This IELTS Writing Task 2 opinion essay earned a band score of 6. While it clearly agrees that parents are the best teachers, the essay has notable grammar issues and requires more specific examples to strengthen its arguments. Understanding these aspects will help you enhance your writing skills for better results.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Children · 40 min
Parents serve as the best teachers for their children. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the reasons for your stance and support it with examples.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement (304 words) and addresses the prompt by agreeing that parents are the best teachers, providing reasons such as time spent, behavioral influence, and parental responsibility. However, the arguments are not fully developed with specific examples, and there are noticeable issues with grammar, vocabulary, and cohesion that affect clarity and flow.
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The people and environment in which children live in their early life could determine the possibilities of how a child could be shaped into what kind of person they become. In my opinion, parents are the best mentors a child could have from the beginning of their life.
Parents spend the most time with their children, especially in the first couple of years prior to formal education. Children learn vast majority of how to behave to prepare them for society from how their parents behave. Even after school hours, children get pick up by their parents to spend their evening together. Parents have the role to help their children to do their homework, even though the boundaries have to be significantly clear, so parents would not intervene too much on their beloved ones. This also would affects how a child perceives personal boundaries. Children tend to copy what their environment, for instance, they will get used to say thank you if their parents respond that way when they get help from their neighbor or they will not ask personal questions if their parent is not a rude person.
Children do not have the capability to acknowledge their well-being until the prefrontal cortex of their brain is fully developed. So, it is their surroundings, such as the parents, that have the burden and obligation to shaped what person a child could finally be. Nonetheless, people around the children themself, like friends, family, and neighbors, and their daily activities, like watching television and Youtube, may teach something extensively for a child. Children exposed to violence and under-age sex content come from unfortunate clumsiness of the liability of parents nowdays.
In conclusion, the contributing factors may influence children in various aspects of their lifes. Nevertheless, parents play a vital role and carry the burden for their future.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
3 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| nowdays | nowadays |
| lifes | lives |
| Youtube | YouTube |
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| get pick up | are picked up | Passive voice requires past participle; 'get' should be followed by 'picked up'. |
| would affects | would affect | Modal verbs like 'would' must be followed by the base form of the verb. |
| copy what their environment | copy their environment | Incomplete clause; 'what their environment' lacks a verb; use 'copy their environment' to mean imitate the environment. |
| get used to say | get used to saying | After 'used to' meaning accustomed to, 'to' is a preposition and requires a gerund. |
| to shaped what person | to shape what kind of person | Infinitive form 'to shape' is correct; 'what person' is vague, so 'what kind of person' is more precise. |
| the children themself | the children themselves | Reflexive pronoun must agree in number with the subject; 'children' is plural, so 'themselves' is correct. |
| teach something extensively for a child | teach a child extensively | Awkward prepositional phrase; 'for a child' should be 'to a child' or the object should be placed directly. |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| beloved ones | children | Too sentimental and vague; 'children' is direct and appropriate in context. |
| clumsiness | negligence | Incorrect word choice; 'clumsiness' means physical awkwardness, while 'negligence' means lack of care. |
| liability | responsibility | Wrong collocation; 'liability' often refers to legal obligation, whereas 'responsibility' is the duty to care for someone. |
| under-age sex content | age-inappropriate sexual content | Informal and imprecise; 'age-inappropriate sexual content' is more academic and clear. |
| carry the burden | bear the responsibility | 'Carry the burden' is metaphorical and dramatic; 'bear the responsibility' is standard in formal writing. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The response presents a clear position (agreeing) and discusses relevant reasons, but the examples are vague and lack depth. The essay acknowledges other influences but does not explore them thoroughly to strengthen the argument.
Examples
Examples include parents teaching behavior through modeling (e.g., saying thank you) and helping with homework, but these are not elaborated with concrete instances or personal experiences.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed, specific examples to illustrate points, such as a personal anecdote or a well-known study showing parental impact. Ensure each reason is fully explained and linked back to the thesis.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but the logical flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt shifts between ideas. Cohesive devices are limited, and paragraphing could be more effective.
Examples
In the second paragraph, the discussion moves from time spent with children to homework help to personal boundaries without smooth transitions. The conclusion briefly restates the position but does not synthesize arguments effectively.
How to Improve
Use linking words (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'for instance,' 'in contrast') to connect ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that ideas progress logically from one to the next.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for communication but lacks range and precision. There are several spelling errors and awkward word choices that detract from the message.
Examples
Misspellings like 'nowdays' (should be 'nowadays') and 'lifes' (should be 'lives'); awkward phrases such as 'unfortunate clumsiness of the liability' and 'shaped what person a child could finally be'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading model essays and using a thesaurus. Proofread carefully to correct spelling errors and replace imprecise terms with more accurate ones (e.g., use 'responsibility' instead of 'liability' in context).
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, affecting clarity and accuracy. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with mistakes in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and tense usage.
Examples
Errors include 'would affects' (should be 'would affect'), 'to shaped what person' (should be 'to shape what kind of person'), and 'Children do not have the capability to acknowledge their well-being until the prefrontal cortex of their brain is fully developed' (awkward phrasing).
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, particularly verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses, and proofread to identify and correct errors. Consider using grammar check tools for feedback.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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