This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the relocation of industries. The main feedback highlights underdeveloped ideas and a need for more examples, which limited the overall effectiveness of the argument.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay presents a relevant argument but lacks sufficient development and examples. It falls short of the word count with 230 words instead of the required 250, which affects the Task Response score. Cohesion is handled relatively well, although some improvement in paragraph structure is needed. Lexical resources are adequate with some variety, but grammatical accuracy is somewhat inconsistent.
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In my opinion, it would be a nice idea of shifting large scale businesses and industries from urban to rural places .It would be a solution to problems like pollution, overpopulation, and congested areas in the big cities.
First of all , when big industries are far away from the cities, the pollution rates will go down tremendously. It will provide more job opportunities in the less developed areas where the majority of people are living below the line of poverty. It will reduce rents in the cities, which are overpriced just because more people want to live in cities. Everyone likes better opportunities and a better lifestyle. When they see that it is available in big cities where every facility is in access, they want to move towards cities.
I think every area of the country should be equally developed and advanced so that basic facilities should be provided to every citizen. Relocating big businesses and industries to urban areas will result in the development of those underprivileged areas. Not only businesses or industries, but universities should also be relocated to rural areas. It will result in less migration of students from their towns to big cities.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the point of relocating businesses and industries and their workers from urban places to rural areas. It would reduce traffic and housing problems in major cities.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
4 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| idea of shifting | idea of shifting | Fragment: 'idea of shifting' is missing 'the', so the phrase 'the idea of shifting' can be considered. |
| places .It | places. It | Punctuation: There should be a space after a period. |
| First of all , | First of all, | Punctuation: There should not be a space before a comma. |
| Relocating big businesses and industries to urban areas | Relocating big businesses and industries to rural areas | Logical error: The context suggests relocating to rural areas, not urban. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| big industries | large industries | Precision: 'large industries' is more precise than 'big industries' |
| far away | distant | Formality: 'distant' is a more formal alternative to 'far away'. |
| where every facility is in access | where every facility is accessible | Collocation: 'accessible' is more correct with 'facility'. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The candidate addresses the question but provides limited development of ideas and examples. The argument is concise yet underdeveloped.
Examples
For example, the essay mentions reduced pollution and increased job opportunities without further elaboration.
How to Improve
Expand on points made, providing examples, statistics, or hypothetical scenarios to reinforce the argument. Ensure the essay meets the minimum word count of 250 words.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is generally organized with clear ideas and logical progression. However, paragraphs could be better structured with more distinct topic sentences.
Examples
The first paragraph covers multiple ideas (pollution, employment, rent) without clear transitions or topic sentences.
How to Improve
Use topic sentences to introduce each main idea and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single point.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The vocabulary is adequate, with some varied language use. However, there is a lack of sophistication in word choices.
Examples
Words like 'big industries' and 'nice idea' could be replaced with more precise or formal alternatives.
How to Improve
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and more advanced or specific terms to express ideas more precisely.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
Sentence structures are mostly correct, but there are occasional errors in punctuation and grammar.
Examples
Mistakes include 'from urban to rural places .' (extra space before period), and the inconsistent use of articles.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules and pay attention to punctuation, especially spacing and article usage, to improve accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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