Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Adventurous Holidays: Clarity and Grammar Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

In the contemporary setting, individuals are more involved not only in thrilling and adventurous activities on their holidays but also relaxing in a far or overseas place. While people tend to believe that the former is becoming common, I think relaxing and clearing up their mind has become equally popular depending on a person's preference.

On one hand, participating in adventurous activities that offers thrilling experience namely sky diving, hot air ballon, surfing, and driving super cars creates unique experience and creating memories worth to remember. Therefore, it has been made a success by the technological advancement in building modern equipments that were not present earlier .For instance, sky diving technology with a safer parachute has promoted increase involvment among daring people. In addition, travel magazines have reported that skydiving has been introduced to developing countries signifying improved life standard which will lead to active participation.

Consequently, going overseas to the most exciting touring destinations offers an immense benefits to people, by trying new cuisines and coming into contact with people from diverse cultures, this fosters incorporation of wide range of perspectives and changes one's ways of thinking. It is widely prefered by children, women and aged people because it does not involve active physical participation. Furthermore, this is common for people who want a break from work or studies to unwind and take care of their mental well being. As and example, travel companies are now offering cheaper packages attracting people to unique destinations.

In conclusiom, while sureal experience is more prefered by majority of men and some women due to their adventurous nature, old people and children are increasingly travelling to unwind because of luring travel agencies that offers notable discounts.

  In recent years, the travel industry has been promoting the idea that people are more interested in having exciting and adventurous experiences on their holidays, rather than spending time in a relaxing destination. However, this claim may not reflect the reality of people’s preferences for travelling. In this essay, I argue that people still value relaxation as an important aspect of their holidays, and that adventure tourism is not necessarily superior to other forms of travel.

      First, people on holiday may prefer to relax because they want to escape from the stress and pressure of their daily lives. Many people work long hours, face tight deadlines, and deal with various challenges in their personal and professional spheres. Therefore, they may seek a holiday that allows them to unwind, and enjoy quality time with themselves or their loved ones. Relaxing in a distant place can provide them with a sense of calmness and detachment from their problems. 

     Another reason is that people want to appreciate the beauty and diversity of nature and culture. Travelling to a different place can expose them to new sights and experiences that can enrich their knowledge and perspective. Relaxing in a distant place can give them the opportunity to immerse themselves in the local environment, and learn more about the history and traditions of the place. For instance, a study by Booking.com revealed that a great number of travellers wanted to experience new cultures on their trips.

     In conclusion, I disagree with the claim that people, nowadays, prefer thrilling activities on their holidays, rather than relaxing in a distant place. I believe that people still value relaxation as an important aspect of their holidays, and that adventure tourism is not necessarily superior to other forms of travel. People have different preferences for travelling, and they should choose the type of holiday that best suits their interests.