This Band 6.5 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses and addresses key issues of coherence and organization. While it presents valid arguments in favor of moving companies to rural areas, it faces challenges with abrupt idea shifts and a lack of clearer connections between points.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of relocating businesses to rural areas and mostly aligns with the requirement of agreeing or disagreeing. The fluency is generally smooth, but minor organizational issues and language errors limit the higher score.
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A big city employee has to face many problems, such as traffic and accommodation. To resolve these problems, some individuals argue that the big company and its staff should be shifted to the countryside. I totally agree with this because it will save money and time for both employees and employers, and will increase their productivity.
Firstly, if companies moved to rural areas, it would be easy to cope with traffic. This is because there is less traffic, and they do not have to experience any traffic. As a result, it will save their time. The number of cars in the countryside is far less than that in the city. For instance, recently, many enormous company moved their business outside of Dhaka city near Gazipur village, where they do not have to experience any traffic. They can travel 3 times faster than in Dhaka city. Moreover, it saves workers valuable time, and they can spend more time with their family or just relaxing.
Secondly, in the rural areas, it is much easier to find a house or an apartment for living with minimal cost. Furthermore, they do not have to experience a shortage of water, gas, or other necessary things. In cities, people have to share their rooms with colleagues or other people, which makes them uncomfortable and causes them to lose their privacy. If they live near their workplace, they do not have to journey anymore. For instance, most of the rural workers live near their offices, which helps them to save transport costs.
Finally, rural areas are healthier and safer than cities, which increases workers' mental well-being. While there are some drawbacks to shifting business to rural areas, such as a shortage of skilled workers, distribution of the product, and availability of customers.
In conclusion, although there are some demerits of locating business in the countryside, I firmly believe that dealing with traffic and accommodation brings more benefits.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
1 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| many enormous company moved | many enormous companies moved | Subject-verb agreement: 'company' should be plural to match 'many' |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The task is addressed well, with the main points discussed and an appropriate stance provided. Examples are relevant to the points made.
Examples
The essay provides reasons for relocating businesses, such as less traffic congestion and better housing conditions, with examples from Gazipur village.
How to Improve
Consider elaborating on potential counterarguments or addressing possible disadvantages more thoroughly to demonstrate a balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is generally well-organized, but there are some abrupt shifts in ideas and incomplete connections between points.
Examples
The transition to discussing the health benefits in rural areas feels sudden and lacks a clear link to the previous paragraph.
How to Improve
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph logically leads to the next.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
The essay uses appropriate but somewhat limited vocabulary, and there is some repetition of ideas.
Examples
Phrases like 'traffic congestion' and 'workers' mental well-being' show an attempt at varied vocabulary.
How to Improve
Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition to better convey nuances in your argument.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
There is a reasonable range of grammatical structures used, but errors in sentence structure and complex sentences occur.
Examples
Errors are present in sentences like 'many enormous company moved their business' which affects clarity.
How to Improve
Focus on practicing complex sentence structures and subject-verb agreement to increase grammatical accuracy and range.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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