Achieving a Band 5 score in this IELTS writing task 2 essay on relocating businesses highlights critical cohesion flaws and clarity issues. The essay attempts to address urban congestion but lacks clear argument development and appropriate transitions between ideas, impacting overall readability.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay attempts to address the prompt about relocating businesses and industries to rural areas as a solution for urban congestion and housing problems. While it has some relevant points, it often lacks clear support and development of ideas. There are issues with grammar, punctuation, and cohesion, and the essay barely meets the minimum word count.
Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Urban Planning essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
Urban Planning is arrange lanscape of the city. It can be relocated most of businesses and industries as well as their employees from the city to the rural areas. I believe this movement become a good solution to erase traffic congestion and housing in major cities. Most of people find a good job to big city, that make a collectivity mass in one area. Another regions should have a chance to develop also.
Most of people thought the big city is just one and only region that have better job opportunities. Whereas another people also thinking at the same, thus many peoples just fulfill the one area. It will be many issues, one of them is there are some slump areas. Slump area looks like bothering the view of city. Waste anywhere around the city become an example for slump area. This issue should be done by wise regulation for restrict the peoples who wants to be come here.
In addition, the stakeholders need to make a policy that can spread the society averagely. That policy like a transmigration, if some peoples are willing to join the program. They will get a hectare of land, therefore it makes a motivation with interesting rewards. Moreover, that will increase development for another city which achievment for the stakeholders to manage their city.
In conclusion, job opportunities plays essential role as a gold medal for the most of peoples. On the other hand, the stakeholders should declare a statue that can manage the functional space of the city.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
3 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| lanscape | landscape |
| achievment | achievement |
| peoples | people |
Grammatical Mistakes
12 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| is arrange lanscape | is the arrangement of the landscape | Incorrect verb form and article use |
| this movement become | this movement becomes | Subject-verb agreement and tense correction |
| Most of people | Most people | Misuse of article 'of' |
| should have a chance to develop also | should also have a chance to develop | Incorrect word order |
| that have better | that has better | Subject-verb agreement: 'city' is singular |
| become an example for | is an example of | Incorrect preposition use |
| this issue should be done by wise regulation for restrict the peoples | this issue should be addressed by wise regulations to restrict people | Incorrect verb and article usage |
| the stakeholders need to make a policy that can spread the society averagely | the stakeholders need to implement a policy that can evenly distribute the population | Use of more precise verbs and adjectives |
| if some peoples are willing | if some people are willing | Usage of plural form 'peoples' is incorrect |
| a hectare of land, therefore it makes | a hectare of land; therefore, it creates | Improper conjunction and verb form used |
| job opportunities plays essential role | job opportunities play an essential role | Subject-verb agreement and missing article 'an' |
| for the most of peoples | for most people | 'most of peoples' is incorrect usage |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| believe this movement become a good solution | believe this relocation could be an effective solution | 'movement' is too vague; 'relocation' is more precise |
| stakeholders to manage their city | stakeholders for urban planning | 'manage their city' is vague; 'urban planning' specifies the purpose |
| gold medal for the most of peoples | prime motivation for most people | 'gold medal' is improper metaphor; 'prime motivation' is more appropriate |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Urban Planning essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay provides a basic response to the task. It attempts to argue that relocating businesses can resolve urban congestion and housing issues.
Examples
Mentions that big cities appear as the sole destinations for job seekers, leading to slum areas, and proposes policy initiatives like transmigration.
How to Improve
Develop ideas in more detail and provide specific examples or evidence to support points. Clearly state your agreement or disagreement and consistently maintain this stance.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has some basic organizational structure, but logical connections between ideas are weak.
Examples
The transition from job opportunities to stakeholders' responsibilities is abrupt.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas, like transitions between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that contributes to the overall argument.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Demonstrates limited range of vocabulary with frequent repetition and occasional misuse of words.
Examples
Repeated use of 'peoples,' 'slump area,' and 'stakeholders.'
How to Improve
Expand lexical range by incorporating a variety of vocabulary. Pay attention to correct word forms and ensure word choice is precise and appropriate.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that can impede meaning.
Examples
Problems such as 'Most of people find,' 'Thus many peoples,' 'stakeholders should declare a statue.'
How to Improve
Focus on basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and correct plural forms. Proofread your work carefully to eliminate errors and improve clarity.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
Many people hold different opinions regarding living alone.Some people want to live alone as they wanted to spend their lives on their own terms.If they live al...
02
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
It is often observed in several nations that people are choosing to live in solitude, as compared to the people before. I belived that this a positive developme...
03
Some people believe that online grocery shopping is more convenient and efficient than visiting physical stores. Others argue that traditional shopping offers better quality control and a more personal experience.Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.
It is believed by some individuals that shopping for groceries online is comparatively easier and more efficient as compared to shopping in physical stores. I d...
04
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.
Many people used to say that moving geant organistion and firms with their employees far the cities can resolve problems with trafic and accomodation in large t...
05
People nowadays prefer to have adventurous and thrilling activities on their holidays, rather than relaxing in a distant place. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.
As we move further into the twenty-first century, it has been observed that due to modernisation and globalisation travelling has become more popular trend in r...