Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Video Games Essay: Coherence Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published Feb 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ 325 words Β· Band 5.5
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This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses video games and their impact. While it presents both pros and cons, there are coherence issues and a lack of clarity in expressing the main argument. Discover ways to enhance your writing based on the AI evaluation feedback.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Video games Β· 40 min

Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment, or even a useful way to learn new skills. However, others argue that video games have a negative impact on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Write at least 250 words.



5.5 Band

Overall Band Score

325 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· AI Evaluated

6
Task Response
5.5
Coherence
5.5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
6
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Lexical Resource
5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5

Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (325 words). It addresses the task by presenting both benefits and drawbacks of video games, but the position is not consistently clear, and arguments lack depth. There are issues with organization, vocabulary errors, and grammatical inaccuracies that affect overall coherence and clarity.

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Student Answer
Real submission β€’ 325 words β€’ Annotated
325 words Band 5.5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

In today's modern world, technology has developed vastly, one such thing which has been introduced to cure boredom are Video games, which can be seen as an harmless form of entertainment or a medium to learn new skill but some disagree to this fact and argue that it has a negative impact on people. However, I belive otherwise, two arguments for the disagreement along with a counter argument are explaind in detail along with the conclusion.

Video games have been introduced since the time when computers started to become a key part in human life, and i disgree to the fact that this has a negative impact on people. The people who support this argumet are usually inspired by the media.
Media has been a source of information to many people, and false information does influence the audience in a negative way.
Video games cannot, only be a source of entertainment but also, help us in many other ways, one such example would be. A friend of mine who started gaming as a way to engage in an activity, is now a part of EA sports for which he is being paid for playing against other teams across the globe.
It is not necessary that every individual who gets into gaming can start earning but it can defenitly help us in sharpening our focus and increase our hand eye co-ordination.
However, on the other side prolonged gaming can have some adverse effects on our eyesight as well our posture. Some might avoid social interaction completely and focus only on gaming which can be called as a sort of addiction

All in all, it can be concluded that video games cannot be seen as a negative thing but can be considerd as a different form of entertainment, which is being put in a negative spotlight by the media. But at the end of the day toxic" title="Correction: anything, if consumed more than it should be, can be toxic">anything if consumed more than it should be can be toxic.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

6 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
belive believe
explaind explained
disgree disagree
argumet argument
defenitly definitely
considerd considered

Grammatical Mistakes

13 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
are Video games is video games Subject-verb agreement: 'one such thing' is singular, so verb should be 'is'
an harmless a harmless Article misuse: 'a' is used before consonant sounds like /h/
disagree to this fact disagree with this fact Preposition error: 'disagree' is followed by 'with'
I belive otherwise, two arguments I believe otherwise. Two arguments Run-on sentence: comma splice; use a period to separate independent clauses
i disgree I disagree Capitalization: first person pronoun 'I' must be capitalized
cannot, only be a source of entertainment but also, help can not only be a source of entertainment but also help Incorrect comma placement in correlative conjunction 'not only...but also'
would be. A friend would be a friend Sentence fragment: 'would be' should be followed directly by the example
for which he is being paid for playing for which he is paid to play Redundant preposition 'for'; use 'to play' for clarity
help us in sharpening our focus and increase help us sharpen our focus and increase Parallel structure: verbs should be in the same form; use infinitive 'sharpen' and 'increase'
as well our posture as well as our posture Incomplete phrase: 'as well as' is the correct conjunction
called as called 'Called' does not require 'as'; use 'called' or 'referred to as'
considered as considered 'Considered' typically does not require 'as' in this context
anything if consumed more than it should be can be toxic anything, if consumed more than it should be, can be toxic Missing commas for conditional clause; add commas to set off the conditional phrase

Vocabulary Improvements

17 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
vastly significantly 'Vastly' is somewhat informal; 'significantly' is more academic
cure boredom alleviate boredom 'Cure' is typically for diseases; 'alleviate' is more appropriate for boredom
disagree to this fact disagree with this view 'Fact' may be inaccurate; 'view' is better, and 'disagree with' is correct collocation
key part in human life integral part of human life 'Key part' is vague; 'integral part' is more precise
Media The media Use 'the media' for specificity
false information misinformation 'Misinformation' is a more precise term
A friend of mine For example, a friend Informal phrasing; use 'For example' to introduce examples formally
EA sports EA Sports Proper noun should be capitalized correctly
is now a part of is now part of 'Part of' does not require 'a' in this context
hand eye co-ordination hand-eye coordination Use hyphens for compound adjectives like 'hand-eye'
on the other side on the other hand Standard phrase for contrasting points
prolonged gaming excessive gaming 'Excessive' better conveys the negative connotation of overuse
a sort of addiction a form of addiction 'Sort of' is informal; 'form of' is more academic
All in all In conclusion Informal transition; use 'In conclusion' for academic writing
put in a negative spotlight portrayed negatively 'Put in a negative spotlight' is colloquial; 'portrayed negatively' is more formal
But at the end of the day However Informal idiom; use 'However' for formal contrast
toxic harmful 'Toxic' is informal in this context; 'harmful' is more appropriate

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 6
Evaluation
The essay responds to the prompt but does not fully develop a clear position. While the writer states a belief that video games are not negative, the arguments are simplistic and not thoroughly evaluated. The conclusion acknowledges both sides without a decisive weighing of drawbacks versus benefits.
Examples
The introduction mentions 'I belive otherwise' but does not explicitly state whether drawbacks outweigh benefits. The body discusses a personal anecdote about a friend working for EA Sports and general benefits like sharpening focus, but drawbacks are briefly mentioned without detailed analysis.
How to Improve
Clearly state your opinion in the introduction (e.g., 'In my opinion, the benefits of video games outweigh the drawbacks'). Develop each argument with specific examples, evidence, and explanation. Ensure a balanced analysis by directly comparing benefits and drawbacks before concluding.
Coherence and Cohesion 5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but paragraphing is inadequate, and ideas are not logically organized. Cohesive devices are used but sometimes ineffectively, leading to awkward transitions.
Examples
The introduction is a single run-on sentence. The body paragraph jumps from media influence to benefits without clear topic sentences. The drawback is introduced with 'However, on the other side' but is not separated into a new paragraph, affecting flow.
How to Improve
Use separate paragraphs for each main idea: one for benefits, one for drawbacks, and a clear conclusion. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'Consequently') to link ideas smoothly.
Lexical Resource 5.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic but includes spelling errors and imprecise word choices. The range is limited, with some repetition.
Examples
Misspellings: 'belive' (believe), 'disgree' (disagree), 'argumet' (argument), 'defenitly' (definitely), 'considerd' (considered). Imprecise phrasing: 'cure boredom' could be 'alleviate boredom' or 'provide entertainment.'
How to Improve
Proofread carefully to correct spelling errors. Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and topic-specific terms (e.g., 'cognitive skills,' 'social isolation,' 'moderation'). Use a dictionary or thesaurus to improve word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors that hinder clarity, including subject-verb agreement, punctuation mistakes, and sentence structure issues. The range of sentence structures is limited.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'one such thing... are Video games' should be 'is.' Punctuation: 'Video games cannot, only be' has an unnecessary comma. Sentence fragment: 'Media has been a source of information to many people, and false information does influence the audience in a negative way.' is awkwardly connected. Parallelism error: 'sharpening our focus and increase' should be 'increasing.'
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and comma usage. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses (e.g., 'Although video games can be addictive, they also offer educational benefits.'). Use grammar check tools and seek feedback on sentence structure.
πŸ’‘
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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