Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Relocating Businesses: Clarity and Cohesion Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published Jun 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ 314 words Β· Band 5
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This band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas. While it attempts to address urban traffic and housing issues, clarity and cohesion are significant concerns. Frequent grammatical errors and underdeveloped arguments also hinder the overall quality, making it a valuable example for IELTS students aiming for improvement.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min


Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write at least 250 words.
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5 Band

Overall Band Score

314 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· AI Evaluated

5.5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical Resource
4.5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
4.5

Summary: Hello User, the essay addresses the prompt about relocating businesses to rural areas to address urban issues but lacks clarity and cohesion. There are frequent grammatical errors and limited lexical range which affect comprehension. The response partially develops a relevant position, but more depth and balance are needed.

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Student Answer
Real submission β€’ 314 words β€’ Annotated
314 words Band 5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

In recent years, it has been suggested that moving large companies, factories, and their employees from cities to the countryside could help alleviate traffic congestion and housing shortages in major urban areas. I completely agree" title="Correction: I completely agree">i fully agree with this veiw, although i believe it may also create certain challenges.
Firstly, it is widely believed that moving huge factories with employees to roral areas. It is wonderful idea for everyone. Because, now a days plenty of people suffered from traffic congestion. As a consequences, this situation emerge big problems to people daily life. take a japan, which is the one of the developed country in the world. in there SHibuya crossing station and by the fact in there 1 thousand people crossed. Neverthless, never have individuals encounter traffic jam. This maintain reason is, the govrenment have decided under factories to moving rural areas. Therefore, mostly people rarely come across traffic jam and for employees so easy to go their job
Secondly, there is no doubt that, large companies and their workers moving to countryside. it is best solution for the issues of cram. Which is why, today, plenty of companise produce more vehicals this caused by large problem. these people always late their job or many cars face accident. As a result this circumstances negative impact on humans of life. As an example, in Korea mostly people harm these problems. However, at the end of 2025 govrenment of Korea have created low this if factories and large companies work in urban areas,they will be deprived their license.Hence. if we utilised this option,individuals would have never came across car traffics or accidents
In conclusion, although relocating major businesses and their employees to rural areas could help reduce traffic congestion and ease housing pressure in large cities, i believe that this measure should be implemented cautiously, as it may also give rise to number of social and economic challenges.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

8 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
veiw view
i I
roral rural
govrenment government
Neverthless Nevertheless
companise companies
vehicals vehicles
govrenment government

Grammatical Mistakes

9 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
It is wonderful idea It is a wonderful idea Article misuse: 'a' is needed before 'wonderful idea'
As a consequences As a consequence Subject-verb agreement: 'consequence' is singular
this situation emerge big problems this situation emerges big problems Subject-verb agreement: 'situation' is singular, 'emerges' is the correct form
take a japan, which is the one of the developed country take Japan, which is one of the developed countries Article and plurality misuse
in there 1 thousand people crossed there 1 thousand people cross Verb tense and location marker misuse
Neverthless, never have individuals encounter traffic jam Nevertheless, individuals never encounter traffic jams Subject-verb agreement and word order
to moving to move Infinitive form misuse
this caused by large problem this is caused by a large problem Missing auxiliary verb and article misuse
at the end of 2025 govrenment of Korea have created low this by the end of 2025, the government of Korea will create a law for this Incorrect verb tense and article misuse

Vocabulary Improvements

6 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
i fully agree I completely agree Informal language: 'completely' is a more formal alternative
now a days nowadays Incorrect phrase
it is best solution for the issues of cram it is the best solution for overcrowding issues Informal language and incorrect phrase
mostly people most people Wrong collocation: 'most people' is the correct usage
face accident encounter accidents Wrong collocation: 'encounter accidents' is the correct academic collocation
harm these problems are affected by these problems Incorrect phrase

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task and presents a position on relocating businesses to rural areas. However, the argument lacks depth and some ideas are underdeveloped, with only partial exploration of the challenges involved.
Examples
Mentions traffic congestion and housing issues, and suggests that moving companies to rural areas is a good idea.
How to Improve
To improve, provide more balanced development of ideas, with specific examples of social and economic challenges that may arise.
Coherence and Cohesion 5
Evaluation
The essay displays a logical organization but with lapses in the clarity of ideas and paragraphing. Transitions between ideas are abrupt.
Examples
The transition from traffic congestion to accidents is not smooth, and separate points are confused within paragraphs.
How to Improve
Improve coherence by structuring paragraphs clearly with a single main idea, and use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas smoothly.
Lexical Resource 5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary. There are notable spelling mistakes and inappropriate word choices.
Examples
Words like 'roral' instead of 'rural', 'veiw' instead of 'view', and phrases like 'produce more vehicles this caused by large problem'.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary to include less common lexical items, and pay attention to correct spelling to better express precise meanings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 4.5
Evaluation
There are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, and punctuation. These detract from the clarity of the writing.
Examples
Errors such as 'take a Japan', 'never have individuals encounter', 'have created low this'.
How to Improve
Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and verb tenses. Practice writing complex sentences accurately and use punctuation correctly.
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Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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