This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses to alleviate urban issues like traffic congestion. With coherence and vocabulary challenges noted, the essay requires further development and clearer connections between ideas to enhance overall effectiveness.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (259 words) and addresses the prompt by taking a clear position agreeing with the relocation idea. However, the response is underdeveloped, lacks depth, and contains logical gaps (e.g., the connection between urban pressure and unemployment is not fully explained). Coherence is hindered by limited use of cohesive devices and some abrupt transitions. Lexical range is narrow with frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'buisnesses', 'trasportation', 'residants'). Grammatical accuracy is low, with persistent errors in tense, word form, and article usage. Overall, the essay demonstrates a limited ability to express and develop ideas, typical of a Band 5 candidate.
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There is no denying that traffic congestion and housing in major cities are a concerning issue of recent times . City centered development is one of the reasons of it . I firmly consider that their workers to rural areas" title="Correction: shifting large businesses and their workers to rural areas">shifting big buisnesses and their workers in rural areas good decision" title="Correction: will be a good decision">will be good decision.
In big countries like China, India , they have a overwhelming population and it is very much hard to handle it . As the trasportation and housing system is great in major cities , most of the people are liking to live their . Which creates a lot of pressure on that particuler city . This led to serveral serious issue such as traffic jam . Similarly, the unemployment rate will also be soared. It poses a significant threat to the daily life of the residants.
So by relocating and evolving the industries and housing system in rural area will diminish the attraction of people towards cities . Moreover , as industries are shifted ,their workers will also be shifted , which will reduce the traffic congestion . Daily life of local's will develop. Furthermore, the lifestyle of rural people will improve . They will get much access to modern life . Transportation system will also increase so that they could reach their destinations safely and easily.
In conclusion , i would like say that, the relocating idea is a better option as there is tackle the pressure on major cities" title="Correction: no other possible way to tackle the pressure on major cities">no other possible way to tackle the pressure on major cities available. Otherwise , everyday life of people will hampered and many other problem will arise.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
7 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| buisnesses | businesses |
| trasportation | transportation |
| their | there |
| particuler | particular |
| serveral | several |
| residants | residents |
| local's | locals |
Grammatical Mistakes
15 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| City centered development | City-centered development | Compound adjective requires a hyphen |
| shifting big buisnesses and their workers in rural areas | shifting large businesses and their workers to rural areas | Preposition 'in' should be 'to' to indicate direction of relocation |
| will be good decision | will be a good decision | Missing article 'a' before countable noun 'decision' |
| a overwhelming population | an overwhelming population | Use 'an' before words starting with a vowel sound |
| it is very much hard to handle it | it is very hard to handle | 'very much hard' is nonstandard; remove 'much' and redundant second 'it' |
| most of the people are liking to live their | most people like to live there | 'are liking' with stative verb is incorrect; use simple present 'like' and correct 'their' to 'there' |
| Which creates a lot of pressure | This creates a lot of pressure | 'Which' as a sentence starter is unclear; use 'This' to refer to the previous idea |
| This led to serveral serious issue such as traffic jam | This leads to several serious issues such as traffic jams | Present tense 'leads' for ongoing situation; plural 'issues' and 'jams' needed |
| the unemployment rate will also be soared | the unemployment rate will also soar | Passive 'be soared' is incorrect; use active 'soar' |
| in rural area | in rural areas | Plural 'areas' for general reference |
| Daily life of local's will develop | Daily life of locals will develop | Remove apostrophe; 'locals' is the plural noun |
| i would like say that | I would like to say that | Capitalize 'I' and add 'to' before 'say' |
| no other possible way to tackle the pressure on major cities available | no other possible way to tackle the pressure on major cities | Remove dangling 'available' at end of sentence |
| everyday life of people will hampered | everyday life of people will be hampered | Missing 'be' to form passive voice |
| many other problem will arise | many other problems will arise | Plural 'problems' required after 'many other' |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| big buisnesses | large businesses | 'Big' is informal; use 'large' for a more formal tone |
| good decision | wise decision | 'Good' is vague; 'wise' is more precise and academic |
| attraction of people | migration of people | 'Attraction' is vague; 'migration' more accurately describes population movement |
| daily life ... will develop | daily life ... will improve | 'Develop' is too general; 'improve' better conveys positive change |
| get much access | gain greater access | 'Get' is informal and 'much' is awkward here; 'gain greater access' is more formal and precise |
| tackle the pressure | alleviate the pressure | 'Tackle' is informal; 'alleviate' is a more appropriate academic collocation |
| relocating idea | relocation proposal | 'Idea' is vague; 'proposal' is more concrete and formal |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the question and states a clear opinion (agreement). However, it only superficially discusses the benefits of relocation and fails to consider potential drawbacks or alternative solutions. The argument is simplistic, with no exploration of the 'extent' of agreement. The second body paragraph mixes benefits for rural areas with the original problem, but does not convincingly show how relocation solves traffic and housing. The conclusion merely restates the position without a strong summary.
