This band 6.5 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas and its impact on traffic and housing. While the candidate partially agrees, the essay suffers from clarity issues and underdeveloped examples, which affect its overall effectiveness.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
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Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (289 words) and addresses the task with a balanced partial agreement, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of relocating businesses to rural areas. However, arguments are underdeveloped with vague examples, and there are noticeable language errors in spelling, word choice, and grammar, which limit clarity and precision.
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Over the past decade, there has been growing concer about whether relocating big business and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could assist to solve the problems with traffic congestion and housing in major cities. I partly agree with this opinion as it has both positive and negative effects.
On the one hand, relocating companies to rural areas could reduce the traffic congestion as fewer people would need to use transport daily. In addition, it could also be a beneficial solution for the issue of housing. Moving industries outside cities could decrease the demand for housing, which could help to reduce prices. For example, in many countries where companies were located in rural areas, the price on housing is usually lower. Moreover, cities such as the New York, London, Tokyo and many cities in Europe have high cost in housing due to the industries located there.
On the other hand, it also has a few major disadvantages such as threats to the environment in rural areas, and it also demonstrate damages in urban economy. Firs of all, building industries in rural ares couls harm the nature due to pollution, deforestation and carbon dioxide emissions. For example, businesses and major industries in rural areas could be detrimental to the environment as by using cars which leads to the carbon dioxide emissions and deforestations. Secondly, if to relocate companies from urban areas they then may accure economical instability such as cities could lose tax revenue and employment opportunities.
In conclusion, despite the fact that the relocating companies to rural areas has some advantages such as less traffic congestions and low prices in housing, it also has some drawbacks such as detrimental effect to the environment and economy.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| concer | concern |
| ares | areas |
| couls | could |
| Firs | First |
| accure | incur |
| deforestations | deforestation |
Grammatical Mistakes
6 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| could assist to solve | could assist in solving | Incorrect verb construction; 'assist to' is not standard; use 'assist in' with gerund |
| it also demonstrate damages | it also demonstrates damage | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' is singular, so 'demonstrates'; 'damage' is uncountable here |
| if to relocate companies | if companies are relocated | Incorrect infinitive structure; use passive voice for clarity |
| may accure economical instability | may incur economic instability | 'Accure' is misspelled and grammatically incorrect; 'incur' is the correct verb. 'Economical' means thrifty; 'economic' relates to the economy |
| the relocating companies to rural areas has | relocating companies to rural areas has | Article misuse: 'the' is unnecessary before the gerund phrase 'relocating companies' |
| less traffic congestions | less traffic congestion | Noun number error: 'congestion' is uncountable and should not be pluralized |
Vocabulary Improvements
9 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| big business | large businesses | Informal term; 'large businesses' or 'major corporations' is more academic |
| use transport | use transportation | Wrong collocation; 'transport' as a noun is less common; 'transportation' is preferred for systems |
| beneficial solution for the issue | effective solution to the issue | Incorrect preposition; 'solution to' is the standard collocation |
| price on housing | housing prices | Incorrect preposition; 'housing prices' or 'price of housing' is standard |
| high cost in housing | high housing costs | Awkward phrasing; 'housing costs' is the common and more precise term |
| damages in urban economy | damage to the urban economy | Wrong preposition; 'damage to' is the correct collocation |
| harm the nature | harm the environment | Vague term; 'environment' is more precise in the context of pollution and industrial impact |
| economical instability | economic instability | Word choice error; 'economical' means cost-effective; 'economic' relates to the economy |
| detrimental effect to | detrimental effect on | Incorrect preposition; 'effect on' is the standard usage |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The candidate presents a clear position (partly agree) and relevant ideas on traffic, housing, environment, and economy. However, arguments lack depth and specific examples, reducing the effectiveness of the response.
Examples
Vague references such as 'in many countries where companies were located in rural areas, the price on housing is usually lower' without naming specific cases. Economic points like tax revenue are mentioned but not elaborated.
How to Improve
Develop each point with detailed explanations and concrete examples (e.g., cite real cities or studies). Explain how relocation directly reduces congestion or affects urban economies, rather than stating general effects.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for pros and cons, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is occasionally disrupted by awkward transitions and minor errors.
Examples
Correct use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', but misspelling 'Firs of all' and abrupt shifts between ideas (e.g., from environment to economy without smooth linking).
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently') accurately. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly by linking sentences to the main topic and using pronouns effectively.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic but includes several spelling errors and imprecise word choices, which occasionally hinder communication.
Examples
Misspellings: 'concer' (concern), 'business' (businesses), 'accure' (incur). Inappropriate phrases: 'price on housing' (should be 'price of housing'), 'cost in housing' (cost of housing), 'demonstrate damages' (cause damage).
How to Improve
Expand topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'urban sprawl', 'infrastructure', 'sustainable development'). Proofread for spelling and use collocations correctly by reading model essays or using dictionaries.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The candidate attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical errors are frequent, affecting clarity and accuracy.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'it also demonstrate damages' (should be 'demonstrates' or 'causes'). Incorrect structures: 'if to relocate companies' (should be 'if companies are relocated'), 'they then may accure economical instability' (should be 'they may incur economic instability').
How to Improve
Focus on verb forms, articles, and prepositions. Practice complex sentences with clauses (e.g., relative clauses) and review common errors through grammar exercises or writing feedback.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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