Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Best Teachers: Grammar and Cohesion Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

The people and environment in which children live in their early life could determine the possibilities of how a child could be shaped into what kind of person they become. In my opinion, parents are the best mentors a child could have from the beginning of their life.

Parents spend the most time with their children, especially in the first couple of years prior to formal education. Children learn vast majority of how to behave to prepare them for society from how their parents behave. Even after school hours, children get pick up by their parents to spend their evening together. Parents have the role to help their children to do their homework, even though the boundaries have to be significantly clear, so parents would not intervene too much on their beloved ones. This also would affects how a child perceives personal boundaries. Children tend to copy what their environment, for instance, they will get used to say thank you if their parents respond that way when they get help from their neighbor or they will not ask personal questions if their parent is not a rude person.

Children do not have the capability to acknowledge their well-being until the prefrontal cortex of their brain is fully developed. So, it is their surroundings, such as the parents, that have the burden and obligation to shaped what person a child could finally be. Nonetheless, people around the children themself, like friends, family, and neighbors, and their daily activities, like watching television and Youtube, may teach something extensively for a child. Children exposed to violence and under-age sex content come from unfortunate clumsiness of the liability of parents nowdays.

In conclusion, the contributing factors may influence children in various aspects of their lifes. Nevertheless, parents play a vital role and carry the burden for their future.

Children are influenced by their parents from the moment of birth. Mothers and fathers instill moral values, introduce their interests, and form strong emotional connections with their children. In my view, although parents often play the most influential role in their children's education, they do not always serve as the most effective teachers.

To begin with, parents nurture deep emotional ties with their children, which can sometimes limit independence. For instance, they might restrict certain activities out of concern for safety. A parent may perceive a teacher’s planned instructional excursion to a large city as risky. Additionally, parents often expect their children to share their interests and passions. For example, a parent enthusiastic about science might push their child toward the same field, even if the child has different aspirations. Such expectations can limit personal growth and exploration.

Moreover, while children should inherit their parents' values, societal evolution can create differences between generations. Today’s children grow up in a world significantly different from that of their parents. Older generations may struggle to keep pace with rapid advancements in technology and societal norms. A student exposed to diverse classmates may notice that their parents hold more traditional perspectives. Likewise, a child engrossed in digital platforms may find their parents unable to appreciate or understand the technological revolution. This generational gap can create challenges in communication and understanding.

In conclusion, I argue that although parents play a crucial role in shaping their children’s lives, they are not always the most effective educators. Fortunately, children learn from various sources, including teachers, peers, books, and media. Each of these influences provides invaluable lessons, contributing to a more well-rounded and knowledgeable individual.