Achieving a Band 5 on the IELTS requires clear communication of ideas, especially in essays like this one discussing parents as teachers. This essay reflects some challenges in language use and structure, including repetitive points and grammatical mistakes. Understanding these areas can help improve future writings.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Children · 40 min
Parents serve as the best teachers for their children. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the reasons for your stance and support it with examples.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 260 words and addresses the topic by agreeing that parents are the best teachers. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive, with basic vocabulary and frequent grammatical errors. The structure is present but cohesion is weakened by language issues.
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In recent years, there have been on going questions about wheather the parents are the good teachers of their children or not.Personally, i strongly agree with this sitiuation and the reason of my opinion are given below.
Firstly, everyone has his own opinions about this particular topic.I support" title="Correction: However, I support">However i support this idea that parents are the best teachers of their children because, parents have a specific role for educating their child and providing them with differences between the good and bad and the right and wrong.As , they play an important role in providing them with all the facilties and teaching them the manners of how to behave infront of other peoples.
For instance, whenever the whole family goes to some events like birthday parties, wedding ceremony and funeral the parents are the only source of providing them the manners how to behave on different events.Furthurmore, they teach how to cope with difficulties like strees, anxiety, depression and bad times in life.In addition, they also educate us how to make a particular friend in life weather it is a good or bad one and they also give us clothes and food and they provide us with all facilities of life.
In conclusion, i strongly agree that parents are the best teachers for their childrens as parents provide their children with all the facilities and educate them properly. In fact, they prepare them how to face the world bravely and how to face difficulties of life with courage as these all facts are true and real so they have thier own benefits.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
12 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| on going | ongoing |
| wheather | whether |
| sitiuation | situation |
| i | I |
| facilties | facilities |
| infront | in front |
| peoples | people |
| Furthurmore | Furthermore |
| strees | stress |
| weather | whether |
| childrens | children |
| thier | their |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the reason of my opinion are given below | the reason for my opinion is given below | Subject-verb agreement: 'reason' is singular, so 'is' should be used. Also, preposition 'of' is incorrect; use 'for'. |
| However i support | However, I support | Missing comma after 'However' and capitalization of 'I'. |
| because, parents have | because parents have | Unnecessary comma after subordinating conjunction 'because'. |
| educating their child | educating their children | Pronoun-antecedent agreement: 'their' implies plural, so 'children' should be plural. |
| teaching them the manners of how to behave | teaching them how to behave | Redundant phrasing: 'manners of' is unnecessary and awkward. |
| whenever the whole family goes to some events like birthday parties, wedding ceremony and funeral | whenever the whole family goes to events like birthday parties, wedding ceremonies, and funerals | Plural consistency: 'ceremony' and 'funeral' should be plural to match 'parties'. Also, use Oxford comma for list punctuation. |
| they teach how to cope | they teach them how to cope | Missing indirect object: 'them' is needed for clarity. |
| they also educate us how to make a particular friend | they also teach them how to choose friends | Pronoun inconsistency: 'us' should be 'them' for consistency. Also, 'make a particular friend' is unclear; 'choose friends' is better. |
Vocabulary Improvements
10 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| on going questions | ongoing debates | Vague and informal; 'ongoing debates' is more precise and academic. |
| the good teachers | good teachers | Unnecessary definite article; omit 'the' for general statements. |
| the reason of my opinion | the reasons for my view | Incorrect preposition and vague; 'reasons for my view' is more formal and accurate. |
| differences between the good and bad and the right and wrong | distinctions between good and evil and right and wrong | Informal and redundant; 'distinctions' is more precise, and remove 'the' for general concepts. |
| all the facilities | all necessities | 'Facilities' often refers to physical buildings or equipment; 'necessities' is better for basic needs. |
| manners of how to behave | social etiquette | Redundant and informal; 'social etiquette' is a more academic term. |
| bad times | hardships | Vague and informal; 'hardships' is more precise. |
| make a particular friend | choose friends | Informal and unclear; 'choose friends' is clearer and more appropriate. |
| give us clothes and food | provide them with clothing and food | 'Give' is informal; 'provide' is more formal, and 'clothing' is better than 'clothes' in academic writing. |
| face the world bravely | confront the world courageously | Slightly informal; 'confront' and 'courageously' are more formal alternatives. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The position is clear (agreeing), and reasons with examples are provided. However, the ideas are not fully developed; examples are listed without elaboration, and the conclusion merely restates the introduction.
Examples
For instance, the essay mentions parents teaching manners at events like birthday parties and coping with difficulties like stress, but these points are not expanded with detailed explanations or personal experiences.
How to Improve
Develop each reason with specific, detailed examples. Explain how parents teach values or skills, and discuss potential counterarguments to show depth of thought.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, linking words are sometimes misused or missing, and paragraph transitions are awkward. Some sentences are poorly connected.
Examples
'However i support this idea' lacks a comma after 'However'. The flow from the first paragraph to the second is abrupt. Paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear focus.
How to Improve
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, in addition, however) correctly. Ensure each paragraph has one central idea and use topic sentences to guide the reader.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with several spelling errors. Word choice is often imprecise, and there is limited use of topic-specific or advanced lexical items.
Examples
Misspellings: 'wheather' for 'whether', 'sitiuation' for 'situation', 'facilties' for 'facilities', 'childrens' for 'children', 'strees' for 'stress'. Imprecise phrases: 'differences between the good and bad'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and collocations related to education and family. Proofread for spelling errors and use a dictionary to ensure accuracy.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout, including subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure issues. Sentences are mostly simple, with limited complex structures.
Examples
'the reason of my opinion are given' (should be 'the reasons for my opinion are given' or 'the reason is given'). 'As , they play' has an incorrect comma. 'Personally, i strongly agree' uses lowercase 'i'.
How to Improve
Practice forming complex sentences with clauses. Focus on accuracy in verb tenses, articles, and prepositions. Proofread carefully to correct punctuation and capitalization errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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