Achieving a Band 5 in your IELTS Writing Task 2 essay on video games indicates some understanding but highlights notable grammar and clarity issues. This essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks but struggles with coherence and vocabulary choices. Here's a deeper look at how to enhance your writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Video games · 40 min
Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment, or even a useful way to learn new skills. However, others argue that video games have a negative impact on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User. The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of video games, meeting the word count requirement with 288 words. However, it lacks depth in the argumentation and clarity in presenting ideas. The essay needs more structured development of ideas and better grammar and vocabulary usage.
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In Modern time, childrens were liked to play video games some people opinion are it is not benefical source of entertainment while others are in favour . Their school of thoughts are games helped in their learning skills. It has both prons and cons which i will discuss in following paragraphs.
On the one side , childrens are engage in playing videos games most of their leisure time or its not wrong if am saying some kids literally played whole day which has bad and negative impact on their physical and mental health as well as they make them lazy because of sitting all the time on same place . Their schedule will badly effect them in future too they will be less talktive and have minimal interaction to people so, their may be a chance that they will not fit in society Additionally , their opinion will not matched with the society. Furthermore, by playing visual games more than 4 hours a day can effest their eye sight too and made them stubborn . In some cases childrens did not followed their parents instructions.
On the other hand, it has a positive side childrens learn many new and useful skills by playing games . Games helped in their cognitive and problem solving skills they can find ways to take out of them from different problems. That will also help to increase the speed to achive targets in real life.
To Conclude, their are more drawbacks than benefits of playing visual games .Parents strictly need to control what kind of games their childrens playing are they helpful or benefical form them or not ,however they also need to control their screen time to save from their serious effects.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| prons | pros |
| effest | affect |
| childrens | children |
| benefical | beneficial |
| achive | achieve |
| effect | affect |
Grammatical Mistakes
13 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| In Modern time | In modern times | Use of singular/plural form: 'times' should be plural here |
| childrens were liked to play | children like to play | Incorrect tense and number agreement |
| some people opinion are | some people's opinion is | Possessive form and subject-verb agreement |
| Their school of thoughts are | Their school of thought is | Incorrect expression, 'school of thought' is singular |
| it is not benefical source | it is not a beneficial source | Missing article 'a' |
| childrens are engage | children are engaged | Incorrect verb form, 'engaged' is the correct past participle |
| their schedule will badly effect | their schedule will badly affect | Incorrect verb usage; 'affect' is the proper verb here |
| less talktive and have minimal | less talkative and have minimal | Spelling error and incorrect form for 'talkative' |
| their may be a chance | there may be a chance | Incorrect homophone; 'there' is the proper word |
| their opinion will not matched | their opinion will not match | Tense error; future tense marker 'will' requires base form |
| visual games more than 4 hours a day can effest | visual games more than 4 hours a day can affect | Wrong verb form; 'affect' is the correct verb |
| childrens did not followed | children do not follow | Incorrect tense and agreement |
| their childrens playing are | their children are playing | Incorrect word order and verb form |
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| liked to play | are interested in playing | Too informal; 'are interested in playing' is more formal |
| helped in their learning skills | enhanced their learning skills | More precise verb for academic context |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of video games, providing some relevant examples and explanations.
Examples
Mentions the impact on health and social skills and also cognitive benefits.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed analysis and support for each argument, and ensure a clear stance is taken and maintained throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure of introduction, body, and conclusion, but lacks coherence in idea progression and paragraph division.
Examples
Ideas about health impacts and social skills are somewhat jumbled without clear transitions.
How to Improve
Use clear topic sentences and logical transitions between points. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with some errors in word choice and form.
Examples
Words like 'childrens', 'prons', 'effest' and inaccurate phrases like 'their may be a chance'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary usage, ensuring correct word forms and precise word choices are used.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Frequent grammatical errors and issues with sentence structure make parts of the essay hard to follow.
Examples
Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments ('On the other side', 'their may be a chance').
How to Improve
Focus on mastering basic grammatical structures and proofreading work to correct simple errors in grammar and sentence composition.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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