This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses urban relocation as a solution to traffic and housing issues. While it presents relevant points, there are significant clarity issues and repetitive ideas that hinder effective communication. Learn how to enhance your essay's depth and coherence to achieve a better score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
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Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (269 words) and addresses the prompt with a clear position. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. Coherence is affected by awkward phrasing and basic linking. Lexical resource is adequate but with several spelling and word choice errors. Grammatical range is basic with frequent errors that hinder clarity.
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In modern society people from most of cities facing with problems like traffic congestion and housing and good solution for this can be replacing large business and industries and their workers from urban areas to countryside. I strongly agree with this idea because it can reduce the cost of houses and overcrowding.
The main benefit of relocating large workplaces to rural areas is that it can reduce level of population in cities which also can adress the issue with traffic congestion. Many people live in cities mainly for work because they offer better opportunities and salary but such companies mostly located in cities which then cause overpopulation and traffics. Moreover, it can reduce the level of commutes that use public transports or cars everyday to reach their office. For this reason offering job opportunities can lower the pressure in cities.
Furthermore such changes can reduce reduce the price for housing. The increasing number of people who move in to cities from countryside can lead increasing price for renting which most people cannot afford. But if companies relocated to rural areas instead people can rent house much cheaper. Moreover it can also can be beneficial for companies itself because they can avoid high taxes even they cover large amount of place.
In conclusion, Changing locations of companies from urban areas to rural can be a best solution to tackle issues like traffic congestion and housing, because it can reduce cost significantly and prevent overcrowding in urban cities which can make it a long-term solution. I believe this cnhanges can bring positive outcomes and help people who cannot from lower societies.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| adress | address |
| cnhanges | changes |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| people from most of cities facing with problems | people in most cities face problems | Preposition error and incorrect verb form; 'facing with' should be 'face' or 'are facing'. |
| such companies mostly located in cities | such companies are mostly located in cities | Missing verb 'are' for passive voice. |
| which then cause overpopulation and traffics | which then causes overpopulation and traffic | Subject-verb agreement: 'which' refers to singular subject, and 'traffic' is uncountable. |
| it can reduce reduce the price for housing | it can reduce the price of housing | Repetition error and incorrect preposition; 'for' should be 'of'. |
| Moreover it can also can be beneficial | Moreover, it can also be beneficial | Redundant modal verb 'can' and missing comma after introductory phrase. |
| for companies itself | for companies themselves | Incorrect reflexive pronoun; 'itself' should be 'themselves' for plural. |
| even they cover large amount of place | even if they occupy a large amount of space | Missing conjunction 'if' and incorrect word choice; 'cover' should be 'occupy', and 'place' should be 'space'. |
| who cannot from lower societies | who are from lower socioeconomic backgrounds | Missing verb 'are' and vague phrase; improved for clarity. |
Vocabulary Improvements
13 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| good solution | effective solution | Vague; 'effective' is more precise for academic writing. |
| large business and industries | large businesses and industries | Informal pluralization; use standard plural forms for consistency. |
| countryside | rural areas | More formal and precise in the context of urban-rural relocation. |
| cost of houses | housing costs | Better collocation; 'housing costs' is standard in discussions of affordability. |
| traffics | traffic congestion | Incorrect use of plural; 'traffic' is uncountable, and 'congestion' specifies the issue. |
| public transports | public transportation | Uncountable noun; 'public transportation' is the standard term. |
| everyday | daily | Incorrect part of speech; 'everyday' is an adjective, use 'daily' as an adverb for frequency. |
| lower the pressure | alleviate pressure | Informal phrasing; 'alleviate' is more academic for reducing stress or burden. |
| price for housing | housing prices | Preposition error; 'housing prices' is the natural collocation. |
| move in to cities | move to cities | Phrasal verb usage; 'move to' is sufficient and correct for migration. |
| rent house much cheaper | rent houses at much lower costs | Informal and grammatically incorrect; improved for formality and clarity. |
| cover large amount of place | occupy large spaces | Vague and incorrect collocation; 'occupy space' is standard for describing area usage. |
| urban cities | urban areas | Redundant; 'cities' are inherently urban, so 'urban areas' is sufficient. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The response is relevant and presents a clear agreement with the prompt. Main points are introduced but not fully extended or supported with specific examples or evidence.
Examples
Benefits like reducing population, traffic congestion, and housing costs are mentioned, but the argument lacks depth. No counterarguments or detailed examples are provided.
How to Improve
Develop each point with concrete examples or data. Consider discussing potential drawbacks of relocation to show a balanced analysis. Ensure each paragraph explores one idea thoroughly.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow between ideas is sometimes disjointed, and cohesive devices are used inconsistently.
Examples
Paragraphs are present but could be better organized. For instance, the second body paragraph repeats ideas from the first. The phrase 'reduce reduce' indicates lack of proofreading. Linking words like 'furthermore' and 'moreover' are used but not always effectively.
How to Improve
Use a clear paragraph structure: one main idea per paragraph with topic sentences. Employ a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., however, in contrast, for instance) to improve flow. Proofread to avoid repetitions and ensure logical progression.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is sufficient for the task but with noticeable errors in spelling, word formation, and choice. Some words are used inaccurately, and there is repetition.
Examples
Misspellings: 'adress' for 'address', 'traffics' for 'traffic', 'cnhanges' for 'changes'. Awkward phrases: 'people who cannot from lower societies' likely means 'people from lower socio-economic groups'. Inaccurate word choice: 'commutes' instead of 'commuters'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning topic-related terms (e.g., urbanization, infrastructure, sustainability). Practice correct spelling and word forms. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find more precise language. Avoid repeating key words.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammar is limited with frequent errors that affect clarity. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there are issues with verb tenses, articles, prepositions, and sentence completeness.
Examples
Errors: 'people from most of cities facing with problems' should be 'people in most cities are facing problems'. 'it can reduce level of population' should be 'it can reduce the population level'. 'such companies mostly located in cities' should be 'such companies are mostly located in cities'. 'even they cover large amount of place' is unclear.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, articles (a, an, the), and prepositions. Practice writing complex sentences using relative clauses and conjunctions. Proofread carefully to correct errors and improve sentence structure.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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