This Band 6.5 IELTS essay addresses the relocation of businesses from urban to rural areas. While it effectively presents balanced arguments, it could improve in structure and the depth of detailed examples.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced discussion, agreeing with the proposition while acknowledging potential drawbacks. The response meets the required word count of 250 words. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples and a clearer structure. The language use demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and grammar, albeit with some errors.
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Transfering big businesses and industries and their labourers from cities to villages can be a good solution for the problems like high traffic and living accomodation. I totally agree with this statement as it also helps to improve the air quality index of the urban areas as their will be less air pollution.
On the one hand, moving bussinesses to villages not only help in traffic congestion but it also provide more space to build housing and accomodation which will result in low cost rents. For example, when industries shift to local areas, people can build their house in industrial area with a very low cost of money. In addition, moving factories to rural areas give opportunity of employment to the villagers. However, they can earn certain amount of money by working in the industries and can improve their standard of living.
On the other hand, when big industries will build their factories in rural area, they will need to cut down the trees and burry many farming land that will result in the deforestation. Moreover, it can also disturb the daily routine of the villagers as they are not habitual to it. The most important factor is it can distruct the healthy environment of village by releasing smoke and industrial chemicals in the environment. This can drop down the quality of the crops which are grown in the farms and can interupt in the method of farming.
In conclusion, it is beneficial to shift big businesses to the rural areas as long as it is not disturbing the village life style. However, when industries will move to rural areas their will be more chance of development in the cities by focusing on the main issues of house rent and traffic jam . Therefore it is essential to take this seriously and consider how it can affect our daily lives.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
7 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| Transfering | Transferring |
| accomodation | accommodation |
| their | there |
| bussinesses | businesses |
| burry | bury |
| distruct | destroy |
| interupt | interrupt |
Grammatical Mistakes
5 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| it also provide | it also provides | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' is singular and requires 'provides' |
| give opportunity | gives the opportunity | Subject-verb agreement: 'moving factories' is singular and requires 'gives'; requires definite article 'the' |
| they can earn certain amount | they can earn a certain amount | Article usage: 'a' is needed before 'certain amount' |
| beneficial to shift big businesses | beneficial to shift big businesses | Awkward phrasing: consider using 'relocate' |
| their will be more | there will be more | Homophone confusion: 'there' is correct instead of 'their' |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| local areas | rural areas | 'Rural' is more specific and appropriate in the context |
| drop down the quality | reduce the quality | The phrase 'reduce the quality' is more precise and formal |
| move to rural areas their will be more chance of development | move to rural areas, there will be more opportunities for development | 'Opportunities for development' is a more precise and formal expression |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the prompt adequately by agreeing with the relocation of businesses to resolve urban issues while raising counterarguments.
Examples
The writer discusses relieving traffic congestion, housing affordability, job opportunities for villagers, and possible negative impacts like deforestation.
How to Improve
To improve, the essay could provide more detailed examples and explore each point with more depth and clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay presents ideas in a logical order, but some ideas are not fully developed or clearly connected.
Examples
The transition between ideas, like moving industries' impact on housing and employment, could be clearer.
How to Improve
Enhance cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to clearly connect ideas and improve the overall flow.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
A satisfactory range of vocabulary is used, but there are some errors and room for more precise word choice.
Examples
Mistakes like 'distruct the healthy environment' and 'interupt in the method of farming' indicate misuse of terms.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary range and ensure precise word choices by learning more context-specific language.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6.5
Evaluation
A variety of sentence structures are used; however, there are noticeable errors involving subject-verb agreement and word choice.
Examples
Errors such as 'their will be' and 'industries will build their factories' detract from accuracy.
How to Improve
Pay attention to common grammatical errors by revising basic rules of subject-verb agreement and verb tense.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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