
The body paragraph mixes city issues and rural benefits without clear separation. Cohesive devices like 'Therefore' and 'On the other hand' are used, but connections between sentences are sometimes weak (e.g., 'Because the rise o living cost demands a rise of slary').
How to Improve
Use separate paragraphs for city problems and rural benefits. Improve linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Conversely') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. Proofread to correct run-on sentences and punctuation errors.
Lexical Resource
5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic but limited in range and sophistication. There are frequent spelling errors and inappropriate word choices, which sometimes obscure meaning. Some topic-related terms are used, but repetition is common.
Examples
Misspellings: 'popluation' (population), 'exprienced' (experienced), 'slary' (salary), 'helath' (health), 'genreally' (generally). Incorrect word forms: 'traffics' (should be 'traffic', uncountable). Repetition of words like 'cost' and 'traffic'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms (e.g., 'congestion' for 'traffic', 'residences' for 'housing'). Practice spelling and use a dictionary to verify word forms. Incorporate more precise and varied terms to describe economic and social effects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
4.5
Evaluation
Grammatical structures are predominantly simple, with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, articles, tenses, and sentence construction. Mistakes are pervasive and often hinder comprehension, reducing clarity and impact.
Examples
Errors: 'industries pollutes' (should be 'pollute'), 'Big cities generally packed' (missing 'are'), 'A popluation increase also effect' (should be 'affects'), 'Village genreally don't have' (should be 'Villages generally don't have'). Sentence fragment: 'Shortage of accommodation becomes a common issue as well.'
How to Improve
Focus on basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and article usage. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors, or seek feedback from teachers or language tools.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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