Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay: Relocating Businesses and Cohesion Improvements
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published May 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ 255 words Β· Band 5
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Achieving a Band 5 score in this IELTS writing task 2 essay on relocating businesses highlights critical cohesion flaws and clarity issues. The essay attempts to address urban congestion but lacks clear argument development and appropriate transitions between ideas, impacting overall readability.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min


Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write at least 250 words.
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5 Band

Overall Band Score

255 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· AI Evaluated

5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical Resource
4.5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
4.5

Summary: The essay attempts to address the prompt about relocating businesses and industries to rural areas as a solution for urban congestion and housing problems. While it has some relevant points, it often lacks clear support and development of ideas. There are issues with grammar, punctuation, and cohesion, and the essay barely meets the minimum word count.

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Student Answer
Real submission β€’ 255 words β€’ Annotated
255 words Band 5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

Urban Planning is arrange lanscape of the city. It can be relocated most of businesses and industries as well as their employees from the city to the rural areas. I believe this movement become a good solution to erase traffic congestion and housing in major cities. Most of people find a good job to big city, that make a collectivity mass in one area. Another regions should have a chance to develop also.

Most of people thought the big city is just one and only region that have better job opportunities. Whereas another people also thinking at the same, thus many peoples just fulfill the one area. It will be many issues, one of them is there are some slump areas. Slump area looks like bothering the view of city. Waste anywhere around the city become an example for slump area. This issue should be done by wise regulation for restrict the peoples who wants to be come here.

In addition, the stakeholders need to make a policy that can spread the society averagely. That policy like a transmigration, if some peoples are willing to join the program. They will get a hectare of land, therefore it makes a motivation with interesting rewards. Moreover, that will increase development for another city which achievment for the stakeholders to manage their city.

In conclusion, job opportunities plays essential role as a gold medal for the most of peoples. On the other hand, the stakeholders should declare a statue that can manage the functional space of the city.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

3 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
lanscape landscape
achievment achievement
peoples people

Grammatical Mistakes

12 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
is arrange lanscape is the arrangement of the landscape Incorrect verb form and article use
this movement become this movement becomes Subject-verb agreement and tense correction
Most of people Most people Misuse of article 'of'
should have a chance to develop also should also have a chance to develop Incorrect word order
that have better that has better Subject-verb agreement: 'city' is singular
become an example for is an example of Incorrect preposition use
this issue should be done by wise regulation for restrict the peoples this issue should be addressed by wise regulations to restrict people Incorrect verb and article usage
the stakeholders need to make a policy that can spread the society averagely the stakeholders need to implement a policy that can evenly distribute the population Use of more precise verbs and adjectives
if some peoples are willing if some people are willing Usage of plural form 'peoples' is incorrect
a hectare of land, therefore it makes a hectare of land; therefore, it creates Improper conjunction and verb form used
job opportunities plays essential role job opportunities play an essential role Subject-verb agreement and missing article 'an'
for the most of peoples for most people 'most of peoples' is incorrect usage

Vocabulary Improvements

3 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
believe this movement become a good solution believe this relocation could be an effective solution 'movement' is too vague; 'relocation' is more precise
stakeholders to manage their city stakeholders for urban planning 'manage their city' is vague; 'urban planning' specifies the purpose
gold medal for the most of peoples prime motivation for most people 'gold medal' is improper metaphor; 'prime motivation' is more appropriate

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 5
Evaluation
The essay provides a basic response to the task. It attempts to argue that relocating businesses can resolve urban congestion and housing issues.
Examples
Mentions that big cities appear as the sole destinations for job seekers, leading to slum areas, and proposes policy initiatives like transmigration.
How to Improve
Develop ideas in more detail and provide specific examples or evidence to support points. Clearly state your agreement or disagreement and consistently maintain this stance.
Coherence and Cohesion 5
Evaluation
The essay has some basic organizational structure, but logical connections between ideas are weak.
Examples
The transition from job opportunities to stakeholders' responsibilities is abrupt.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas, like transitions between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that contributes to the overall argument.
Lexical Resource 5
Evaluation
Demonstrates limited range of vocabulary with frequent repetition and occasional misuse of words.
Examples
Repeated use of 'peoples,' 'slump area,' and 'stakeholders.'
How to Improve
Expand lexical range by incorporating a variety of vocabulary. Pay attention to correct word forms and ensure word choice is precise and appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 4.5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that can impede meaning.
Examples
Problems such as 'Most of people find,' 'Thus many peoples,' 'stakeholders should declare a statue.'
How to Improve
Focus on basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and correct plural forms. Proofread your work carefully to eliminate errors and improve clarity.
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Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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