This Band 6.5 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses from urban to rural areas. While the response presents solid ideas, it struggles with grammatical accuracy and the development of arguments. Review this feedback to understand how to enhance your writing skills.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the topic adequately, offering a clear position on the relocation of businesses to rural areas. However, it could benefit from more thorough development of ideas and improved grammatical accuracy.
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Overcrowded urban city has been facing sever traffic congestion and housing problems. Some people think that these problems should be managed within the city, while I strongly believe that relocating big businesses and industries and their workers to the rural areas could be the best solution.
The major primary reason for my opinion is that relocating business to under developed areas would facilites those area with numerous opportunities. People migrate to urbanized city in order to seek better education, health facilities and job opportunities. When these opportunities are available in the rural ares, people would not shift, which reduces the number of population in cities. This would help in solving traffic congestion and housing issues. For example; if big businesses are run in the rural area then it would provide the job opportunities to the local people. This would stop people from migrating to urban area for better job opportunities.
Another important point is that bussinesses and industries are the main reason for facing the issues of traffic congestion as the raw material are frequently transported from thr rural area. Transportation are done by the heavy truck which cause sever traffic jam. Thus, if businesses are relocated in the rural area where raw materials are available then transportation by heavy trucks would be unnecessary. This will eventually lead into low traffic congestion.
In conclusion, although some people beleive that big businesses should be in cities, i think it would be more benificial and solution to major problems of traffic congestion and housing, if relocated. As it would increases many facilities in the rural area, making it unnecessary to migrate from their orginal place.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
9 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| sever | severe |
| facilites | facilitates |
| ares | areas |
| bussinesses | businesses |
| thr | the |
| beleive | believe |
| benificial | beneficial |
| increases | increase |
| orginal | original |
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Overcrowded urban city has been facing | Overcrowded urban cities have been facing | Subject-verb agreement: 'urban city' should be plural to match 'have' |
| is that relocating business to | is that relocating businesses to | Noun number agreement: 'business' should be plural to match context |
| under developed areas | underdeveloped areas | Compound word error: 'underdeveloped' should be one word |
| transportation are done | transportation is done | Subject-verb agreement: 'transportation' is singular and requires 'is' |
| lead into | lead to | Incorrect preposition: 'lead to' is the correct phrase |
| i think | I think | Capitalization: 'I' should always be capitalized |
| if relocated | if they are relocated | Ellipsis needs to be explicit for clarity: 'they' refers to 'big businesses' |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The response addresses the task and presents a relevant position. The arguments are mostly clear but could be further developed.
Examples
The essay discusses the benefits of relocating businesses to rural areas to reduce urban migration and traffic congestion.
How to Improve
To improve, the response could provide more detailed examples and analysis for each point discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized, with ideas that are generally well connected. Paragraphing is adequate but could be improved.
Examples
The structure follows a typical introduction, body, and conclusion format. Transition words like 'another important point' help guide the reader.
How to Improve
Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of linking devices and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary for the task, though some errors in word choice and spelling are present.
Examples
Words like 'facilites,' 'benificial,' and 'sever' show incorrect spelling and usage.
How to Improve
Review vocabulary choices to ensure correct usage and spelling, and aim to use a wider range of academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay contains a variety of sentence structures but includes frequent grammatical errors, affecting comprehension.
Examples
Mistakes are evident in phrases like 'sever traffic congestion' and 'bussinesses and industries are the main reason for facing the issues.'
How to Improve
Focus on sentence structure and grammar, including subject-verb agreement and article usage, to improve accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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