This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the impact of video games, noting its entertainment value but struggling with depth and coherence. Key areas for improvement include enhancing argument development and using cohesive transitions effectively.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Video games Β· 40 min
Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment, or even a useful way to learn new skills. However, others argue that video games have a negative impact on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay addresses the topic and meets the word count requirement (315 words). However, it lacks depth in argument development, has coherence issues, limited vocabulary, and frequent grammatical errors, resulting in an overall Band 5.0 performance.
Now write your own β and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Video games essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar β plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
Video games have many importance in ones life, video games can help one relive there tension or stress, video games can be used as a way to pass time when on is free from work or school. People see that video games are a good form of entertainment and even a way for one to develop skills, however some people have the mentality that video games are bad for people who play them. In this essay im going to shade light on how video games are useful tool to us.
To begin with, video games can help one escape stress. In the modern day, a lot of people pass through stress maybe because someone are making there lives miserable ,video games helps one to overcome the stress and be relaxed then allowing him or her to think strategic on how to solve the issue and not to make a decision with dire consequences.
Additionally, video games helps one to earn some amount of money and make a living. modern days" title="Correction: In these modern days">In this modern days people like ishowspeed stream there content in youtube by playing games online and get subscription from people around the world earning them a lot of money hence enabling them to make a living with it thus increasing there living standards. This also creates entertainment to the viewers who are watching making it a win win situation.
On the other hand, video games can be harmful to people where by it takes most of there time. One can procrastinate an activity that he or she planned to do due to the video games. Another disadvantage is where by the person plays video game to much that drains the social skills, making him or her to be an introvert and afraid to meet people.
In conclusion, video games have more advantages than disadvantages. It all depends how one use it to his or her benefit
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
7 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| ones | one's |
| im | I'm |
| ishowspeed | IShowSpeed |
| youtube | YouTube |
| win win | win-win |
| where by | whereby |
| to much | too much |
Grammatical Mistakes
11 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| many importance | great importance | 'Importance' is uncountable; 'many' is incorrect. Use 'great' or 'much'. |
| relive there tension | relieve their tension | 'Relive' means to experience again; use 'relieve' for alleviating. 'There' should be possessive 'their'. |
| when on is free | when one is free | 'On' is a preposition; the subject should be 'one'. |
| however some people | however, some people | Comma required after 'however' when it introduces a contrasting clause. |
| video games helps one | video games help one | Subject-verb agreement: 'video games' is plural, so use 'help'. |
| someone are making there lives miserable | someone is making their lives miserable | 'Someone' is singular, so 'is' not 'are'. 'There' should be possessive 'their'. |
| think strategic | think strategically | 'Strategic' is an adjective; use adverb 'strategically' to modify the verb 'think'. |
| In this modern days | In these modern days | 'Days' is plural, so use 'these' instead of 'this'. |
| get subscription | gain subscribers | For online streaming, 'gain subscribers' is more appropriate than 'get subscription'. |
| creates entertainment to the viewers | provides entertainment for the viewers | Correct verb-preposition collocation: 'provide for' not 'create to'. |
| It all depends how one use it | It all depends on how one uses it | Preposition 'on' is needed after 'depends'. Subject-verb agreement: 'one' requires 'uses'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| shade light | shed light | Incorrect idiom; 'shed light' means to clarify or explain. |
| pass through stress | experience stress | 'Experience stress' is more standard and natural than 'pass through stress'. |
| dire consequences | serious consequences | 'Dire' is overly dramatic; 'serious' is more neutral and appropriate for academic writing. |
| earn some amount of money | earn money | Redundant; 'some amount' is unnecessary. Use 'earn money' for conciseness. |
| modern days | modern times | 'Modern times' is a more common and precise phrase. |
| drains the social skills | impairs social skills | 'Impairs' is more precise than 'drains' for describing the reduction of social skills. |
| introvert | socially withdrawn | 'Introvert' is a noun; use the adjective phrase 'socially withdrawn' to describe behavior. |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Video games essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria β with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay presents a clear position that benefits outweigh drawbacks, but the arguments are not fully developed or extended. Both benefits and drawbacks are mentioned, but there is insufficient analysis or specific examples to support the comparison.
Examples
Benefits such as stress relief and earning money are stated, but not elaborated with how they significantly outweigh drawbacks like time consumption and social skill drainage. The conclusion is present but lacks a reinforced evaluation based on the discussion.
How to Improve
Extend each point with detailed examples and explanations. Directly compare benefits and drawbacks to justify the position. Ensure a balanced discussion before concluding that one side outweighs the other.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion is weakened by repetitive phrasing, pronoun errors, and limited use of linking devices.
Examples
The introduction repeats parts of the question awkwardly. Transitions like 'To begin with' and 'Additionally' are used, but within paragraphs, ideas are not smoothly connected (e.g., 'In this modern days people like ishowspeed...'). Pronoun errors ('there' for 'their') affect clarity.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, consequently) accurately. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and logical flow. Proofread to correct pronoun and reference errors for better clarity.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with several spelling and word choice errors. Some informal expressions are used, and there is limited range of topic-specific lexicon.
Examples
'relive there tension' should be 'relieve their tension'; 'shade light on' should be 'shed light on'; 'ishowspeed' is not properly introduced. Words like 'importance', 'strategic', and 'dire' are used but not always accurately.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning and using topic-related terms (e.g., 'cognitive skills', 'addiction', 'streaming platforms'). Use a dictionary to check spelling and collocations. Avoid informal language and strive for precision in word choice.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors that sometimes obscure meaning. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with attempts at complexity but inaccuracies in subject-verb agreement, pronouns, and punctuation.
Examples
'video games helps' (should be 'help'); 'someone are making' (should be 'is making'); 'making him or her to be an introvert' (should be 'making him or her introvert'). Punctuation is inconsistent, such as missing commas in compound sentences.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, pronoun usage, and article placement. Practice constructing complex sentences with appropriate conjunctions and punctuation. Seek feedback on written work to identify recurring errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
It is often observed in several nations that people are choosing to live in solitude, as compared to the people before. I belived that this a positive developme...
02
People nowadays prefer to have adventurous and thrilling activities on their holidays, rather than relaxing in a distant place. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.
As we move further into the twenty-first century, it has been observed that due to modernisation and globalisation travelling has become more popular trend in r...
03
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.ο»Ώο»Ώ
It has been observed that industries and business workplaces could be replace from city to natives for solving the traffic jam and housing issues. It has both a...
04
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
In few nations, nowadays many people are choosing to stay alone than before. From my perspective, it is a positive development because a man can live independen...
05
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.ο»Ώο»Ώ
Many people used to say that moving geant organistion and firms with their employees far the cities can resolve problems with trafic and accomodation in large t...