This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses video games and their impact. While it presents both pros and cons, there are coherence issues and a lack of clarity in expressing the main argument. Discover ways to enhance your writing based on the AI evaluation feedback.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Video games Β· 40 min
Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment, or even a useful way to learn new skills. However, others argue that video games have a negative impact on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (325 words). It addresses the task by presenting both benefits and drawbacks of video games, but the position is not consistently clear, and arguments lack depth. There are issues with organization, vocabulary errors, and grammatical inaccuracies that affect overall coherence and clarity.
Now write your own β and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Video games essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar β plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
In today's modern world, technology has developed vastly, one such thing which has been introduced to cure boredom are Video games, which can be seen as an harmless form of entertainment or a medium to learn new skill but some disagree to this fact and argue that it has a negative impact on people. However, I belive otherwise, two arguments for the disagreement along with a counter argument are explaind in detail along with the conclusion.
Video games have been introduced since the time when computers started to become a key part in human life, and i disgree to the fact that this has a negative impact on people. The people who support this argumet are usually inspired by the media.
Media has been a source of information to many people, and false information does influence the audience in a negative way.
Video games cannot, only be a source of entertainment but also, help us in many other ways, one such example would be. A friend of mine who started gaming as a way to engage in an activity, is now a part of EA sports for which he is being paid for playing against other teams across the globe.
It is not necessary that every individual who gets into gaming can start earning but it can defenitly help us in sharpening our focus and increase our hand eye co-ordination.
However, on the other side prolonged gaming can have some adverse effects on our eyesight as well our posture. Some might avoid social interaction completely and focus only on gaming which can be called as a sort of addiction
All in all, it can be concluded that video games cannot be seen as a negative thing but can be considerd as a different form of entertainment, which is being put in a negative spotlight by the media. But at the end of the day toxic" title="Correction: anything, if consumed more than it should be, can be toxic">anything if consumed more than it should be can be toxic.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| belive | believe |
| explaind | explained |
| disgree | disagree |
| argumet | argument |
| defenitly | definitely |
| considerd | considered |
Grammatical Mistakes
13 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| are Video games | is video games | Subject-verb agreement: 'one such thing' is singular, so verb should be 'is' |
| an harmless | a harmless | Article misuse: 'a' is used before consonant sounds like /h/ |
| disagree to this fact | disagree with this fact | Preposition error: 'disagree' is followed by 'with' |
| I belive otherwise, two arguments | I believe otherwise. Two arguments | Run-on sentence: comma splice; use a period to separate independent clauses |
| i disgree | I disagree | Capitalization: first person pronoun 'I' must be capitalized |
| cannot, only be a source of entertainment but also, help | can not only be a source of entertainment but also help | Incorrect comma placement in correlative conjunction 'not only...but also' |
| would be. A friend | would be a friend | Sentence fragment: 'would be' should be followed directly by the example |
| for which he is being paid for playing | for which he is paid to play | Redundant preposition 'for'; use 'to play' for clarity |
| help us in sharpening our focus and increase | help us sharpen our focus and increase | Parallel structure: verbs should be in the same form; use infinitive 'sharpen' and 'increase' |
| as well our posture | as well as our posture | Incomplete phrase: 'as well as' is the correct conjunction |
| called as | called | 'Called' does not require 'as'; use 'called' or 'referred to as' |
| considered as | considered | 'Considered' typically does not require 'as' in this context |
| anything if consumed more than it should be can be toxic | anything, if consumed more than it should be, can be toxic | Missing commas for conditional clause; add commas to set off the conditional phrase |
Vocabulary Improvements
17 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| vastly | significantly | 'Vastly' is somewhat informal; 'significantly' is more academic |
| cure boredom | alleviate boredom | 'Cure' is typically for diseases; 'alleviate' is more appropriate for boredom |
| disagree to this fact | disagree with this view | 'Fact' may be inaccurate; 'view' is better, and 'disagree with' is correct collocation |
| key part in human life | integral part of human life | 'Key part' is vague; 'integral part' is more precise |
| Media | The media | Use 'the media' for specificity |
