Achieving a Band 5.5 in your IELTS essay on relocating industries highlights the necessity of addressing grammar and coherence issues. While the essay presents a clear opinion, it faces challenges in maintaining a smooth flow and accurate vocabulary. Enhancing these aspects can significantly boost your writing score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay meets the minimum word count with 275 words and adequately addresses the task. It presents a clear position on the topic but is hindered by issues in coherence, vocabulary usage, and grammatical accuracy. Focus on improving grammar accuracy and enhancing vocabulary for better scores.
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Urban areas always face criticisms like traffic congestion, Pollution and Poor Sanitation etc. I strongly agree that big businesses and industries should relocate at some extend to rural areas not only to decrease the urban areas issues but as well as for the development of rural areas such as good education and medical facalities etc.
Due to large industries urban areas face following major issues like high population, expensive housing and grossary, Pollution and Poor Sanitation etc. when we developed only few cities it result bad urbanization. For example in Punjab we develped only lahore as a major urban unit of the whole provience due to which peoples from the surrounding cities infact from the whole provience migrate to lahore which cause tranffic congestion and pollution like issues in lahore. as we know lahore ranked number one in polution in the world due to large population (workers) and heavy industralization.
So if we start developing rural areas by relocationg or moving big businesses or industries from develoiped urban areas to nearby rural areas it will not only decrese the urban areas issues but also increase the rural areas development like good schooling, better health services, good trafic control and other wellfare facalities etc.
So as a conclusion i strongly agree with relocating of industries from cities to town areas because i belive that with countable or controlable population we can effectively manage our both urban and rural areas. Like by proper town or city planining we can effectively manage our tranffic and prevent our peoples from accident or incidents etc and also can make our enviroment sustainable for both of us and our future generations.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
20 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| Pollution | pollution |
| facalities | facilities |
| grossary | grocery |
| Pollution | pollution |
| tranffic | traffic |
| Pollution | pollution |
| industralization | industrialization |
| relocationg | relocating |
| develoiped | developed |
| decrese | decrease |
| trafic | traffic |
| wellfare | welfare |
| facalities | facilities |
| i | I |
| belive | believe |
| controlable | controllable |
| planining | planning |
| tranffic | traffic |
| peoples | people |
| enviroment | environment |
Grammatical Mistakes
5 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| at some extend | to some extent | Incorrect preposition 'at' and word form 'extend'. Use 'to' and 'extent'. |
| not only to decrease the urban areas issues but as well as for | not only to decrease the issues of urban areas but also for | The correct correlative conjunction is 'not only... but also...'. |
| when we developed only few cities it result bad urbanization | when we develop only a few cities, it results in poor urbanization | Consistency in tense and missing article 'a'; use present tense for 'develop' and 'results in'. |
| which peoples from the surrounding cities infact from the whole provience migrate | which means people from the surrounding cities, in fact, from the whole province migrate | Comma needed after connecting word 'in fact' and correct spelling of 'people' and 'province'. |
| it result bad urbanization | it results in poor urbanization | Subject-verb agreement and correct preposition; use 'results in'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| big businesses | large businesses | 'Large' is a more academic and precise term than 'big' for business contexts. |
| good education and medical facilities | quality education and healthcare facilities | 'Quality' and 'healthcare' provide a more precise and formal explanation. |
| bad urbanization | poor urbanization | Use 'poor' to describe quality in a formal tone rather than 'bad'. |
| make our environment sustainable for both of us and our future generations | create a sustainable environment for current and future generations | Rephrase to provide a clearer and more formal expression. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear opinion about relocating businesses to rural areas.
Examples
The argument is made that relocating businesses could reduce urban issues like traffic congestion and help develop rural areas.
How to Improve
To improve further, provide more detailed explanations and examples to support each point and address some potential counterarguments.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
There are attempts at organizing ideas, but continuity is affected by abrupt transitions and a lack of clear topic sentences.
Examples
The use of 'so' to connect paragraphs can be improved. Transition into new points is not always smooth.
How to Improve
Use more cohesive devices to link ideas, and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus with topic sentences.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The essay uses a basic range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies.
Examples
Words like 'grossary' instead of 'grocery', 'developed' instead of 'developed' and 'facalities' instead of 'facilities'.
How to Improve
Work on expanding your vocabulary knowledge and ensure accuracy in word selection. Familiarize yourself with synonyms and context-appropriate words.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates limited grammatical range with frequent errors.
Examples
Mistakes such as 'pollution like issues', 'i belive', and inappropriate capitalizations.
How to Improve
Focus on subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and punctuation. Practice writing complex sentences correctly and check for grammar consistency.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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