This IELTS Writing Task 2 essay on traffic congestion received a Band 5 score due to clarity issues. The response focused too narrowly on traffic without addressing housing concerns and included several linguistic errors. Improvements in coherence and vocabulary would enhance overall clarity.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
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Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 250 words (actual: 252) but only partially addresses the prompt by focusing solely on traffic congestion and omitting housing issues. The opinion is clear, but arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. Frequent errors in spelling, vocabulary, and grammar hinder clarity and coherence.
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Nowadays traffic congestion has been a major problem in big cities. It is often argued that if big businesses and orgaisations and their employees relocate from city areas to countryside, then many traffic and hosing issues can be resolved. I strongly agree with this opinion because of these huge companies and organisations being located in the city center, people suffer with traffic jams on daiy basis.
One main reason why i hold this opinion is because roads on daily basic are overflowing with jams. Tis is mainly because when hudreds and thousands of workers of these companies head to their jobs in the morning. The roads become packed and overly crowded witch makes it even difficult for others to reach to their destnations. This makes people frustrated and tired even before starting their day. For example, when someone is already getting late for something important and gets stuck in traffic congestion he will be exhausted. Which is why the major industries should relocate to some rular areas so that there will be less crowded roads.
Another important factor is that traffic jams produce many environmental issues such as noise pollution because people keep honking, vehicles release harmful gases which causes air polution, wastage of fuel etc. This also ffects one's physical and mental health such as road rage, exhaustion, feeling tired and nauseous, high-stress levels, respiratory problems , gas poisning and many more. This is why i firmly believe that that these big industries and organisations should move to the countryside areas.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
13 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| orgaisations | organisations |
| hosing | housing |
| daiy | daily |
| basic | basis |
| Tis | This |
| hudreds | hundreds |
| witch | which |
| destnations | destinations |
| rular | rural |
| polution | pollution |
| ffects | affects |
| poisning | poisoning |
| i | I |
Grammatical Mistakes
9 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| suffer with | suffer from | Preposition error; 'suffer from' is the correct collocation. |
| on daily basic | on a daily basis | Incorrect phrase; should be 'on a daily basis'. |
| Tis is mainly because when hudreds and thousands of workers of these companies head to their jobs in the morning. | This is mainly because when hundreds and thousands of workers from these companies head to their jobs in the morning, the roads become packed. | Sentence fragment; needs to be a complete sentence. |
| witch makes it even difficult for others to reach to their destnations. | which makes it even more difficult for others to reach their destinations. | Spelling error for 'which'; incorrect preposition 'to' after 'reach'. |
| when someone is already getting late for something important and gets stuck in traffic congestion he will be exhausted. | when someone is already running late for something important and gets stuck in traffic congestion, he or she will be exhausted. | Informal 'getting late'; missing comma; use inclusive language. |
| Which is why | This is why | 'Which' should not start a sentence in formal writing; use 'This'. |
| which causes air polution | which cause air pollution | Subject-verb agreement: 'gases' is plural, so 'cause' is correct. |
| This also ffects one's physical and mental health such as road rage, exhaustion, feeling tired and nauseous, high-stress levels, respiratory problems , gas poisning and many more. | This also affects one's physical and mental health, causing issues such as road rage, exhaustion, nausea, high-stress levels, respiratory problems, gas poisoning, and many others. | Spelling error 'ffects'; redundant 'feeling tired'; list structure; punctuation. |
| believe that that | believe that | Redundant double 'that'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
8 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| overflowing with jams | congested with traffic | Informal metaphor; 'congested' is more precise and academic. |
| packed and overly crowded | heavily congested | Redundant; use one stronger term. |
| reach to their destinations | reach their destinations | Incorrect collocation; 'reach' does not take 'to'. |
| getting late | running late | Informal; 'running late' is more idiomatic for time sensitivity. |
| big businesses | large corporations | 'Big' is informal; 'large' or 'major' is more formal. |
| countryside areas | the countryside | Redundant; 'countryside' already refers to rural areas. |
| etc. | among others | Informal in academic writing; use 'among others' or list fully. |
| many more | numerous other problems | Vague; be more specific or use 'many other issues'. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay presents a clear agreement with the opinion but fails to discuss housing issues, which is a key part of the prompt. Arguments are limited to traffic congestion and its effects, with minimal development or specific examples.
Examples
The introduction mentions 'traffic and hosing issues' but the body only elaborates on traffic, citing environmental and health impacts without linking to housing. The example given about traffic jams is generic and not fully extended.
How to Improve
Address all parts of the question explicitly. Develop each argument with relevant, specific examples (e.g., how relocation could reduce housing demand in cities). Ensure a balanced discussion of both traffic and housing.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but cohesion is weakened by limited linking devices and some incoherent sentences. Paragraphing is acceptable but ideas within paragraphs could be better organized.
Examples
Basic cohesive devices like 'One main reason' and 'Another important factor' are used, but the flow is disrupted by sentence fragments (e.g., 'Tis is mainly because when hudreds and thousands of workers...'). The conclusion is abrupt and repetitive.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'as a result') to connect ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that sentences logically follow one another. Avoid incomplete sentences.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling errors that impede communication. Word choice is often simple and not always accurate, reducing lexical range.
Examples
Misspellings: 'orgaisations' (organizations), 'hosing' (housing), 'daiy' (daily), 'polution' (pollution), 'rular' (rural). Non-idiomatic phrases like 'overflowing with jams' and 'gas poisning' (gas poisoning).
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to urban and rural development, traffic, and housing. Use a dictionary or spell-checker to correct errors. Practice using synonyms and more precise terms (e.g., 'gridlock' instead of 'jams').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect sentence structures, missing articles, and verb form issues. Sentence variety is limited, with predominantly simple constructions.
Examples
Awkward structure: 'because of these huge companies and organisations being located' should be 'because these huge companies are located'. Sentence fragment: 'Tis is mainly because when...' lacks a main clause. Errors in articles: 'on daily basic' should be 'on a daily basis'.
How to Improve
Review foundational grammar rules, especially article usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence completeness. Practice writing compound and complex sentences. Proofread to identify and correct frequent errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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