This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses relocating big businesses and industries to rural areas. While it addresses the topic, the essay suffers from unclear arguments and lacks depth, affecting overall coherence and vocabulary usage. Improve your skills by learning how to present ideas more effectively.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and clarity in its arguments. While it meets the word count requirement, the response is repetitive and lacks sufficient development of ideas. There are issues with coherence, vocabulary usage, and grammatical accuracy, which limit the overall effectiveness of the essay.
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Urbanization is the process of making rural areas or undeveloped places into a urban and developed areas. Urbanization is one of the vital and most demanded phenomenon required thing at current .
Generally, speaking of urban cities , they are more populated , more congested , more polluted and many more demerits. Not only demerits it has lots of advantages too in comparison to rural areas urban area are more facilliated and more developed .
Urban areas are full of big buildings, industries, firms, schools , hospitals, stations, residential areas, political buildings and any more. Similary , rural area consists of basic and common buildings , hospital, school , station, etc which are basic and important for normal habitat of humans . In presence of big business buildings and industries and their workers makes cities more congested . Just opposite absences of business buildings and industries and their workers makes rural area more spacious and more uncongested.
For the management of this problem we can work with a term called relocating . As per this, we can shift big businesses and industries and their workers to countryside rural areas . It can help by minimizing the problem of congestion as it will leave more space for roads which will also minimize the problems of traffic congestion and housing in major cities.
At the conclusion , it is the best solution , relocating the big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas for the management of traffic issues and housing in major cities.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| facilliated | facilitated |
| Similary | Similarly |
Grammatical Mistakes
6 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| making rural areas or undeveloped places into a urban and developed areas | making rural areas or undeveloped places into urban and developed areas | Article misuse: 'a' should not be used with plural 'areas' |
| phenomenon required thing at current | phenomenon required at present | Phrase structure: 'at present' is the proper phrase |
| In presence of big business buildings | In the presence of big business buildings | Article misuse: 'the' is needed before 'presence' |
| Just opposite absences of business buildings | In contrast, absence of business buildings | Incorrect phrasing: 'In contrast, absence' provides clarity |
| For the management of this problem we can work with a term called relocating | To manage this problem, we can use a term called 'relocating' | Incorrect phrasing: 'To manage' is a more direct expression |
| At the conclusion | In conclusion | Incorrect phrasing: 'In conclusion' is the standard phrase |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| many more demerits | many other disadvantages | Informal: 'demerits' is less commonly used, 'disadvantages' is clearer |
| more spacious and more uncongested | more spacious and less congested | Incorrect phrasing: 'less congested' is the correct form |
| countryside rural areas | rural areas | Redundant: 'countryside' implies rural |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear opinion on relocating businesses and industries to rural areas. However, the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive, with limited exploration of the advantages and challenges of the proposed solution.
Examples
For instance, the essay mentions that relocating businesses will reduce congestion and housing issues but does not provide specific examples or evidence to support this claim.
How to Improve
To improve, provide more detailed arguments and examples. Discuss both the benefits and potential drawbacks of relocation, such as the impact on rural infrastructure or the feasibility of such a move.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, ideas are not well-organized, and there is a lack of clear progression between sentences and paragraphs. Repetition of ideas reduces cohesion.
Examples
For example, the essay repeatedly mentions that urban areas are congested and rural areas are spacious without adding new insights.
How to Improve
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Avoid repetition and ensure each paragraph introduces a new point or perspective.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is limited and lacks variety. Some words and phrases are repeated excessively, and there are instances of incorrect word usage.
Examples
Words like 'congested,' 'relocating,' and 'businesses' are overused. Phrases like 'required thing at current' are awkward and unclear.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by using synonyms and more precise terms. Avoid repetitive language and focus on using contextually appropriate words.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect sentence structures, verb forms, and punctuation. These errors make the essay difficult to read and reduce its overall clarity.
Examples
Errors include 'Urbanization is one of the vital and most demanded phenomenon required thing at current' and 'Similary, rural area consists of basic and common buildings.'
How to Improve
Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar. Practice writing complex sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement. Proofread your work to identify and correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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