This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses from urban to rural areas. While it presents relevant points, it struggles with cohesion and the clarity of ideas. Enhancing these aspects will strengthen your argument and overall effectiveness.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
ο»Ώο»Ώ
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (252 words) and addresses the prompt with a clear position, but ideas are underdeveloped and language errors affect clarity. The arguments lack explicit connection to traffic congestion and housing, and cohesion is weak.
Now write your own β and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Urban Planning essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar β plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
Traffic congestions and overpopulating in urban areas are major challenges for many big cities around the world. Some experts are giving solutions and one of the solutions is forcing big businesses and industries to move" title="Correction: forcing big businesses and industries to move">forcing big businesses and industries move in rural areas with their workers. From my perspective, i totally agree with this approach and believe this solution will impact positively to both socially and environmentally.
To begin with, society can have many benefits from relocating big businesses and industries to rural areas. One of the advantages is it is friendly to urban environment. Industries emit ton of gasses and pollutions that is threatening to both human body and plants such as trees and flowers. Therefore, this change will impact both human and plants in a good way while developing rural areas and extending area of the city.
On the other hand, relocating those workers would require high level of management and have negative impact on finance of the city. Most importantly it is effect of workers would cause major problems. According research, workers who work near their family have much more productivity and happiness than workers who do not. Even though those issues may sound big. it can prevented with right management and planning.
In conclusion, addressing traffic congestion and housing problem by relocating major businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas have many advantages. However, there are some issues financially. But with great management and planning, those issues can be prevented. So, advantages of this approach overweigh the negative ones.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| congestions | congestion |
| overpopulating | overpopulation |
| i | I |
| gasses | gases |
| pollutions | pollution |
| overweigh | outweigh |
Grammatical Mistakes
11 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Traffic congestions and overpopulating | Traffic congestion and overpopulation | Noun form error: 'congestion' is uncountable, and 'overpopulating' should be the noun 'overpopulation' to match 'challenges'. |
| forcing big businesses and industries move | forcing big businesses and industries to move | Missing infinitive 'to' after 'forcing'. |
| impact positively to both socially and environmentally | have a positive impact both socially and environmentally | Incorrect use of 'impact to'; 'impact' as a verb should not be followed by 'to'. Also, 'both socially and environmentally' should modify the impact. |
| Industries emit ton of gasses and pollutions that is threatening | Industries emit tons of gases and pollution that threaten | Quantity 'ton' should be plural 'tons'; 'gasses' is less common, 'gases' is standard; 'pollutions' should be uncountable 'pollution'; subject-verb agreement: 'gases and pollution' is plural, so 'threaten' not 'is threatening'. |
| this change will impact both human and plants | this change will impact both humans and plants | 'Human' should be plural 'humans' to match 'plants'. |
| it is effect of workers would cause major problems | the effect on workers would cause major problems | 'It is effect' is grammatically incorrect; should be 'the effect' with proper article and preposition. |
| According research | According to research | Missing preposition 'to'. |
| Even though those issues may sound big. it can prevented | Even though these issues may sound significant, they can be prevented | Run-on sentence; 'big' is informal; 'it' should be 'they' for plural 'issues'; 'can prevented' should be 'can be prevented' for passive voice. |
| addressing traffic congestion and housing problem by relocating... have many advantages | addressing traffic congestion and housing problems by relocating... has many advantages | 'Housing problem' should be plural or with article; subject-verb agreement: 'addressing' is singular, so 'has' not 'have'. |
| However, there are some issues financially. | However, there are some financial issues. | Adverb 'financially' is misplaced; should be an adjective 'financial' to modify 'issues'. |
| So, advantages of this approach overweigh the negative ones. | Therefore, the advantages of this approach outweigh the negative ones. | 'So' is informal for academic writing; 'overweigh' is incorrect, should be 'outweigh'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
14 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| giving solutions | proposing solutions | 'Giving' is informal; 'proposing' is more appropriate for expert recommendations. |
| forcing | relocating or encouraging to move | 'Forcing' has a negative connotation; a neutral term like 'relocating' is better for academic discourse. |
| totally agree | completely agree or strongly agree | 'Totally' is somewhat informal; 'completely' is more formal. |
| impact positively to | have a positive impact on | Incorrect collocation; 'impact' as a verb is often used without 'to', but 'have an impact on' is standard. |
