Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Traditional Shopping: Coherence Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

📅 Published May 2026⏱️ 40 minutes recommended📝 296 words · Band 5
Achieving a band 5 in IELTS demonstrates the need for improvement in writing, particularly in essays about traditional shopping. This essay lacks coherence and clarity, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Key issues include awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that need attention to enhance overall quality.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Leisure & Lifestyle · 40 min

Some people believe that online grocery shopping is more convenient and efficient than visiting physical stores. Others argue that traditional shopping offers better quality control and a more personal experience.
Do you agree or disagree?  

Write at least 250 words.



5Band

Overall Band Score

296 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · AI Evaluated

5.5
Task Response
4.5
Grammar
5
Vocabulary
5
Coherence

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Overall Band Score
5
Task Response
5.5
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
4.5
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
5
Coherence & Cohesion
5

Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement, addressing the topic of online versus traditional shopping. While it effectively presents some arguments, the essay lacks depth and development. Coherence is impacted by repetition and a lack of clear structure, and lexical choices are often inaccurate. Grammatical errors are frequent and impede understanding.

Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.

Submit your Leisure & Lifestyle essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.

Student Answer
Real submission • 296 words • Annotated
296 wordsBand 5WritingPart2
● Spelling● Grammar● Vocabulary

In today's world, shopping is becoming a first need for everybody because in this way they easily able to enhence their personality. However, some people argue that online grocery shopping is more better than visiting physical way. Others believe that traditional shopping is more convenient and offers for good quality control. I agree with traditional shopping because it offers a more personal experience and many other things.
On the first hand, some people think that online shopping is more better because in this way they easily save their time and money. For example, many supermarkets offers differnt discounts and share their advertisement on social media platforms. When people watch it, then they able to order immediately before an ending offer. Moreover, sometimes they are busy in working or studying purpose and doesn't in traveling mode. Then, they chose this method because it is cheaper and easily accessable. Therefore, many people follow this tip.
On the other hand, some people people believe that traditional shopping is more best because it offers a time spend with family and several other things. For example, when a family visit some malls then they always chose anything after complete interest. In this way they able to observe every misconsumption such as size, colour, brand and various other things. Furthermore, it helps to increase their experience and confidence like debate on price up or low. Thus, some people chose it because it suitable for their family as spending time and enjoy a lot of street foods.
In conclusion, I completely agree with physical shopping because I use it in every time. Because sometimes, many online websites send differnet things in poor quality and earn much money. Therefore, I like traditional shopping because it is a great source of spend my free time.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

8 errors
Misspelled WordCorrected Word
enhenceenhance
more betterbetter
offers foroffers
differntdifferent
accessableaccessible
more bestbest
misconsumptionmisconception
differnetdifferent

Grammatical Mistakes

7 errors
MistakeCorrectionExplanation
they easily ablethey are easily ableMissing auxiliary verb 'are'; necessary for completing the verb phrase.
still in working or studying purposebusy with work or studyCorrect phrase needed to indicate being busy with specific tasks.
then they chosethen they chooseSubject-verb agreement: present tense 'choose' is required.
offers a time spendoffers time spentIncorrect verb form: 'spent' is the correct past participle.
it suitableit is suitableMissing verb 'is' in the sentence.
I use it in every timeI use it every timeRedundant 'in'; 'every time' is the appropriate phrase.
a great source of spenda great way to spendIncorrect phrase; 'way to spend' is more natural and grammatically correct.

Vocabulary Improvements

3 suggestions
Original Word/PhraseImproved Word/PhraseExplanation
first neednecessityMore accurate word choice for conveying 'basic need'.
physical wayphysical storesMore precise term for places where physical shopping occurs.
earn much moneymake a significant profitMore accurate and formal term to indicate financial gain.

Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.

Submit your Leisure & Lifestyle essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.

Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task and presents clear positions on online and traditional shopping.
Examples
Mentions saving time and money for online shopping and family experiences for traditional shopping.
How to Improve
Develop your arguments further by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main position.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has basic logical sequencing but lacks fluency due to repetition and awkward phrasing.
Examples
Phrases like 'some people people believe' and sentence structures that are fragmented.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively, and avoid unnecessary repetition to improve the logical flow.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with several inaccuracies.
Examples
Words like 'enhence,' 'misconsumption,' or 'accessable' are incorrect, leading to misunderstandings.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and correct spelling. Practice using these words in context to ensure clarity.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors that limit the reader's understanding.
Examples
Errors include 'more better,' 'doesn't in traveling mode,' and incorrect use of articles and plural forms.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, particularly in the use of comparatives, verb agreements, and sentence structure. Practice writing sentences with varied structures for improved accuracy.
💡
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

RELATED ESSAYS

01
Travel📝 261 words⏱️ Jul 2026Band 9 Model ✓
People nowadays prefer to have adventurous and thrilling activities on their holidays, rather than relaxing in a distant place. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.
As we move further into the twenty-first century, it has been observed that due to modernisation and globalisation travelling has become more popular trend in r...
02
Living Alone📝 330 words⏱️ Jul 2026Band 9 Model ✓
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?  Write at least 250 words.
In few nations, nowadays many people are choosing to stay alone than before. From my perspective, it is a positive development because a man can live independen...
03
Urban Planning📝 263 words⏱️ Jul 2026Band 9 Model ✓
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.
Many people used to say that moving geant organistion and firms with their employees far the cities can resolve problems with trafic and accomodation in large t...
04
Video games📝 292 words⏱️ Jul 2026Band 9 Model ✓
Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment, or even a useful way to learn new skills. However, others argue that video games have a negative impact on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? Write at least 250 words.
Digital Age has become more progressive in this century. Video Games can be compared from 1980's to the present day modern technology. The more it innovates its...
05
Living Alone📝 312 words⏱️ Jul 2026Band 9 Model ✓
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?  Write at least 250 words.
Many people hold different opinions regarding living alone.Some people want to live alone as they wanted to spend their lives on their own terms.If they live al...