This Band 5 IELTS opinion essay discusses the appeal of becoming an online content creator. While the response addresses the topic, it suffers from inconsistencies in argumentation and various grammar errors that hinder clarity. Understanding these key feedback points can significantly enhance your writing skills.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Electronic Devices · 40 min
Many young people now aspire to become online content creators instead of pursuing traditional careers. Some believe this is a positive career choice for the younger generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 250 words and addresses the topic, but the argument is inconsistent and underdeveloped. While a position is presented, the conclusion contradicts it by suggesting content creation should only be a side career. Language errors in spelling, grammar, and vocabulary reduce clarity and coherence.
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Numerous young adults aspire to become online content creators rather than focusing on traditional careers such as doctors,lawyers and archithet.Some argue this to be a creative and positive career to the youth while some believe it to be a disadvantage tool to success.I agree to this as it is a beneficial career to pursue.
Firstly,online conent creators provide crucial information while entertainting the public through social media platforms.News are being shared and disscussed to the public through content creating.This is also a structure to meet different people from all over the world ,whereas also solving financial problems.Additionally,Talent and some gadget such as phone,tripod and data to surf the internet is the only essential tool become a content creator which does not primarily require exploring through educational phases and it provides easy access to get financial stability once fame is achieved.Young adults believe the funds derive from this is huge and hence the income attend ro their needs.
On the other hand,Traditional careers such as Doctors requires educational learning and excersing some year to achieve result and certificate whereas most young adults find it difficult to study hard and devote time.Content creating diminish the time young people extend to studying.
In conclusion,there are benefit of aspiring to become a content ceator which should only be considered as a side career not the main traditionalm careers that is needed for the economic growth and development.I strongly agree the path creating content to be beneficial tool and a career the young should implement.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
8 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| archithet | architects |
| conent | content |
| entertainting | entertaining |
| disscussed | discussed |
| excersing | requiring |
| traditionalm | traditional |
| ceator | creator |
| ro | to |
Grammatical Mistakes
14 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| News are being shared | News is being shared | Subject-verb agreement; 'news' is uncountable and takes singular verb. |
| disscussed to the public | discussed with the public | Preposition error; 'discussed' typically takes 'with' or 'among'. |
| a structure to meet | an opportunity to meet | Incorrect word choice; 'structure' is not appropriate here. |
| whereas also solving financial problems. | while also solving financial problems | Incomplete sentence; needs to be connected properly. |
| Talent and some gadget ... is the only essential tool | Talent and some gadgets ... are the only essential tools | Subject-verb agreement and pluralization; compound subject requires plural verb, and 'gadget' should be plural. |
| the funds derive from this is huge | the funds derived from this are huge | Verb form error; 'derived' should be past participle, and subject-verb agreement for 'funds are'. |
| the income attend ro their needs | the income attends to their needs | Verb form and preposition; 'attends to' means addresses or meets. |
| Traditional careers such as Doctors requires | Traditional careers, such as doctors, require | Capitalization error and subject-verb agreement; 'careers' is plural, so 'require', and 'doctors' should not be capitalized. |
| excersing some year | requiring some years | Incorrect verb and noun form; should be 'requiring' and 'years' plural. |
| Content creating diminish | Content creation diminishes | Subject-verb agreement; 'content creation' is singular, so 'diminishes'. |
| extend to studying | spend on studying | Incorrect verb; 'extend' is not appropriate here, use 'spend' or 'devote'. |
| there are benefit | there are benefits | Noun number agreement; 'benefit' should be plural. |
| that is needed for the economic growth | that are needed for economic growth | Subject-verb agreement; 'careers' is plural, so 'are needed', and remove 'the' for smoother phrasing. |
| I strongly agree the path creating content to be beneficial tool | I strongly agree that the path of creating content is a beneficial tool | Missing conjunction and article; 'agree that' is standard, and 'a beneficial tool' requires an article. |
Vocabulary Improvements
14 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| disadvantage tool | hindrance to success | Incorrect collocation; 'disadvantage' is not typically used with 'tool'. |
| positive career to the youth | rewarding career for the youth | Preposition error and vague; 'for' is correct, and 'rewarding' is more precise. |
| gadget | devices | Informal; 'devices' is more appropriate in formal writing. |
| data to surf the internet | internet data | Vague phrasing; 'internet data' is clearer. |
| exploring through educational phases | undergoing formal education | Awkward and vague; more precise term. |
| get financial stability | achieve financial stability | Informal verb; 'achieve' is more formal. |
| funds derive from this | income derived from this | 'Funds' might be less specific; 'income' is better for earnings. |
| income attend ro their needs | income meets their needs | Incorrect verb; 'meets' is more appropriate. |
| educational learning | formal education | Redundant; 'educational' and 'learning' overlap. |
| result and certificate | qualifications and certifications | Vague; more precise terms. |
| diminish the time | reduce the time spent | 'Diminish' is less common for time; 'reduce' is better. |
| extend to studying | devote to studying | Incorrect collocation; 'devote time to' is standard. |
| side career | secondary career | 'Side career' is informal; 'secondary career' is more formal. |
| implement | pursue | Incorrect collocation; careers are pursued, not implemented. |
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Task Response
5.5
Evaluation
The writer expresses agreement that online content creation is a positive career choice, but the development is limited. The argument is weakened by a contradictory statement in the conclusion, which recommends it as a side career rather than a main one. Some points, such as solving financial problems, are not elaborated.
Examples
In the introduction, the writer states, 'I agree to this as it is a beneficial career to pursue.' However, the conclusion says, 'should only be considered as a side career not the main traditionalm careers.' This inconsistency shows a lack of clear position.
How to Improve
Clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. Develop each paragraph with specific reasons and examples. Avoid adding qualifiers that contradict your main argument. Ensure all points directly support your thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but the flow of ideas is disjointed. Paragraphs are not logically organized, and cohesive devices are minimal. Spelling errors further disrupt readability.
Examples
The first body paragraph jumps from providing information and entertainment to meeting people and solving financial problems without clear connections. Transitions like 'whereas' are used incorrectly. Paragraph breaks are present but not effectively used to separate ideas.
How to Improve
Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea. Employ linking words (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'in addition') to connect sentences and paragraphs. Proofread to correct spelling errors that impede cohesion.
Lexical Resource
5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is repetitive and contains frequent spelling errors, which reduce precision and sophistication. Some word choices are inaccurate, and the range is limited to basic terms.
Examples
Misspellings such as 'archithet' (architects), 'conent' (content), 'entertainting' (entertaining), and 'disscussed' (discussed). Awkward phrases like 'the income attend ro their needs' (attends to their needs) and 'diminish the time young people extend to studying.'
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading widely and using a dictionary. Practice spelling common words. Use more specific and varied vocabulary related to careers and technology. Avoid repetitive phrases and aim for more natural expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
4.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent and affect clarity. Issues include incorrect subject-verb agreement, missing articles, awkward sentence structures, and tense inconsistencies. Sentences are often simple and poorly constructed.
Examples
'News are being shared' should be 'news is being shared.' 'Talent and some gadget such as phone,tripod and data to surf the internet is the only essential tool become a content creator' has multiple errors: subject-verb agreement ('gadget is' vs. 'gadgets are'), missing articles ('a phone'), and incorrect infinitive ('to become'). 'I agree to this' should be 'I agree with this.'
How to Improve
Focus on foundational grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb tenses. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Consider using grammar check tools or seeking feedback.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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