This Band 5 IELTS essay addresses the opinion of relocating businesses from urban to rural areas. While it presents a clear stance, it suffers from clarity and depth issues, which hinder the overall argument. The feedback highlights the need for more developed ideas and better coherence, essential for achieving a higher band score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
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Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (267 words) and addresses the topic directly, presenting a clear opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive, lacking depth and counter-arguments. Coherence is affected by simplistic paragraph structure and weak linking. Vocabulary is basic with noticeable spelling errors, and grammar contains frequent mistakes that hinder clarity.
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Establishement of big factories and businesses in the city central areas has invited various problems including road congestion and scarcity of housing. Many people believe that shifting big businesses, industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a better option for the these issues in city area. I totally agree with this satatement because relocating big industries and business helps in People movement and Settlement.
Firstly, By developing big infrastructures such as : factories, industries and business in rural areas not only solves the issues of traffic jam and housing problem but also helps in balanced developement. big companies are established" title="Correction: If big companies are established">If big companies will be established in rural areas then this will attract thousnads of employers and finally people tend to move from urban to rural areas.On doing so,it will increase the demand of living area in rural. This action will automatically solve the issue of traffice jam and over population in cities.
Secondly, People will surely be intrested in settling in those areas which are less crowded. so, rural areas will be the best option for them to be free from polluted and over crowded areas.Also, the competition will be low in rural areas in comparision to urban. Due to this reasons and benifits people tend to settle in rural areas. Relocating one business means almost relocating thousand of people from city areas to village areas.
restarting" title="Correction: In conclusion, restarting">In conclusion, Restarting the big businness and industries in new location is the best solution for the traffic congestion and housing because on doing so, it will automactically shrink the population of urban areas" title="Correction: shrink the population of urban areas">shrink the population of urban area and enlarge in rural areas.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
12 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| Establishement | Establishment |
| satatement | statement |
| thousnads | thousands |
| traffice | traffic |
| developement | development |
| intrested | interested |
| comparision | comparison |
| benifits | benefits |
| businness | business |
| automactically | automatically |
| over crowded | overcrowded |
| over population | overpopulation |
Grammatical Mistakes
18 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| for the these issues | for these issues | Article misuse: remove redundant 'the' |
| city area | urban areas | Use plural form for consistency |
| helps in People movement and Settlement | helps with the movement and settlement of people | Capitalization and preposition error |
| Firstly, By developing | Firstly, by developing | Capitalization error after comma |
| such as : | such as | Unnecessary colon in list |
| business in rural areas | businesses in rural areas | Plural form needed to match 'factories, industries' |
| If big companies will be established | If big companies are established | Conditional tense error; use simple present for future conditions |
| thousnads of employers | thousands of employees | Word choice: 'employers' should be 'employees' for people who work |
| On doing so,it | By doing so, it | Preposition error and missing space after comma |
| demand of living area | demand for living areas | Preposition error and plural form |
| traffice jam and over population | traffic jams and overpopulation | Spelling and plural form |
| so, rural areas | So, rural areas | Capitalization error at the start of a sentence |
| Due to this reasons | Due to these reasons | Plural agreement: 'reasons' is plural, so use 'these' |
| relocating thousand of people | relocating thousands of people | Number agreement: use 'thousands' for many people |
| In conclusion, Restarting | In conclusion, restarting | Capitalization error after comma |
| on doing so | by doing so | Preposition error |
| shrink the population of urban area | shrink the population of urban areas | Plural form needed |
| and enlarge in rural areas | and increase the population in rural areas | Missing object for 'enlarge' |
Vocabulary Improvements
13 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| invited | caused | More accurate verb for problems |
| big | large | More formal alternative |
| city central areas | city centers | More precise term |
| traffic jam | traffic congestion | More formal term |
| housing problem | housing shortage | More specific term |
| employers | employees | Incorrect word choice; context requires workers |
| living area | residential areas | More precise vocabulary |
| over crowded areas | overcrowded areas | Compound word correction |
| competition will be low | competition will be less intense | More academic phrasing |
| village areas | rural areas | Consistency in terminology |
| Restarting | Relocating | Inaccurate verb; businesses are moved, not restarted |
| shrink | reduce | More standard term for population |
| enlarge | increase | More appropriate for population growth |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
5.5
Evaluation
The writer presents a clear position (agreement) and addresses the prompt. However, the ideas are not developed in depth; they remain general and repetitive. For example, both body paragraphs essentially make the same point about people moving to rural areas. There is no exploration of potential drawbacks or complexities (e.g., economic costs, impact on rural communities).
Examples
Points such as 'balanced developement' and 'people tend to move' are stated but not explained with specific reasoning or evidence. The conclusion simply restates the introduction.
How to Improve
Develop each main idea with specific explanations, examples, or consequences. Consider discussing both sides of the argument to show depth, even if you agree. For instance, acknowledge potential challenges of relocation before reinforcing your agreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure (introduction, two body paragraphs, conclusion). However, paragraphing is not used effectively for logical development. Sentences within paragraphs are sometimes choppy, and cohesive devices are used inaccurately or are absent.
Examples
The phrase 'On doing so' is incorrectly used. The transition 'Secondly' is used, but the second paragraph does not clearly present a new main idea. There are punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after full stops ('areas.On doing').
How to Improve
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph. Use a range of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'however', 'as a result') accurately to show relationships between ideas. Proofread to ensure correct punctuation and spacing.
Lexical Resource
5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling errors. Some word choices are inappropriate or awkward. The range is insufficient for a higher band score.
Examples
Misspellings: 'Establishement', 'satatement', 'intrested', 'benifits', 'businness', 'automactically'. Inappropriate phrasing: 'People movement and Settlement' (better: 'the movement and resettlement of people'), 'shrink the population' (better: 'reduce the population density').
How to Improve
Work on spelling accuracy. Learn and practice using topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'urban sprawl', 'decentralization', 'infrastructure', 'population density'). Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find more precise synonyms to avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5
Evaluation
Grammar is a significant weakness. There are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, articles, and prepositions. Most sentences are simple, and attempts at complex structures contain mistakes that often impede meaning.
Examples
Incorrect conditional: 'If big companies will be established' (should be 'If big companies are established'). Article error: 'a better option for the these issues'. Word form error: 'Due to this reasons'. Subject-verb agreement: 'Relocating one business means almost relocating thousand of people' ('thousands' needed).
How to Improve
Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and verb tenses first. Practice forming accurate complex sentences using clauses. Proofread specifically for common errors like articles ('a/an/the'), plural nouns, and subject-verb agreement.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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