Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Relocating Industries Essay: Clarity Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

📅 Published May 2026⏱️ 40 minutes recommended📝 333 words · Band 6.5
This Band 6.5 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of industries from urban to rural areas. While it presents relevant arguments, clarity and coherence could be improved. Key areas for enhancement include the development of ideas and the use of transitional phrases.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min


Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write at least 250 words.





6.5Band

Overall Band Score

333 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · AI Evaluated

7
Task Response
6
Grammar
6.5
Vocabulary
6.5
Coherence

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Overall Band Score
6.5
Task Response
7
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
6
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
6.5
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5

Summary: The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of relocating big businesses from urban to rural areas. The arguments are supported with examples, but some ideas lack clarity and are not fully developed. While coherence is maintained, some transitional phrases are awkward. Lexical resources are adequate but not varied, and grammatical mistakes are present.

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Student Answer
Real submission • 333 words • Annotated
333 wordsBand 6.5WritingPart2
● Spelling● Grammar● Vocabulary

In recent years, urban planning has become a major concern. A number of individuals presume that transforming big businesses, industries, and their labors from cities to rural areas could be a viable solution for the issue of traffic congestion and housing in major towns. I firmly agree with the statement because of drawbacks of increasing population density such as health problems, envrionmental pollution.

On the one hand, health is a fundamental issue for humans. Without a good health people cannot do work effectively. There are many benefits of replacing business and industries to countryside. One of the essential advantages is protecting environment from pollution. Environment is mostly polluted from various factories, vehicles, buildings of houses. For example, a factory of juice needs many equipments, workers, and machines which spread the things of pollution throughout a city.
Moreover, the other factor is village areas will be developed. By placing businesses, industries, people and officers will transfer those areas and government will increase the facilities of transports, schools. To illustrate this point, a research was conducted by National Education Institution on the causes of good result of higher secondary exam in Brazil. The study revealed that by increasing skilled teacher, and calssroom facilities due to big industries and offces, 90% dropped students returned and got the first class in 2002.

Nevertheless, it is important to acknoweledge that relocating also has some limitations. One of the indispensable drawbacks is lack of necessary elements for industries and businesses. For instance, a machine which is available in towns. As a result, transport cost will rise. The other contributor is possibilities of polluting water, environment of rural areas. For example, constructing large buildings, factories, garments, people and area will be affcted severely.

In my point, there are some disadvantages of relocation. However, government should take some effective measures to remedy the problems such as making laws for maintaining the environmental and health issue.

In conclusion, advantages of transformation of businesses and industries from urban to rural outweigh the disadvantages.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

6 errors
Misspelled WordCorrected Word
envrionmentalenvironmental
equipmentsequipment
calssroomclassroom
offcesoffices
acknoweledgeacknowledge
affctedaffected

Grammatical Mistakes

5 errors
MistakeCorrectionExplanation
Without a good health people cannot do work effectively.Without good health, people cannot work effectively.Article misuse and sentence restructuring: 'a good health' should be 'good health,' and sentence needs a comma for clarity.
By placing businesses, industries, people and officers will transfer those areasBy placing businesses and industries, people and officers will move to those areasMisplaced modifier and incorrect verb: 'transfer' should be 'move to' to make the sentence coherent.
the facilities of transports, schoolstransport and school facilitiesIncorrect collocation: more natural to say 'transport and school facilities.'
90% dropped students returned and got the first class in 2002.90% of the students who had dropped out returned and achieved first class in 2002.Clarification needed for 'dropped students'; should specify 'students who had dropped out' for clearer meaning.
the other contributor is possibilities of polluting water, environment of rural areas.another issue is the possibility of polluting the water and environment in rural areas.Correct article and sentence structure: 'the other contributor is' should be 'another issue is' and requires proper article use and sentence restructuring.

Vocabulary Improvements

4 suggestions
Original Word/PhraseImproved Word/PhraseExplanation
big businesseslarge corporations'Large corporations' is more formal and specific than 'big businesses'.
good healthoptimal health'Optimal health' is a more precise and formal term than 'good health'.
things of pollutionpollutantsThe word 'pollutants' is more precise than 'things of pollution'.
village areasrural areas'Rural areas' is a more formal and commonly used term than 'village areas'.

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response7
Evaluation
The essay addresses the topic effectively, providing a clear position and relevant examples.
Examples
The author discusses environmental pollution and village development as advantages and mentions lack of resources as a disadvantage.
How to Improve
Ensure all points are equally developed and clearly linked to the overall discussion of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay presents ideas in a logical order with paragraphs clearly divided.
Examples
Use of transitional phrases such as 'On the one hand', 'In my point', and 'In conclusion'.
How to Improve
Improve the use of linking words to enhance flow and coherence. Ensure all transitional phrases are natural and suitable for the context.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is appropriate for the task, yet lacks variety and precision at times.
Examples
The use of terms like 'environmental pollution', 'industries', and 'government' fits the topic.
How to Improve
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to better express nuanced ideas and enhance clarity.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay includes a range of sentence structures, but grammatical errors reduce clarity.
Examples
Errors include incorrect verb forms and missing articles, e.g., 'acknoweledge', 'affcted'.
How to Improve
Focus on verb tense consistency and article usage. Proofread to minimize errors and enhance sentence variety.
💡
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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