Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Relocating Businesses: Clarity and Coherence Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

To solve traffic jam and accommodation problem of the town large companies and their employees are removing from city to countryside. It is true that cities are becoming overpopulated due to employment opportunities. The problems are escalating at alarming rate, contributing to growing sense of despair among general public and negatively impact on environment. I strongly agree that relocating mills and factories from urban areas to village is an effective solution.
On the one hand, There are a plethora of reasons why individuals believe that removing the major companies and their staffs from city to village is extremely beneficial for city dwellers in terms of transportation and accommodation. This is primarily because people are moving from countryside to city for job opportunities, which is significantly responsible for excessive traffic congestion on the roads. Furthermore, overpopulation creates a substantial adverse impact on the housing, water, and public services. To cite an example, a group of researchers from the University of Cambridge recently published a report demonstrating that working opportunites in companies and industries resposible at around 60% for accomodation challenge and traffic problem in the town. This evidence clearly highlitgs that relocating companies from urban to villages is beneficial not only for reduce traffic problem but also increase the living standard in the city.
On the other hand, opponents contend that relocating mills and factories in the rural areas cause a profound negative effect on the environment of the village. A further notable detrimental impact of industrialization in the countriside is that it would be lead to deforestation, which has far-reaching consequenc on village ecosystems and biodiversity. Furthermore, when large businessess and their employees relocate in the village, it would be decline the economic growth of the town.
In conclusion, although these ideas have a considerable drawbacks, it is only possible solution to minimize the traffic jam and accommodation issues of towns.

    Traffic congestion and housing shortages are major challenges for many cities today. Some propose moving large businesses, industries, and their workers to rural areas as a solution. However, I believe this approach is neither feasible nor effective. A more sustainable alternative would be to improve urban infrastructure and transportation systems rather than displacing economic hubs.

    To begin with, relocating businesses and industries would require extensive resources, planning, and coordination. According to the World Bank, relocating a firm demands careful management and significant resources, often disrupting productivity, profitability, and overall competitiveness, affecting both firms and workers. Additionally, uprooting employees from established urban communities could negatively impact their well-being and quality of life, making relocation an undesirable option for many. Given the financial and logistical burdens, large-scale relocation is unlikely to gain support from businesses or governments.

    Moreover, this strategy fails to address the root causes of traffic congestion and housing shortages. These issues stem from rapid urbanization, population growth, and inadequate infrastructure in cities. Moving some firms and workers would not resolve these fundamental problems but instead shift them elsewhere. Instead of relocating businesses, cities should focus on expanding public transportation and enforcing zoning regulations to create more efficient living spaces. Additionally, relocating businesses to rural areas could introduce new challenges, such as environmental degradation, social disruption, and economic disparities.

    In conclusion, addressing traffic congestion and housing shortages requires comprehensive urban planning and investment in infrastructure rather than relocating businesses and workers to rural areas. Thus, I think that developing smart cities with sustainable solutions can improve urban conditions while minimizing negative impacts on rural areas. By focusing on sustainable development and effective governance, cities can create long-term solutions that enhance livability while fostering balanced growth between urban and rural regions.