| friendly to urban environment | beneficial for the urban environment | 'Friendly' is vague; 'beneficial' is more precise and academic. |
| ton of gasses | a large amount of gases or significant emissions | 'Ton' is informal and imprecise; 'a large amount' or 'significant' is better for academic writing. |
| in a good way | positively or beneficially | Vague and informal; 'positively' is more concise and formal. |
| extending area of the city | expanding the city's area or increasing urban sprawl | Vague; 'expanding the city's area' is clearer. |
| negative impact on finance | negative financial impact or adverse economic consequences | 'Finance' is vague; 'financial impact' is more specific. |
| much more productivity | higher productivity or increased productivity | 'Much more' is informal; 'higher' is more academic. |
| big | significant or major | Informal; 'significant' is more appropriate for formal writing. |
| right management | proper management or effective management | 'Right' is informal; 'proper' or 'effective' is better. |
| great management | effective management or sound management | 'Great' is informal; 'effective' is more precise. |
| overweigh | outweigh | Incorrect word; 'outweigh' is the correct term for comparing advantages and disadvantages. |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Urban Planning essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria β with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
6
Evaluation
The writer presents a clear agreement with the statement and provides some relevant points, such as environmental benefits and worker productivity. However, the development is limited; the link between relocation and solving traffic/housing issues is not fully explored or explained. The concession about financial issues is mentioned but not elaborated.
Examples
The essay states that relocation 'will impact positively to both socially and environmentally' but does not detail how this reduces traffic congestion or housing shortages. The mention of worker productivity is relevant but not tied back to the main issues.
How to Improve
Explicitly connect each argument to how it alleviates traffic congestion or housing problems. For example, explain that moving businesses reduces the number of commuters, easing traffic, and frees up urban space for housing. Provide specific examples or evidence to support claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, paragraphing is not always logical, and cohesive devices are used inconsistently. Ideas within paragraphs are somewhat disjointed, and transitions between points are weak.
Examples
The second body paragraph begins with 'On the other hand,' but it does not effectively contrast with the first paragraph. It discusses financial issues and worker productivity without clear linking. The conclusion repeats points without synthesizing them.
How to Improve
Use topic sentences to clearly introduce paragraph main ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one central point (e.g., benefits, drawbacks). Employ a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'as a result') to improve flow. Practice organizing ideas logically before writing.
Lexical Resource
6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at varied expression. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and collocation that reduce precision. The range is somewhat limited, with repetition of basic terms.
Examples
Incorrect words: 'overpopulating' (should be 'overpopulation'), 'pollutions' (non-standard; use 'pollution'), 'gasses' (should be 'gases'). Awkward phrasing: 'impact positively to' (should be 'have a positive impact on' or 'impact positively on').
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading academic texts on similar topics. Practice using correct word forms and collocations. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find more precise terms. Avoid informal language and check spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5.5
Evaluation
There is an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes hinder understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, article usage, verb tense, and sentence fragments.
Examples
Errors: 'i totally agree' (capitalization), 'industries emit ton of gasses' (missing article: 'a ton of gases'), 'pollutions that is threatening' (subject-verb agreement: 'pollution that is'), 'it can prevented' (missing auxiliary: 'can be prevented'), 'effect of workers' (preposition error: 'effect on workers').
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially articles, subject-verb agreement, and passive voice. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses (e.g., relative clauses, conditional sentences). Proofread essays to correct errors before submission.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
02
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, an increasing number of people in some countries have chosen to live alone rather than with family members or roommates. While this trend refle...
03
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Write at least 250 words.
The rise in people choosing to live alone is one of the most noticeable social shifts of the last few decades, and I think it is more positive than negative, th...
04
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.
Relocating major businesses and their workers from cities to rural areas could help with traffic and housing, but it is only a partial solution, not a complete ...
05
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and hou...
06
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Write at least 250 words.
Ther is no denying the fact that relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the iss...