This Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the relocation of industries to rural areas. While it presents both pros and cons, the analysis lacks depth and has noticeable language errors. Enhancing specific examples and improving grammatical accuracy could elevate the overall quality.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (264 words) and addresses the topic by presenting both advantages and disadvantages of relocating businesses to rural areas. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial, and the extent of agreement is not fully developed. Language errors in vocabulary and grammar are noticeable, but the structure is generally clear.
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I highly agree to the general idea of relocating giant corporations and industries along with their workers from urban areas to the country side. If implemented, this could be an excellent sollution to reduce traffic congestions and major housing crisis in metropolitan cities.
To commence, relocating industrial hubs far away from densely populated areas will undeniably alleviate stress and vehicle count on the usually bustling city streets. For instance, there will be fewer 8-16 wheeled massive transport trucks on the major roads and intersections. Additionally, the city will not experience morning or evening traffic rushes when offices usually begin or end for the day. Simultaneously, as a large percentile of the city population would have to move closer to industrial or corporate zones, the city would likely see lower rent and overall housing prices. Consequently, this could help to make life in metropolitan areas significantly cheaper and improve quality of life.
Unfortunately, implementing this idea could be extremely costly both in terms of labour and finances. Additionally, relocating corporations might just push away the traffic and housing crisis elsewhere if not calculated correctly. In other words, we could see long stretches of highways totally gridlocked in heavy traffic instead of the city roads. Lastly, constructing new industry around the country side could have negative effects on the environment as well.
Overall, the idea of relocating large businesses and industries and their workers away from urban areas to rural areas has its advantages and drawbacks. But, in my opinion, the advantages outweigh the issues and could have a lasting positive impact on the local traffic.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| sollution | solution |
| country side | countryside |
Grammatical Mistakes
3 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| traffic congestions | traffic congestion | 'congestion' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized. |
| a large percentile | a large percentage | 'Percentile' is a statistical term; 'percentage' is more appropriate for referring to a part of a whole. |
| constructing new industry around the country side | constructing new industries in the countryside | 'Industry' should be pluralized to refer to multiple businesses; 'countryside' is one word, and 'in' is the correct preposition. |
Vocabulary Improvements
8 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| highly agree | strongly agree | 'Strongly' is the more common collocation with 'agree' in formal writing. |
| giant corporations | large corporations | 'Giant' is somewhat informal; 'large' is more appropriate for academic writing. |
| traffic rushes | rush hours | 'Rush hours' is the standard term for periods of heavy traffic. |
| begin or end for the day | start or end the workday | More precise phrasing for office hours. |
| cheaper | more affordable | 'Cheaper' is informal; 'more affordable' is better for formal contexts. |
| push away | shift | 'Push away' is vague; 'shift' more accurately describes moving the problem to another location. |
| calculated correctly | planned properly | 'Calculated' is not the best word for this context; 'planned' is more appropriate. |
| constructing new industry | establishing new industries | 'Constructing' implies physical building, while 'establishing' is broader; 'industry' should be plural for multiple businesses. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The writer states agreement with the idea but provides a balanced view by discussing advantages and drawbacks. The response addresses the task, but the analysis lacks depth and specific examples to fully explore 'to what extent'.
Examples
Advantages include reducing traffic congestion and housing prices, while drawbacks mention cost and environmental impact. However, points are not elaborated with detailed evidence or consequences.
How to Improve
Develop each point with more specific examples, data, or real-world scenarios. Clearly justify the extent of agreement or disagreement by weighing advantages against drawbacks more thoroughly.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Logical progression is evident, but cohesion within paragraphs could be improved with smoother transitions.
Examples
Linking words like 'To commence', 'Additionally', and 'Overall' are used, but the second body paragraph jumps between cost, traffic redistribution, and environmental effects without seamless connections.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas within sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and transitions logically to the next.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic but contains errors and imprecise word choice. Some spelling mistakes and awkward phrasing reduce clarity.
Examples
'Sollution' for 'solution', 'percentile' for 'percentage', 'country side' for 'countryside'. Phrases like 'giant corporations' are acceptable but not sophisticated.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary range with more precise and academic terms. Proofread for spelling errors and use context-appropriate words. Practice using collocations related to urban and rural issues.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
Grammar is generally understandable but has noticeable errors in prepositions, word forms, and sentence structure. Both simple and complex sentences are attempted, but accuracy needs improvement.
Examples
'I highly agree to' should be 'I highly agree with', 'traffic congestions' should be 'traffic congestion', 'could be an excellent sollution to reduce' has a spelling error and awkward infinitive use.
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, especially prepositions, article usage, and noun-verb agreement. Practice writing complex sentences with subordinate clauses while maintaining accuracy. Proofread to correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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