This Band 6.5 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas. While it presents relevant arguments, it suffers from grammatical errors and a need for clearer transitions.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task effectively, providing arguments on both sides of the issue of relocating businesses to rural areas. While the arguments are generally clear, some points could be further developed for higher clarity and impact. The essay meets the word count requirement, although grammatical errors and inconsistencies disrupt the flow.
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There is an ongoing debate about whether large business corporations and industries should be relocated from city centers to remote areas because it can help reduce problems with traffic and also issues related to accommodation. Although moving business places to rural ares may imrove the quality of city life , I largely disagree with this view because I believe that we should not destroy the only place that is environmentally friendly ,which is the countryside .
On the one hand , the action of moving business industries to countrysides can be effective in some cases. Many people living in city centers complain that they find it hard to reach their destination especially during peak hours because of traffic congestion , something they find really uncomfortable. It means that if some industries are located in rural areas there may not be many cars in streets as there are now. Furthermore, doing business away from urban regions can insure that people will not struggle with finding accommodation to live with the fact that there will be plenty of spaces in countrysides too.
On the other hand , this action may lead to negative consequences .Firstly , cities are already polluted and not safe which means countrysides are the only places which are clean and safe with fresh air and close to nature. We should save the nature and not harm it just in order to produce something or develop business. Secondly , in rural areas there may not be such opportunities as in cities making it hard to produce everything exactly as they want because a lack of enough instruments tools , materials. Also ,it is not easy for companies to make profit or make their products well-known in remote areas . For example ,no matter how good the quality is , there are not many customer who are willing to buy their goods in rural regions.
In conclusion, while the act of moving business organizations and indutries to countryside can support traffic free city life with enough accommodation spaces , I believe it may harm nature and environment in remote areas ,making the life of people living there hard.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| ares | areas |
| imrove | improve |
| indutries | industries |
| countrysides | countryside |
| insure | ensure |
| customer | customers |
Grammatical Mistakes
3 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| although moving business places to rural ares may imrove | although moving business places to rural areas may improve | Subject-verb agreement: should use 'areas' with 'improve'. |
| not many cars in streets as there are now | not as many cars on the streets as there are now | Article use: use 'as' for comparison. |
| making the life of people living there hard | making the lives of people living there hard | Plural noun: 'lives' is the correct plural form. |
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| produce something or develop business | manufacture goods or develop industries | Use more specific vocabulary for academic tone. |
| companies to make profit | companies to generate profit | Use more precise business terminology. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The essay addresses the question and provides a clear stance with arguments for both agreement and disagreement with the proposed solution.
Examples
Examples of advantages include reduced traffic congestion and solving housing issues. Disadvantages include environmental concerns and lack of opportunities in rural areas.
How to Improve
Further develop arguments with specific examples or data to strengthen the response.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay is generally well-organized, but suffers from abrupt transitions and occasional disconnected ideas.
Examples
Transition between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance readability.
How to Improve
Use more cohesive devices and linking words to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety and precision at times. Some phrases are awkwardly constructed.
Examples
Phrases like 'do business away from urban regions' could be more concisely expressed.
How to Improve
Expand the range of vocabulary and use more precise language to express ideas clearly.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
While the essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, there are frequent minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues.
Examples
Mistakes include 'countrysides' instead of 'countryside,' and misplaced commas.
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, particularly with articles, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Practice writing complex sentences accurately.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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