This Band 6.5 IELTS essay discusses the role of parents as the best teachers for children. While the ideas are clear, there are notable cohesion and lexical resource issues that could be improved to enhance clarity and depth in arguments. Addressing these will help future IELTS candidates achieve higher scores.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Children · 40 min
Parents serve as the best teachers for their children. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the reasons for your stance and support it with examples.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task appropriately, presenting a clear agreement with supported reasons and examples. It meets the word count requirement of 292 words (minimum 250). However, lexical and grammatical inaccuracies, along with some cohesion issues, prevent higher scores. The development of ideas could be more detailed and nuanced.
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Many people believe that parents act as the finest tutors for their children. I agree with this sentiment because parents have a stronger bond with their upbringing and can teach their children life lessons on a daily basis. The moral lessons that parents give to their children would have a bigger impact on their lives.
In a household, a family would have a strong bond with each other. Parents and their children tend to have a deeper connection than school teachers with their students. It is easier to shape children's personalities if the parents are the ones to do so. Consequently, parents will serve as the best teachers to give life lessons to their children. For example, parents who have seen their son from year to year would know his personality better than anyone. As a result, the parents would know the better approach to teach him life lessons like respecting others, not giving up easily, and focusing on his own path.
In addition, parents are more able to teach their upbringing every day and at any time, with more lessons to teach on a daily basis. This is because they practically interact with each other every single day and know each other better than others. For instance, a girl who made a mess in the kitchen tends to be scolded by his parents and will acknowledge her mistake. This will result in the child remembering her mistakes and not repeating them.
In conclusion, parents serve as the best teachers for their children because of the strong bond they have. Moreover, parents tend live with their children, making it easier to teach them every day. I believe this will cause children to have their parents as the best tutors in their lives.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| with their upbringing | with their children | Incorrect prepositional phrase; 'upbringing' is not an entity to bond with. |
| a family would have a strong bond with each other | family members have a strong bond with each other | Subject-verb agreement and pronoun consistency; 'family' is singular but 'each other' implies plural. |
| than school teachers with their students | than school teachers do with their students | Incomplete comparison; need verb for clarity. |
| the better approach | a better approach | Article misuse; 'better' is comparative and typically used with 'a' in this context. |
| teach their upbringing | teach their children | Incorrect object; 'upbringing' is not teachable. |
| know each other better than others | know each other better than others do | Ambiguous comparison; need to specify the action. |
| scolded by his parents | scolded by her parents | Pronoun agreement; 'girl' requires feminine pronoun. |
| parents tend live | parents tend to live | Missing infinitive 'to' after 'tend'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| bigger impact | greater impact | Informal; 'greater' is more appropriate for abstract nouns like 'impact'. |
| from year to year | over the years | Informal and vague; use a more precise phrase. |
| like | such as | Informal for introducing examples; 'such as' is preferred in formal writing. |
| practically | regularly | Ambiguous; 'regularly' clearly indicates frequency. |
| cause | lead | 'Cause' can be strong; 'lead' is more neutral and appropriate in this context. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The writer clearly agrees with the statement and provides relevant reasons and examples. The response is on-topic and sufficiently developed, but the arguments are somewhat simplistic and lack depth or consideration of counterarguments.
Examples
Examples include parents knowing their son's personality to teach life lessons, and a girl being scolded for making a mess in the kitchen. These illustrate points but are not elaborated in detail.
How to Improve
To improve, expand on examples with more specific details, and consider addressing potential opposing views (e.g., the role of professional teachers) to create a more balanced and nuanced argument.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, but there are minor issues with pronoun consistency and cohesion between sentences.
Examples
Transitions like 'In addition' and 'In conclusion' are used appropriately. However, in paragraph 2, 'his parents' is used for a son, while in paragraph 3, 'his parents' is incorrectly used for a girl, affecting clarity.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'as a result') to enhance flow. Ensure pronoun agreement and improve paragraph linking for smoother transitions.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication and has some inaccuracies. There is repetition of key phrases, and word choice is occasionally incorrect.
Examples
Incorrect use of 'upbringing' (e.g., 'parents have a stronger bond with their upbringing' should refer to 'children'). Repetition of 'life lessons' and 'teach every day.' Simple vocabulary like 'strong bond' is used without variation.
How to Improve
Increase lexical range by using synonyms (e.g., 'guardians' for parents, 'impart knowledge' for teach). Ensure accurate word choice in context and avoid repetition to demonstrate a wider vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
Grammar is generally understandable but contains several errors. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex sentences, affecting range and accuracy.
Examples
Grammatical errors include: 'parents have a stronger bond with their upbringing' (incorrect noun usage), 'a girl ... tends to be scolded by his parents' (pronoun error), and 'parents tend live with their children' (missing 'to' after 'tend').
How to Improve
Practice using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., complex and compound sentences). Focus on grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement, pronoun consistency, and correct verb forms (e.g., infinitives).
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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