This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses relocating businesses from urban to rural areas, highlighting clarity and organization issues. Although the writer presents valid arguments against relocation, the lack of depth and coherent structure limits the effectiveness of the response.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (273 words) and addresses the topic directly, presenting a clear disagreement with the statement. However, the argument lacks depth and detailed development. Organizational issues and frequent grammatical errors reduce clarity and coherence. With improved structure, extended ideas, and better language accuracy, a higher score could be achieved.
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Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers to rural areas from urban areas cannot be the solution to traffic congestion and housing in major cities. This has various demerits which include; unavailability of enough social amenities to cater for the new population relocating to rural areas,the shift is likely to incresase the production costs resulting from sourcing of the required raw materials,lack of readily available market for the produced goods,security concerns for both the workers and the businesses because some remote areas have volatile security. Inaccessibility resulting from poor road infrustructure may inhibit movement of goods and raw materials. Personal reasons might also contribute such as family attachments whereby some people prefer working and staying together with their whole families. Most urban areas are developed with better social amenities such as schools, hospitals,road network hence urban areas more preffered.
However various approaches can be taken to curb the congestion of people and traffic in urban areas; development and provision of basic services should be carried out in all the areas thereby improving the quality of life both in urban and rural areas, this will in turn reduce rural to urban migration. Specific industries can also be put up in the rural areas inline with the specific economic activities of the region such as industries that provide value addition to the available commodities such as in agriculture, this will create employment and also improve the incomes of both the farmers and the people who provide services to the set up factories. The urban areas on the other hand can be improved with modern infrustrucure to accomodate the growing population and proper urban planning.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
5 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| incresase | increase |
| infrustructure | infrastructure |
| preffered | preferred |
| infrustrucure | infrastructure |
| accomodate | accommodate |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| which include; | which include: | Incorrect use of semicolon; use colon to introduce a list. |
| goods,security | goods, security | Missing space after comma. |
| hospitals,road | hospitals, road | Missing space after comma. |
| hence urban areas more preffered. | hence urban areas are more preferred. | Sentence fragment; missing verb 'are'. |
| areas, this will in turn reduce | areas. This will, in turn, reduce | Comma splice; use period to separate sentences or add conjunction. |
| inline with | in line with | 'Inline' should be two words when meaning 'in accordance with'. |
| agriculture, this will create employment | agriculture. This will create employment | Comma splice; run-on sentence. |
| The urban areas on the other hand can be improved | The urban areas, on the other hand, can be improved | Non-essential phrase should be set off with commas. |
Vocabulary Improvements
8 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| cater for | cater to | 'Cater for' is less common; 'cater to' is more appropriate for providing services. |
| demerits | drawbacks | 'Demerits' is informal; use more formal terms like 'drawbacks'. |
| volatile security | unstable security conditions | 'Volatile security' is vague; specify for clarity. |
| family attachments | family ties | 'Attachments' is less precise; 'ties' is better for familial relationships. |
| put up | established | 'Put up' is informal; use 'established' for formal writing. |
| value addition | adding value | 'Value addition' is awkward; use 'adding value' for clarity. |
| curb the congestion | reduce congestion | 'Curb' is acceptable but 'reduce' is more precise for traffic issues. |
| basic services | essential services | 'Basic services' is fine, but 'essential services' is more impactful in academic writing. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The writer clearly states their position (disagreement) and provides relevant reasons against relocation, such as lack of amenities and increased costs. Alternative solutions are briefly mentioned. However, the analysis is superficial; points are listed without full elaboration or examples, limiting the extent of response.
Examples
Mentions 'unavailability of enough social amenities' and 'production costs' but does not explain how these specifically undermine the solution. Alternative approaches like 'development of basic services' are stated but not developed.
How to Improve
Extend each main point with specific examples or evidence. For instance, explain how rural infrastructure gaps increase costs. Consider acknowledging potential benefits of relocation before refuting them to show a balanced analysis, and fully develop alternative solutions.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and implied conclusion, but paragraphing is weak. Ideas are presented in a list-like manner without clear topic sentences or logical progression. Linking words are used minimally, and transitions between paragraphs are abrupt.
Examples
The first paragraph strings multiple disadvantages together without separation. The shift to solutions with 'However' is sudden. The second paragraph mixes solutions for rural and urban areas without clear organization.
How to Improve
Use separate paragraphs for each main idea: e.g., one for disadvantages of relocation, one for alternatives. Start paragraphs with topic sentences. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' 'In contrast') to improve flow. Ensure a logical progression from disagreement to recommendations.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is generally appropriate for the topic, with terms like 'social amenities,' 'volatile security,' and 'infrastructure.' However, spelling errors and occasional imprecise word choice reduce effectiveness. There is some variety, but it is not sophisticated.
Examples
Misspellings: 'incresase' (increase), 'infrustructure' (infrastructure), 'preffered' (preferred), 'accomodate' (accommodate). Awkward phrasing: 'family attachments' could be 'family ties' or 'personal commitments.'
How to Improve
Proofread carefully to correct spelling errors. Use a dictionary or spell-check tool. Expand vocabulary range by using more precise synonyms (e.g., 'remote areas' instead of 'rural areas' occasionally). Avoid repetition of phrases like 'social amenities.'
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
Grammar is inconsistent with frequent errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement. Some complex sentences are attempted but with mistakes, affecting clarity. Simple structures dominate.
Examples
Run-on sentence and punctuation error: 'This has various demerits which include; unavailability...' should be 'This has various demerits, including: unavailability...' or use a list. Subject-verb agreement: 'the shift is likely to incresase' should be 'increase.' Error in word form: 'infrustrucure' for 'infrastructure.'
How to Improve
Practice constructing complex sentences with correct punctuation (commas, semicolons). Review subject-verb agreement rules. Break long sentences into shorter, clearer ones. Use grammar exercises to improve accuracy, particularly in articles and prepositions.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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