This essay received a band score of 5.5 on the IELTS, focusing on the relocation of industries. Key issues included a lack of coherence and clarity in presenting arguments. To enhance your writing, focus on organizing ideas better and improving grammatical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User. The essay addresses the topic but lacks clear organization and development of ideas. While it meets the word count requirement, it has issues with coherence and grammar that impede clarity.
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Relocating of big buisnesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestions and housing in major cities.
From this first hand, big industries causes pollution in atomospher and environment with their wastage of smoke and liquid from sewage and smoke pipes. They also handle there logistics in heavy duty trucks and vans, their transportations creates disturbance in flow of traffic. Moreover, many people living around in the area of these big industries" title="Correction: industries">insdustries migrate to other the parts of city because they face health challenges and an unhealthy environment" title="Correction: face health challenges and an unhealthy environment">face health challenges and unhealthy environment.
On the other hand, Big Buisnesses have huge number of employees in their companies many graduates do interships and got jobs in buisnesses, they generate job opportunities and do support to over come the economic challenges in cites. Big buisness have their own buildings and offices with car parking facility. They also offer house for resident to their employees so that they can easily adjust in new enviornment.
In my opinion, I strongly agree with relocation of big indusries because i believe they create challenges in urban areas. Many people are affected from their operations and waste materials.
I strongly disagree with the movement of big buisnesses to urban areas therefore, they create the well balanced living standard in cities by offer different opportunities to the working class and also contribute their share in building the econonmy of city.
In conclusion, Big buisnesses are the part for the development of city while big industries create difficulties and challenges in enviornment for the people who live around in housing.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
7 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| buisnesses | businesses |
| industries | industries |
| atomospher | atmosphere |
| insdustries | industries |
| enviornment | environment |
| indusries | industries |
| econonmy | economy |
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| causes pollution | cause pollution | Subject-verb agreement: 'industries' is plural and requires 'cause' |
| there logistics | their logistics | Possessive pronoun error: 'there' should be 'their' |
| face health challenges and unhealthy environment | face health challenges and an unhealthy environment | Article usage: 'an' is needed before 'unhealthy environment' |
| do support to over come | support overcoming | Phrase construction: simplify to 'support overcoming' |
| offer house for resident | offer housing for residents | Pluralization and article use: 'housing for residents' is appropriate |
| i believe | I believe | Capitalization: 'I' needs to be capitalized |
| who live around in housing | who live nearby | Incorrect prepositional phrase; 'nearby' is more concise |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| their transportations creates disturbance | their transportation disrupts | Improper collocation; 'disrupts' is more precise than 'creates disturbance' |
| face health challenges | experience health challenges | More precise verb choice: 'experience' better captures the sense of undergoing challenges |
| got jobs | obtain jobs | Informal: 'obtain' is more formal and appropriate for an essay |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a position on the topic by agreeing with the relocation of industries and against the relocation of businesses.
Examples
The writer agrees with relocating industries due to pollution but disagrees with relocating businesses due to their economic benefits.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed arguments and examples for both positions. Include potential pros and cons for relocating businesses to strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay lacks clear organization, and transitions between ideas are not smooth, making it less coherent.
Examples
Sentences like 'On the other hand, Big Buisnesses have huge number...' need clearer connections to the arguments made previously.
How to Improve
Improve paragraph structure by dividing ideas into separate paragraphs with clear topic sentences and use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The vocabulary range is adequate but not varied enough, with frequent spelling mistakes affecting clarity.
Examples
Words like 'buisnesses' and 'enviornment' are consistently misspelled, which detracts from the overall impression.
How to Improve
Focus on expanding vocabulary and ensure accurate spelling. Use specific terms related to the topic to demonstrate a wider lexical range.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including verb tense inconsistencies and sentence structure issues.
Examples
Examples include 'causes pollution in atomospher' and 'they offer house for resident.'
How to Improve
Work on sentence variety and structure, ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage. Proofread for errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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