| false information | misinformation | 'Misinformation' is a more precise term |
| A friend of mine | For example, a friend | Informal phrasing; use 'For example' to introduce examples formally |
| EA sports | EA Sports | Proper noun should be capitalized correctly |
| is now a part of | is now part of | 'Part of' does not require 'a' in this context |
| hand eye co-ordination | hand-eye coordination | Use hyphens for compound adjectives like 'hand-eye' |
| on the other side | on the other hand | Standard phrase for contrasting points |
| prolonged gaming | excessive gaming | 'Excessive' better conveys the negative connotation of overuse |
| a sort of addiction | a form of addiction | 'Sort of' is informal; 'form of' is more academic |
| All in all | In conclusion | Informal transition; use 'In conclusion' for academic writing |
| put in a negative spotlight | portrayed negatively | 'Put in a negative spotlight' is colloquial; 'portrayed negatively' is more formal |
| But at the end of the day | However | Informal idiom; use 'However' for formal contrast |
| toxic | harmful | 'Toxic' is informal in this context; 'harmful' is more appropriate |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Video games essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria β with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay responds to the prompt but does not fully develop a clear position. While the writer states a belief that video games are not negative, the arguments are simplistic and not thoroughly evaluated. The conclusion acknowledges both sides without a decisive weighing of drawbacks versus benefits.
Examples
The introduction mentions 'I belive otherwise' but does not explicitly state whether drawbacks outweigh benefits. The body discusses a personal anecdote about a friend working for EA Sports and general benefits like sharpening focus, but drawbacks are briefly mentioned without detailed analysis.
How to Improve
Clearly state your opinion in the introduction (e.g., 'In my opinion, the benefits of video games outweigh the drawbacks'). Develop each argument with specific examples, evidence, and explanation. Ensure a balanced analysis by directly comparing benefits and drawbacks before concluding.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but paragraphing is inadequate, and ideas are not logically organized. Cohesive devices are used but sometimes ineffectively, leading to awkward transitions.
Examples
The introduction is a single run-on sentence. The body paragraph jumps from media influence to benefits without clear topic sentences. The drawback is introduced with 'However, on the other side' but is not separated into a new paragraph, affecting flow.
How to Improve
Use separate paragraphs for each main idea: one for benefits, one for drawbacks, and a clear conclusion. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'Consequently') to link ideas smoothly.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic but includes spelling errors and imprecise word choices. The range is limited, with some repetition.
Examples
Misspellings: 'belive' (believe), 'disgree' (disagree), 'argumet' (argument), 'defenitly' (definitely), 'considerd' (considered). Imprecise phrasing: 'cure boredom' could be 'alleviate boredom' or 'provide entertainment.'
How to Improve
Proofread carefully to correct spelling errors. Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and topic-specific terms (e.g., 'cognitive skills,' 'social isolation,' 'moderation'). Use a dictionary or thesaurus to improve word choice.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors that hinder clarity, including subject-verb agreement, punctuation mistakes, and sentence structure issues. The range of sentence structures is limited.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'one such thing... are Video games' should be 'is.' Punctuation: 'Video games cannot, only be' has an unnecessary comma. Sentence fragment: 'Media has been a source of information to many people, and false information does influence the audience in a negative way.' is awkwardly connected. Parallelism error: 'sharpening our focus and increase' should be 'increasing.'
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and comma usage. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses (e.g., 'Although video games can be addictive, they also offer educational benefits.'). Use grammar check tools and seek feedback on sentence structure.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
Many people hold different opinions regarding living alone.Some people want to live alone as they wanted to spend their lives on their own terms.If they live al...
02
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
In few nations, nowadays many people are choosing to stay alone than before. From my perspective, it is a positive development because a man can live independen...
03
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
People preferred to live alone these days than before is because they are many factors before making a decision to move out. For the present generation, the wo...
04
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
It is often observed in several nations that people are choosing to live in solitude, as compared to the people before. I belived that this a positive developme...
05
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.ο»Ώο»Ώ
Many people used to say that moving geant organistion and firms with their employees far the cities can resolve problems with trafic and accomodation in large t...