This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses grocery shopping preferences, offering insights into both online and traditional methods. Key feedback highlights coherence issues and grammatical errors, which can impact clarity. Understanding and addressing these aspects can enhance your writing skills for IELTS success.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Leisure & Lifestyle · 40 min
Some people believe that online grocery shopping is more convenient and efficient than visiting physical stores. Others argue that traditional shopping offers better quality control and a more personal experience.
Do you agree or disagree?Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (350 words) and addresses the prompt directly, agreeing with traditional shopping. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven, with online shopping aspects underdeveloped. Coherence is adequate but paragraphing and transitions could be improved. Vocabulary is sufficient but with spelling errors, and grammatical inaccuracies affect clarity.
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With the rise in technnological innovation, many individuals argue that shopping online for groceries is more convenient and easy in comparison to going to the physical stores. On the contrary, some believe that the the traditional method used in buying such items gives better quality control and more experience. This essay will discuss this trend and explain why I strongly agree with latter assertion. In general, as much as online platforms have made life easier since orders and deliveries are done at the touch of the button, the idea of getting the experience of travelling and moving from one store to another provides the buyer a more personal experience. Primarily, the best way to enjoy shopping for groceries is physically going to the stores. This is because, the buyer has the chance to check the varieties of vegetables and fruits being sold. In addition, consumers also have a chance to choose fresh ones and leave those that do not seem to be fresh. It is here that the customer gets to bargain and talk to the seller with whom they eventually create a rapport. Through travelling, talking and buying, the buyer experinces a new world of people and things. Conversely, one benefit of online shopping is its efficiency and convenience. For this reason, the buyer does not need to travel in order to shop for groceries. This method of buying is the best for a person whose working schedule is tight as they have no time to shop. However, a common drawback to this method of shopping is that chances of getting totally different things from what you ordered is high. For instance, most pictures of items on sale may not give a real state since there are instances when consumers complain of receiving stale groceries yet what had been ordered was pictured as fresh. In conclusion, as much as online shopping is the current trend, it does not beat the traditional method of shopping due to the personal experinces of the shopper. I therefore reiterate that online shopping cannot surpass the past method of buying groceries in the market
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| technnological | technological |
| experinces | experiences |
Grammatical Mistakes
4 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the the | the | Repeated word: remove the extra 'the' |
| with latter assertion | with the latter assertion | Article missing: 'latter' requires the definite article 'the' |
| chances of getting totally different things from what you ordered is high | chances of getting completely different items from what one ordered are high | Subject-verb agreement: 'chances' is plural and requires 'are'; also, 'you' is informal and replaced with 'one' for academic tone |
| give a real state | provide an accurate representation | Incorrect phrase: 'real state' is not standard; use 'accurate representation' to convey the meaning |
Vocabulary Improvements
13 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| easy | effortless | Informal word; 'effortless' is more academic and precise |
| the touch of the button | a simple click | Idiomatic but slightly informal; 'a simple click' is clearer and more formal |
| physically going | shopping in person | Vague phrasing; 'shopping in person' is more direct and appropriate |
| check the varieties | examine the selection | 'Varieties' can be imprecise; 'selection' is a better collocation for goods available |
| fresh ones | fresh produce | Vague reference; 'fresh produce' is more specific and academic for fruits and vegetables |
| bargain | negotiate | Informal term; 'negotiate' is more formal and suitable for academic writing |
| a new world of people and things | a rich social experience | Vague and informal; 'a rich social experience' is more precise and academic |
| working schedule | work schedule | Incorrect collocation; 'work schedule' is the standard term |
| tight | hectic | Informal for busy; 'hectic' is more descriptive and formal |
| totally different | completely different | Informal intensifier; 'completely' is more appropriate in formal writing |
| stale | spoiled | 'Stale' is specific to dryness; 'spoiled' is broader and more suitable for groceries |
| beat | surpass | Informal verb; 'surpass' is more academic and precise |
| past method | traditional method | Imprecise; 'traditional method' is consistent with the essay's context |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
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Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay presents a clear position in agreement with traditional shopping and discusses both sides, but the argument for online shopping is briefly covered and lacks depth. Examples are given for traditional shopping, such as checking freshness and bargaining, which support the stance.
Examples
Examples include: 'the buyer has the chance to check the varieties of vegetables and fruits' and 'consumers complain of receiving stale groceries yet what had been ordered was pictured as fresh.'
How to Improve
To improve, develop both viewpoints more equally with specific, detailed examples. Expand on the benefits of online shopping before refuting them, and ensure a balanced analysis that leads to a stronger conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices like 'Primarily,' 'In addition,' and 'Conversely' are used, but paragraph transitions are abrupt, and some sentences are poorly connected.
Examples
The introduction states the essay will discuss the trend, but the first body paragraph jumps into traditional shopping without a smooth link. Also, 'the the traditional method' shows a typo that disrupts flow.
How to Improve
Use more effective linking words between paragraphs (e.g., 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand'). Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and logically progresses to the next idea. Proofread to avoid repetitive phrases.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with some appropriate terms like 'rapport' and 'stale groceries,' but there are spelling errors and repetition of words such as 'shopping.' The range is limited, and some expressions are awkward.
Examples
Misspellings: 'technnological' (should be 'technological'), 'experinces' (should be 'experiences'). Awkward phrasing: 'latter assertion' (better as 'the latter view').
How to Improve
Expand lexical range by using synonyms (e.g., 'purchase' instead of 'shopping'). Proofread carefully for spelling errors. Incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to e-commerce and retail experiences.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, affecting clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure. While some complex sentences are attempted, mistakes hinder communication.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'chances of getting... is high' should be 'are high.' Punctuation: 'This is because, the buyer...' has an unnecessary comma. Spelling: 'experinces' for 'experiences.'
How to Improve
Practice using complex sentences with correct conjunctions. Focus on subject-verb agreement and comma usage. Review grammatical rules and consider using grammar checking tools to identify common errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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