Achieving a band 5 in IELTS demonstrates the need for improvement in writing, particularly in essays about traditional shopping. This essay lacks coherence and clarity, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Key issues include awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that need attention to enhance overall quality.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Leisure & Lifestyle · 40 min
Some people believe that online grocery shopping is more convenient and efficient than visiting physical stores. Others argue that traditional shopping offers better quality control and a more personal experience.
Do you agree or disagree?Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement, addressing the topic of online versus traditional shopping. While it effectively presents some arguments, the essay lacks depth and development. Coherence is impacted by repetition and a lack of clear structure, and lexical choices are often inaccurate. Grammatical errors are frequent and impede understanding.
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In today's world, shopping is becoming a first need for everybody because in this way they easily able to enhence their personality. However, some people argue that online grocery shopping is more better than visiting physical way. Others believe that traditional shopping is more convenient and offers for good quality control. I agree with traditional shopping because it offers a more personal experience and many other things.
On the first hand, some people think that online shopping is more better because in this way they easily save their time and money. For example, many supermarkets offers differnt discounts and share their advertisement on social media platforms. When people watch it, then they able to order immediately before an ending offer. Moreover, sometimes they are busy in working or studying purpose and doesn't in traveling mode. Then, they chose this method because it is cheaper and easily accessable. Therefore, many people follow this tip.
On the other hand, some people people believe that traditional shopping is more best because it offers a time spend with family and several other things. For example, when a family visit some malls then they always chose anything after complete interest. In this way they able to observe every misconsumption such as size, colour, brand and various other things. Furthermore, it helps to increase their experience and confidence like debate on price up or low. Thus, some people chose it because it suitable for their family as spending time and enjoy a lot of street foods.
In conclusion, I completely agree with physical shopping because I use it in every time. Because sometimes, many online websites send differnet things in poor quality and earn much money. Therefore, I like traditional shopping because it is a great source of spend my free time.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
8 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| enhence | enhance |
| more better | better |
| offers for | offers |
| differnt | different |
| accessable | accessible |
| more best | best |
| misconsumption | misconception |
| differnet | different |
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| they easily able | they are easily able | Missing auxiliary verb 'are'; necessary for completing the verb phrase. |
| still in working or studying purpose | busy with work or study | Correct phrase needed to indicate being busy with specific tasks. |
| then they chose | then they choose | Subject-verb agreement: present tense 'choose' is required. |
| offers a time spend | offers time spent | Incorrect verb form: 'spent' is the correct past participle. |
| it suitable | it is suitable | Missing verb 'is' in the sentence. |
| I use it in every time | I use it every time | Redundant 'in'; 'every time' is the appropriate phrase. |
| a great source of spend | a great way to spend | Incorrect phrase; 'way to spend' is more natural and grammatically correct. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| first need | necessity | More accurate word choice for conveying 'basic need'. |
| physical way | physical stores | More precise term for places where physical shopping occurs. |
| earn much money | make a significant profit | More accurate and formal term to indicate financial gain. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task and presents clear positions on online and traditional shopping.
Examples
Mentions saving time and money for online shopping and family experiences for traditional shopping.
How to Improve
Develop your arguments further by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main position.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has basic logical sequencing but lacks fluency due to repetition and awkward phrasing.
Examples
Phrases like 'some people people believe' and sentence structures that are fragmented.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively, and avoid unnecessary repetition to improve the logical flow.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with several inaccuracies.
Examples
Words like 'enhence,' 'misconsumption,' or 'accessable' are incorrect, leading to misunderstandings.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and correct spelling. Practice using these words in context to ensure clarity.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors that limit the reader's understanding.
Examples
Errors include 'more better,' 'doesn't in traveling mode,' and incorrect use of articles and plural forms.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, particularly in the use of comparatives, verb agreements, and sentence structure. Practice writing sentences with varied structures for improved accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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