This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the impacts of video games but struggles with organization and clarity. It presents both positive and negative aspects yet fails to clearly establish a position, affecting its overall coherence. Enhancing these areas will lead to a more persuasive argument.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Video games · 40 min
Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment, or even a useful way to learn new skills. However, others argue that video games have a negative impact on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 259 words (required: 250). It addresses the topic superficially but lacks a clear opinion on whether drawbacks outweigh benefits. Issues with organization, vocabulary, and grammar reduce clarity and impact.
Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Video games essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
There is an ongoing debate about rather video games are a good way of entertainment and it is a great way to gain new skills or it has a bad effect on people specifically children.
Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment , or even a useful way to learn new skills , nowadays a lot of people should practice on video games sometimes specially between the age of 12 to 20 because in this age children start to discover their skills and by practicing video games they can train their brain sells on a high level of pressure while playing competitive games and a huge number of children discover their smartness while playing video games ,even financially because many gamers turned into making a living from gaming sometimes it can reach millions of dollars in competitions.
On the other hand video games has a negative effect on people especially children which leads them to be addicted moreover it causes a lot of other issues such as spending a huge amount of time in front of the screen wish effects the ability to see in the future besides wasting a lot of time instead of doing studying or workout.
Video games can be a way of entertainment and a useful way to gain new skills and a huge number of people that play video games nowadays are improving their skills and some of them even make a living however they must manage their time and limits it so they can avoid the addiction .
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| sells | cells |
| wish | which |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| rather | whether | Incorrect conjunction; 'whether' is used to introduce alternatives in debates. |
| practice on video games | play video games | Preposition error; 'on' should be omitted or replaced with 'with', but 'play' is more idiomatic. |
| between the age of 12 to 20 | between the ages of 12 and 20 | Article and preposition error; 'age' should be plural 'ages', and 'to' should be 'and'. |
| in this age | at this age | Preposition error; 'at' is used for specific ages or life stages. |
| video games has | video games have | Subject-verb agreement; 'video games' is plural, so it requires 'have'. |
| leads them to be addicted | leads them to become addicted | Infinitive error; 'become' is more appropriate than 'be' for describing a process of addiction. |
| wish effects the ability | which affects the ability | Word choice error; 'wish' should be 'which', and 'effects' should be 'affects' as a verb meaning to influence. |
| doing studying or workout | studying or working out | Verb form error; 'studying' does not need 'doing', and 'workout' should be 'working out' for the verb form. |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| good way of entertainment | good form of entertainment | 'Way of' is informal; 'form' is more appropriate in academic writing. |
| a lot of | many | 'A lot of' is informal; use 'many' for countable nouns in formal contexts. |
| specially | especially | 'Specially' is often used for specific purposes; 'especially' means particularly and is more suitable here. |
| smartness | intelligence | 'Smartness' is informal; 'intelligence' is the standard term for cognitive ability. |
| make a living | earn a living | 'Earn a living' is more commonly used and slightly more formal than 'make a living'. |
| has a bad effect | have negative effects | 'Bad' is vague; 'negative' is more precise, and 'effects' should be plural for generality. |
| workout | exercise | 'Workout' is informal as a noun for physical activity; 'exercise' is more appropriate in formal writing. |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Video games essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay presents both benefits and drawbacks of video games but does not explicitly state whether drawbacks outweigh benefits. The opinion is implied in the conclusion but not clearly argued or developed throughout.
Examples
The introduction rephrases the question without taking a stance. The conclusion suggests managing time to avoid addiction, implying benefits can be enjoyed with caution, but no decisive position is given.
How to Improve
Clearly state your position in the introduction (e.g., 'In my opinion, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks' or vice versa). Develop each argument with specific examples and ensure each paragraph supports your overall opinion. Address the 'outweigh' aspect directly.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but paragraphing is poor and cohesive devices are minimal. Ideas are not logically connected, leading to awkward flow.
Examples
The first body paragraph is a single long run-on sentence with multiple commas. The transition between benefits and drawbacks is abrupt ('On the other hand'), and the conclusion lacks linking words to summarize effectively.
How to Improve
Use separate paragraphs for distinct ideas (e.g., one for benefits, one for drawbacks). Start each paragraph with a topic sentence. Use cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' 'therefore' to link ideas. Ensure the conclusion restates the opinion clearly.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, with spelling errors and informal expressions. Word choice is repetitive and imprecise, reducing the clarity of arguments.
Examples
Incorrect: 'brain sells' (should be 'brain cells'), 'smartness' (should be 'intelligence'), 'wish effects' (should be 'which affects'). Informal phrases like 'turned into making a living' are used.
How to Improve
Expand topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'cognitive skills,' 'addiction,' 'screen time'). Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find accurate terms. Avoid informal language and practice spelling common words correctly.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammar errors are frequent, including subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure issues. Errors sometimes impede understanding.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'video games has a negative effect' (should be 'have'). Punctuation: comma splices throughout (e.g., long sentences joined by commas). Incorrect word usage: 'rather' instead of 'whether,' 'wish' instead of 'which.'
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries. Practice writing complex sentences correctly. Use punctuation appropriately to separate ideas. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.
It has been observed that industries and business workplaces could be replace from city to natives for solving the traffic jam and housing issues. It has both a...
02
People nowadays prefer to have adventurous and thrilling activities on their holidays, rather than relaxing in a distant place. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.
There is a lot of debate between citizen about people who going out on holidays and made some adventuous rather than getting some rest in their homes. while com...
03
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
People preferred to live alone these days than before is because they are many factors before making a decision to move out. For the present generation, the wo...
04
Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment, or even a useful way to learn new skills. However, others argue that video games have a negative impact on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? Write at least 250 words.
Digital Age has become more progressive in this century. Video Games can be compared from 1980's to the present day modern technology. The more it innovates its...
05
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
It is often observed in several nations that people are choosing to live in solitude, as compared to the people before. I belived that this a positive developme...