This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses relocating industries from urban to rural areas. While it touches on traffic and housing solutions, it lacks clarity and depth in its arguments. Proper development of ideas and meeting the word count are essential for achieving better results.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay partially addresses the topic but falls short of the required 250 words, with only 243 words. The ideas presented lack development, depth, and clarity. To improve, ensure you meet the word count and offer more detailed arguments and examples.
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Relocating large businesses and industries from urban to rural region is often considered as a solution to problems like traffic congestion and housingshortages. While this approach can be beneficial, I partially agree that it is an effective solution.
One key advantages of relocating industries to rural areas to urban is the reduction of traffic congestion and housing pressure in cities. When large companies relocate their businesses to rural areas, fewer employees are required to live and commute within city. for instance, in China major comapnies have relocated themselves in rural areas and as a result it has shown reduced overcrowding in major cities like Beijing. as a result both traffic congestion and housing demand have decreased significiantly.
On the other hand, it also provides employemnet opportunities to the villagers near the relocated areas , but it may have shortages of skilled worker due to lack of transportation , education and as well as better health care in rural regions for instance according to econmic stats of UNICEF industries relocated in urban areas have mainly undergone in losses due to lack of facilities available to work for the skilled workers, reducing productivity and overalll efficinency.
In concluison, although relocating industries to rural areas may help in reducing traffic congestion as well as housing problems in cities , it is not a complete solution due to various practical challenges. Therefore , I believe this approach can be beneficial but should be combined with other measures.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
9 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| housingshortages | housing shortages |
| advantages | advantage |
| comapnies | companies |
| significiantly | significantly |
| employemnet | employment |
| econmic | economic |
| overal | overall |
| efficinency | efficiency |
| concluison | conclusion |
Grammatical Mistakes
10 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| considered as a solution | considered a solution | The verb 'considered' does not require 'as' in this context. |
| one key advantages of | one key advantage of | Subject-verb agreement: 'one' implies singular, so 'advantage' should be singular. |
| region is often | regions are often | The plural noun 'regions' requires a plural verb. |
| fewer employees are required to live and commute within city | fewer employees are required to live and commute within the city | Missing definite article 'the' before 'city'. |
| as a result it has shown reduced | as a result, it has shown reduced | A comma is needed after 'result' for proper punctuation. |
| it also provides employemnet opportunities to the villagers near the relocated areas , but it may have shortages of skilled worker | it also provides employment opportunities to the villagers near the relocated areas, but there may be a shortage of skilled workers | Pronoun misuse: 'it' to 'there', incorrect pluralization, punctuation correction. |
| industries relocated in urban areas have mainly undergone in losses | industries relocated in rural areas have mainly experienced losses | Incorrect preposition and tense use; 'undergone in' to 'experienced'. |
| reducing productivity and overalll efficinency | reducing productivity and overall efficiency | Correcting spelling and conjunction consistency. |
| in cities , it is not | in cities, it is not | Remove space before the comma. |
| Therefore , | Therefore, | Remove space before the comma. |
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| relocated themselves | relocated | The reflexive pronoun is unnecessary; 'relocated' is sufficient. |
| major comapnies | large companies | Improper adjective; 'large' is the more conventional term in this context. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The response addresses the task partially but lacks depth and sufficient development. It provides some relevant ideas but does not fully explore them.
Examples
The essay mentions potential benefits and challenges of relocating industries but does not provide a balanced analysis.
How to Improve
To improve, aim to expand on each point by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Ensure you meet the minimum word count of 250 words.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic organizational structure but lacks smooth progression. Ideas are not connected clearly, leading to some confusion in the argument.
Examples
There is a lack of clear transition between the benefits and challenges discussed.
How to Improve
Use transition phrases and linking words more effectively to connect ideas and ensure logical flow. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea supported by evidence.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several spelling errors.
Examples
Words such as 'comapnies' and 'econmic stats' are misspelled.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary range by learning synonyms and context-appropriate words. Proofread to catch and correct spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay contains a variety of grammatical errors and awkward sentence constructions, which impede readability.
Examples
Errors include 'advantages of relocating industries to rural areas to urban' and 'it also provides employemnet opportunities.'
How to Improve
Practice writing complex sentences accurately and ensure subject-verb agreement. Pay attention to sentence structure and vary sentence types to improve complexity.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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