Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Relocating Businesses: Clarity and Cohesion Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

📅 Published Jun 2026⏱️ 40 minutes recommended📝 314 words · Band 5
This band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas. While it attempts to address urban traffic and housing issues, clarity and cohesion are significant concerns. Frequent grammatical errors and underdeveloped arguments also hinder the overall quality, making it a valuable example for IELTS students aiming for improvement.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min


Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write at least 250 words.





5Band

Overall Band Score

314 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · AI Evaluated

5.5
Task Response
4.5
Grammar
5
Vocabulary
5
Coherence

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Overall Band Score
5
Task Response
5.5
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
4.5
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
5
Coherence & Cohesion
5

Summary: Hello User, the essay addresses the prompt about relocating businesses to rural areas to address urban issues but lacks clarity and cohesion. There are frequent grammatical errors and limited lexical range which affect comprehension. The response partially develops a relevant position, but more depth and balance are needed.

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Student Answer
Real submission • 314 words • Annotated
314 wordsBand 5WritingPart2
● Spelling● Grammar● Vocabulary

In recent years, it has been suggested that moving large companies, factories, and their employees from cities to the countryside could help alleviate traffic congestion and housing shortages in major urban areas. I completely agree" title="Correction: I completely agree">i fully agree with this veiw, although i believe it may also create certain challenges.
Firstly, it is widely believed that moving huge factories with employees to roral areas. It is wonderful idea for everyone. Because, now a days plenty of people suffered from traffic congestion. As a consequences, this situation emerge big problems to people daily life. take a japan, which is the one of the developed country in the world. in there SHibuya crossing station and by the fact in there 1 thousand people crossed. Neverthless, never have individuals encounter traffic jam. This maintain reason is, the govrenment have decided under factories to moving rural areas. Therefore, mostly people rarely come across traffic jam and for employees so easy to go their job
Secondly, there is no doubt that, large companies and their workers moving to countryside. it is best solution for the issues of cram. Which is why, today, plenty of companise produce more vehicals this caused by large problem. these people always late their job or many cars face accident. As a result this circumstances negative impact on humans of life. As an example, in Korea mostly people harm these problems. However, at the end of 2025 govrenment of Korea have created low this if factories and large companies work in urban areas,they will be deprived their license.Hence. if we utilised this option,individuals would have never came across car traffics or accidents
In conclusion, although relocating major businesses and their employees to rural areas could help reduce traffic congestion and ease housing pressure in large cities, i believe that this measure should be implemented cautiously, as it may also give rise to number of social and economic challenges.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

8 errors
Misspelled WordCorrected Word
veiwview
iI
roralrural
govrenmentgovernment
NeverthlessNevertheless
companisecompanies
vehicalsvehicles
govrenmentgovernment

Grammatical Mistakes

9 errors
MistakeCorrectionExplanation
It is wonderful ideaIt is a wonderful ideaArticle misuse: 'a' is needed before 'wonderful idea'
As a consequencesAs a consequenceSubject-verb agreement: 'consequence' is singular
this situation emerge big problemsthis situation emerges big problemsSubject-verb agreement: 'situation' is singular, 'emerges' is the correct form
take a japan, which is the one of the developed countrytake Japan, which is one of the developed countriesArticle and plurality misuse
in there 1 thousand people crossedthere 1 thousand people crossVerb tense and location marker misuse
Neverthless, never have individuals encounter traffic jamNevertheless, individuals never encounter traffic jamsSubject-verb agreement and word order
to movingto moveInfinitive form misuse
this caused by large problemthis is caused by a large problemMissing auxiliary verb and article misuse
at the end of 2025 govrenment of Korea have created low thisby the end of 2025, the government of Korea will create a law for thisIncorrect verb tense and article misuse

Vocabulary Improvements

6 suggestions
Original Word/PhraseImproved Word/PhraseExplanation
i fully agreeI completely agreeInformal language: 'completely' is a more formal alternative
now a daysnowadaysIncorrect phrase
it is best solution for the issues of cramit is the best solution for overcrowding issuesInformal language and incorrect phrase
mostly peoplemost peopleWrong collocation: 'most people' is the correct usage
face accidentencounter accidentsWrong collocation: 'encounter accidents' is the correct academic collocation
harm these problemsare affected by these problemsIncorrect phrase

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task and presents a position on relocating businesses to rural areas. However, the argument lacks depth and some ideas are underdeveloped, with only partial exploration of the challenges involved.
Examples
Mentions traffic congestion and housing issues, and suggests that moving companies to rural areas is a good idea.
How to Improve
To improve, provide more balanced development of ideas, with specific examples of social and economic challenges that may arise.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay displays a logical organization but with lapses in the clarity of ideas and paragraphing. Transitions between ideas are abrupt.
Examples
The transition from traffic congestion to accidents is not smooth, and separate points are confused within paragraphs.
How to Improve
Improve coherence by structuring paragraphs clearly with a single main idea, and use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas smoothly.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary. There are notable spelling mistakes and inappropriate word choices.
Examples
Words like 'roral' instead of 'rural', 'veiw' instead of 'view', and phrases like 'produce more vehicles this caused by large problem'.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary to include less common lexical items, and pay attention to correct spelling to better express precise meanings.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
There are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, and punctuation. These detract from the clarity of the writing.
Examples
Errors such as 'take a Japan', 'never have individuals encounter', 'have created low this'.
How to Improve
Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and verb tenses. Practice writing complex sentences accurately and use punctuation correctly.
💡
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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