Examples
The essay claims relocation will 'reduce the traffic congestion' and 'daily life of locals will develop', but provides no specific examples or evidence. The phrase 'there is no other possible way to tackle the pressure' is an unsupported assertion.
How to Improve
To improve, develop each point with specific examples (e.g., refer to successful relocations like South Korea's Sejong City). Acknowledge the opposing view (e.g., cost, employee resistance) to show a balanced discussion. Clearly state the extent of agreement (e.g., 'I largely agree, but...') and ensure every paragraph directly relates to traffic and housing issues.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic three-paragraph structure (introduction, problem, solution, conclusion). However, the logical flow is disrupted by awkward transitions and unclear connections. The first body paragraph jumps from population pressure to unemployment without linking it to traffic/housing. Use of cohesive devices is limited to 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore', which are overused. Pronoun references are sometimes unclear (e.g., 'it' in line 3 of the first body paragraph). The conclusion begins with an informal 'i would like say that'.
Examples
The shift from 'traffic jam' to 'unemployment rate will also be soared' lacks a clear logical connector. In the second body paragraph, 'Daily life of local's will develop' is vague, and the reference to 'their destinations' is unclear.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices: 'As a result', 'Consequently', 'For instance', 'In contrast'. Ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea, and use topic sentences. Improve paragraphing by separating urban problems from the proposed solution more clearly. Use clear referencing (e.g., 'this situation' instead of 'it'). Avoid informal language in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with many spelling mistakes that interfere with meaning. Words like 'big', 'good', 'great' are overused. Attempts at more advanced phrases ('poses a significant threat') are undermined by errors. There is little use of synonyms or topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'congestion', 'infrastructure', 'decentralization').
Examples
Spelling errors: 'buisnesses' (businesses), 'trasportation' (transportation), 'particuler' (particular), 'serveral' (several), 'residants' (residents), 'soared' (soar – wrong form). Incorrect word choices: 'liking to live their' (prefer to live there), 'evolving the industries' (developing).
How to Improve
Learn and practice topic-specific vocabulary: 'relocation', 'urban migration', 'housing affordability', 'infrastructure strain'. Use a dictionary to check spelling. Replace vague adjectives with precise ones: 'major cities', 'rural areas', 'congested roads'. Practice using collocations: 'alleviate traffic congestion', 'ease housing demand', 'improve living standards'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex clauses. Errors include subject-verb agreement, incorrect verb forms, wrong tense, and misuse of articles. There are also punctuation issues (missing commas, incorrect capitalization).
Examples
'the unemployment rate will also be soared' – passive voice misused (should be 'will also soar'). 'most of the people are liking to live their' – continuous tense with stative verb, also 'their' for 'there'. 'daily life of local's will develop' – apostrophe error (locals). 'i would like say that' – missing 'to'. 'everyday life of people will hampered' – missing 'be'.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar: tenses (present simple for general facts), active vs passive voice, and article usage (a/the). Practice forming complex sentences with subordinators like 'because', 'although', 'which'. Proofread for common errors: 'there/their/they're', 'its/it's', subject-verb agreement. Use a grammar checker or ask a tutor to correct drafts.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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