This Band 5 IELTS opinion essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas but struggles with coherence and depth. While it states disagreement clearly, the arguments lack detailed development and nuanced analysis, which can be improved.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
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Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (293 words). It addresses the topic but with superficial development, lacking depth in argumentation. The response is coherent in structure but has issues with flow and cohesion. Vocabulary is limited with spelling errors, and grammar contains frequent mistakes that occasionally hinder communication.
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I disagree with the opinion of relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities, the reasons i disagree with the opinion are listed below:
It will be a total set back for the business because most of the customers that will patronise the business are based in the urban area (cities) and it will be of good strategy to stay back in the cities where the business can strive than going to rural area where it will be difficult for customers to access the services or products.
secondly, social and infrastructural ammenities are easily accessible in the cities than rural area. All these ammenities make life more comfortable and relaible for people to live with as compared to rural area where they lack so many ammenities such as good road network, internet facilities and so on.
Thirdly, siting a business in an urban areas enable business to work, relate and compete with other businesses that offer the same services as the business, only if the business does not have any competitors then it can move to rural areas where the customers will travel long miles before accessing their services.
Lastly, everything about life is competion and everyone must fight to get the best out of it. if road traffic congestion or housing scheme are the major problem then the business or industries owners should support the government to build more houses and construct a bigger road since their are provision for it.
In conclusion, it is better to stay in an urban area where the busness or industry will meet the consumer needs as well as meeting all other busness requirements.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
5 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| set back | setback |
| ammenities | amenities |
| relaible | reliable |
| competion | competition |
| busness | business |
Grammatical Mistakes
10 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the opinion of relocating | the opinion that relocating | Incorrect preposition use; 'that' should introduce the clause expressing the opinion. |
| i disagree | I disagree | Capitalization error; the pronoun 'I' must always be capitalized. |
| it will be of good strategy | it would be a good strategy | Incorrect phrase; 'of good strategy' is not standard; use 'a good strategy'. |
| than going to rural area | than going to rural areas | Article missing; 'rural area' should be plural or preceded by an article for correctness. |
| are easily accessible in the cities than rural area | are more easily accessible in cities than in rural areas | Comparative structure incorrect; 'more... than' is needed, and preposition 'in' before 'rural areas'. |
| as compared to rural area | compared to rural areas | Wordy phrase; 'compared to' is sufficient, and 'rural area' should be plural for consistency. |
| siting a business in an urban areas enable business to work | siting a business in urban areas enables a business to work | Subject-verb agreement error; 'siting a business' is singular, so 'enables' is required, and 'an urban areas' should be 'urban areas' (plural). |
| only if the business does not have any competitors then it can move | only if the business does not have any competitors can it move | Word order error; with 'only if', the subject and verb should be inverted in the main clause. |
| since their are provision for it | since there are provisions for it | Homophone error: 'their' should be 'there'; noun number agreement: 'provision' should be plural 'provisions'. |
| if road traffic congestion or housing scheme are the major problem | if road traffic congestion or housing issues are the major problems | Subject-verb agreement and noun form; 'housing scheme' is vague, and 'problem' should be plural to match 'are'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| strive | thrive | Wrong word choice; 'strive' means to make great efforts, while 'thrive' means to prosper or succeed in context. |
| of good strategy | a good strategy | Incorrect collocation; 'of' is not used with 'strategy' in this context; 'a good strategy' is standard. |
| relate | network | Vague in business context; 'network' is more precise for interacting with other businesses. |
| fight to get the best out of it | compete to achieve success | Too informal and vague; 'compete to achieve success' is more appropriate for academic writing. |
| housing scheme | housing infrastructure | Vague term; 'housing infrastructure' is more precise and academic. |
| bigger road | expanded road networks | Informal; 'expanded road networks' is more precise and suitable for urban planning discussion. |
| provision | provisions or resources | Singular form may be incorrect; 'provisions' or 'resources' is better for indicating available means or initiatives. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay clearly states disagreement and provides reasons, but the ideas are not fully developed. It fails to explore the extent of agreement or disagreement in depth, and does not consider counterarguments or nuanced implications of relocation.
Examples
Points such as customer base, amenities, and competition are mentioned but not elaborated with specific examples or evidence. The suggestion to build more houses and roads is briefly stated without explanation.
How to Improve
Develop each paragraph with detailed explanations, examples, or data. Acknowledge potential benefits of relocation before refuting them to show a balanced analysis, and ensure the conclusion summarizes the argument effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion is weak due to poor linking between ideas and repetitive use of transition words. Paragraphs are listed rather than logically connected.
Examples
The introduction is a run-on sentence. Transition words like 'secondly,' 'thirdly,' and 'lastly' are used, but paragraphs lack topic sentences and clear progression. The conclusion is abrupt and does not synthesize the arguments.
How to Improve
Use a clear thesis statement in the introduction, start each paragraph with a topic sentence, and use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., pronouns, conjunctions) to create smooth transitions. Ensure the conclusion restates the main points and position.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is repetitive and sometimes inaccurate, with frequent spelling errors. The word choice is basic and occasionally informal, limiting the clarity and sophistication of the essay.
Examples
Misspellings: 'ammenities' for 'amenities,' 'busness' for 'business,' 'relaible' for 'reliable.' Inaccurate use: 'strive' instead of 'thrive,' 'set back' instead of 'setback.' Informal phrase: 'everything about life is competition.'
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning topic-related words, use a dictionary for spelling, and avoid informal expressions. Practice using synonyms and more precise terms to convey ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, affecting sentence structure, tense, and punctuation. Simple sentences dominate, and mistakes sometimes impede understanding.
Examples
Capitalization error: 'the reasons i disagree.' Article error: 'a total set back' should be 'a total setback.' Subject-verb agreement: 'their are provision' should be 'there are provisions.' Run-on sentences in the introduction.
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, especially for sentence structure, articles, and subject-verb agreement. Practice writing complex sentences and proofread to correct punctuation and tense errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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