This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the negative aspects of living alone. Key feedback focuses on the underdeveloped arguments and coherence issues that hinder clarity. Understanding these points can help enhance your writing skills for IELTS Writing Task 2.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Living Alone · 40 min
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (259 words) and addresses the question by taking a clear position that living alone is a negative development. However, the response is simplistic, with limited development of ideas, repetitive reasoning, and insufficient supporting details. The example about Japan is relevant but not fully explored. The essay lacks depth, counter-arguments, and nuanced analysis, which prevents a higher score. Overall band 5 reflects these limitations across all criteria.
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In the present world, most of the people are comfortable living alone. In my opinion, living alone is not good for human beings, because they are part of society.
To begin with, a huge number of people who are comfortable in the present situation are alone, because day by day, fraudulent people are increasing in our society. Being alone, that is a negative development, because humans are social beings, and we are interrelated or interconnected to each other. If we are disconnected from each other, then the social structure will fall, and human emotions will decrease in the future. That will lead to the creation of bad people in our society.
Moreover, individuals in some of the countries are living alone these day than before. If we look at Japan, for example, a huge number of people like to live alone; for this reason, we saw in the news a lot of people died in their flat, no one knew about their situation, after a month or even a year, the police or administration rescue their dead body from the flat. If they are interconnected, then this situation can not happen.
Finally, in my personal opinion, if individualism increases in the future, then selfish people will increase, as they do not think about others and also about society, and even the country. That will create a negative effect on our whole world in the future; we did not get it now. So as human beings, we must be intimate with others, which will create a good and healthy world.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
3 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| these day | these days | Plural form needed: 'day' should be 'days' to match 'these'. |
| the police or administration rescue their dead body | the police or administration rescued their dead body | Verb tense inconsistency: 'rescue' should be past tense 'rescued' to match the narrative past. |
| we did not get it now | we do not see it now | Tense mismatch: 'did not get' is past but 'now' indicates present; also replaced informal 'get' with 'see' for clarity. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| bad people | immoral individuals | Informal and vague; 'immoral individuals' is more precise and academic. |
| a lot of people | many people | Informal phrasing; 'many people' is more suitable for academic writing. |
| intimate with others | connected with others | 'Intimate' often implies romantic or close personal relationships; 'connected' is broader and more appropriate in this context of social bonds. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion (negative development), but the argument is underdeveloped. The points about social structure, the Japan example, and individualism are mentioned but not elaborated persuasively. The response is repetitive and lacks a balanced view or deeper exploration of the topic.
Examples
The writer states 'Being alone, that is a negative development, because humans are social beings' without explaining why social connection is essential or providing specific evidence. The Japan example is given but not connected to broader trends or statistics.
How to Improve
To improve, expand each point with specific examples, data, or logical reasoning. Consider discussing both positive and negative aspects to show a balanced view, then justify your position. Use real-world studies or more detailed scenarios to strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions are limited to simple markers like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'Finally'. There is little use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'on the other hand', 'as a result'), and ideas within paragraphs are not always logically connected.
Examples
The sentence 'If we are disconnected from each other, then the social structure will fall, and human emotions will decrease in the future' jumps from social structure to emotions without clear linkage. The conclusion repeats earlier points rather than synthesizing them.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast'). Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that supporting sentences follow a logical order. Practice outlining before writing to improve flow.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Words like 'living alone', 'people', and 'society' are used excessively. Some expressions are awkward or slightly inaccurate (e.g., 'comfortable living alone' instead of 'comfortable with living alone', 'we did not get it now'). There is little use of less common or topic-specific vocabulary.
Examples
The phrase 'fraudulent people are increasing in our society' is vague. 'Interrelated or interconnected to each other' is redundant. 'Good and healthy world' is a simplistic collocation.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by reading IELTS sample essays and noting topic-specific terms (e.g., 'social isolation', 'autonomy', 'communal bonds'). Practice paraphrasing key ideas and using synonyms. Avoid repetition by varying sentence structures.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay uses mainly simple and compound sentences with occasional errors. There are issues with prepositions, articles, and sentence construction (e.g., 'most of the people are comfortable living alone' missing 'with'; 'Being alone, that is a negative development' is a comma splice). There is little use of complex structures such as conditionals or relative clauses.
Examples
'If they are interconnected, then this situation can not happen' – correct but basic. 'So as human beings, we must be intimate with others' – 'intimate' is inappropriate here (should be 'connected' or 'close'). 'we did not get it now' – unclear tense and meaning.
How to Improve
Practice writing more complex sentences using subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Although living alone offers independence, it can lead to social isolation'). Review common grammar points: prepositions after adjectives, article usage, and subject-verb agreement. Proofread to catch awkward phrasing.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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