In this Band 6.5 IELTS essay, we explore the impact of robots and automation on household tasks. While it addresses both positive and negative aspects, it lacks depth in argumentation and clarity in expression. Discover how improving these areas can boost your IELTS score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Technology · 40 min
Robots and automation are expected to play a major role in future homes, performing tasks such as cleaning, cooking, and even providing companionship.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the topic of robots and automation in future homes, providing a balanced viewpoint by discussing both positive and negative aspects. While the essay meets the word count requirement and offers some examples and analysis, it lacks depth in argumentation and could benefit from more detailed examples. Additionally, there are occasional issues with clarity and grammatical structures.
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We are now living in the era of artificial intelligence. The dependency of getting daily work done relies on robots and automation systems; not only this, but people also need robots for companionship. There are some advantages and disadvantages, as robots and automation will play a vital role in daily household work, as well as giving companies. I think this can be a negative development.
On the positive side, performing daily tasks such as cleaning and cooking will help people make their lives easier. People can have more time to complete their work. It will help them not only in saving time but also in saving energy. In terms of providing fellowship, it can have some positive sides. The age group over 60 or 70, who have lost their partner they need someone to talk to or to perform daily life tasks. It is known to us that people cannot live alone. After a certain age, we all need someone to give us company. In this way, older people will not feel lonely, and when they get sick, they can get proper care without asking for anyone's help.
On the negative side, when people get more dependent on robots and automation for fulfilling daily tasks, they become lethargic. Depending too much on robots can harm their creativity. For example, if an automation system has done all the work, people will stop doing brainstorming, which will lead them to think creatively. As a result, their success ratio will be decreased. In addition, if citizens get more involved with technology, there will be no social connection between them, which can play a negative role while they are living in a society.
Overall, depending on robots and automation systems can have several positive sides, but overusing technology can turn into a negative development.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
5 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| The dependency of getting daily work done relies on robots and automation systems; | The process of getting daily work done relies on robots and automation systems, | Word choice: 'Dependency' does not fit logically here; 'the process of getting daily work done' is more appropriate. |
| as well as giving companies. | as well as benefiting companies. | Incomplete phrase: 'giving companies' lacks an object or clear meaning. |
| who have lost their partner they need someone to talk to or to perform daily life tasks. | who have lost their partner need someone to talk to or to help with daily tasks. | Run-on sentence: Missing conjunction or separation between clauses. |
| people will stop doing brainstorming, which will lead them to think creatively. | people will stop brainstorming, which will hinder their ability to think creatively. | Incorrect word form and causation: 'stop doing brainstorming' should be 'stop brainstorming' and 'will lead them to think creatively' contradicts the intended meaning. |
| will be decreased. | will decrease. | Passive form is unnecessary here; use active form for clarity. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| help people make their lives easier | assist people in simplifying their lives | More formal phrasing needed for academic tone. |
| fellowship | companionship | The term 'companionship' is more commonly used in this context than 'fellowship'. |
| success ratio | success rate | The term 'success rate' is the correct collocation. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay answers the question effectively, presenting both positive and negative sides of the development. The conclusion aligns with the thesis presented.
Examples
The essay mentions benefits like time-saving and companionship for the elderly, as well as drawbacks such as increased lethargy and reduced creativity.
How to Improve
To improve, the writer could include more examples and deeper analysis of the implications of robots and automation, enhancing the argument's persuasiveness and relevance.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Ideas are mostly logically ordered, with some use of linking devices.
Examples
The use of 'On the positive side' and 'On the negative side' helps in organizing the essay.
How to Improve
Improvements could include more seamless transitions between ideas and sections to enhance the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
The essay uses a satisfactory range of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, though there is room for increased precision and variety.
Examples
Words like 'companionship' and 'lethargic' are used effectively, but some phrases could be more precise.
How to Improve
Further enhancing your lexical range by incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary would strengthen the essay.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates control over grammar, though there are occasional issues with sentence structure and verb forms.
Examples
Errors such as 'the dependency of getting daily work done' and awkward sentence constructions are present.
How to Improve
Improving grammatical range could involve varying sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement to increase accuracy and readability.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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