Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Relocating Businesses: Cohesion and Clarity Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

📅 Published Apr 2026⏱️ 40 minutes recommended📝 252 words · Band 6
This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses from urban to rural areas. While it presents relevant points, it struggles with cohesion and the clarity of ideas. Enhancing these aspects will strengthen your argument and overall effectiveness.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min


Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write at least 250 words.





6Band

Overall Band Score

252 words · Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · AI Evaluated

6
Task Response
5.5
Grammar
6
Vocabulary
5.5
Coherence

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Overall Band Score
6
Task Response
6
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
5.5
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
6
Coherence & Cohesion
5.5

Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (252 words) and addresses the prompt with a clear position, but ideas are underdeveloped and language errors affect clarity. The arguments lack explicit connection to traffic congestion and housing, and cohesion is weak.

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Student Answer
Real submission • 252 words • Annotated
252 wordsBand 6WritingPart2
● Spelling● Grammar● Vocabulary

Traffic congestions and overpopulating in urban areas are major challenges for many big cities around the world. Some experts are giving solutions and one of the solutions is forcing big businesses and industries to move" title="Correction: forcing big businesses and industries to move">forcing big businesses and industries move in rural areas with their workers. From my perspective, i totally agree with this approach and believe this solution will impact positively to both socially and environmentally.
To begin with, society can have many benefits from relocating big businesses and industries to rural areas. One of the advantages is it is friendly to urban environment. Industries emit ton of gasses and pollutions that is threatening to both human body and plants such as trees and flowers. Therefore, this change will impact both human and plants in a good way while developing rural areas and extending area of the city.
On the other hand, relocating those workers would require high level of management and have negative impact on finance of the city. Most importantly it is effect of workers would cause major problems. According research, workers who work near their family have much more productivity and happiness than workers who do not. Even though those issues may sound big. it can prevented with right management and planning.
In conclusion, addressing traffic congestion and housing problem by relocating major businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas have many advantages. However, there are some issues financially. But with great management and planning, those issues can be prevented. So, advantages of this approach overweigh the negative ones.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

6 errors
Misspelled WordCorrected Word
congestionscongestion
overpopulatingoverpopulation
iI
gassesgases
pollutionspollution
overweighoutweigh

Grammatical Mistakes

11 errors
MistakeCorrectionExplanation
Traffic congestions and overpopulatingTraffic congestion and overpopulationNoun form error: 'congestion' is uncountable, and 'overpopulating' should be the noun 'overpopulation' to match 'challenges'.
forcing big businesses and industries moveforcing big businesses and industries to moveMissing infinitive 'to' after 'forcing'.
impact positively to both socially and environmentallyhave a positive impact both socially and environmentallyIncorrect use of 'impact to'; 'impact' as a verb should not be followed by 'to'. Also, 'both socially and environmentally' should modify the impact.
Industries emit ton of gasses and pollutions that is threateningIndustries emit tons of gases and pollution that threatenQuantity 'ton' should be plural 'tons'; 'gasses' is less common, 'gases' is standard; 'pollutions' should be uncountable 'pollution'; subject-verb agreement: 'gases and pollution' is plural, so 'threaten' not 'is threatening'.
this change will impact both human and plantsthis change will impact both humans and plants'Human' should be plural 'humans' to match 'plants'.
it is effect of workers would cause major problemsthe effect on workers would cause major problems'It is effect' is grammatically incorrect; should be 'the effect' with proper article and preposition.
According researchAccording to researchMissing preposition 'to'.
Even though those issues may sound big. it can preventedEven though these issues may sound significant, they can be preventedRun-on sentence; 'big' is informal; 'it' should be 'they' for plural 'issues'; 'can prevented' should be 'can be prevented' for passive voice.
addressing traffic congestion and housing problem by relocating... have many advantagesaddressing traffic congestion and housing problems by relocating... has many advantages'Housing problem' should be plural or with article; subject-verb agreement: 'addressing' is singular, so 'has' not 'have'.
However, there are some issues financially.However, there are some financial issues.Adverb 'financially' is misplaced; should be an adjective 'financial' to modify 'issues'.
So, advantages of this approach overweigh the negative ones.Therefore, the advantages of this approach outweigh the negative ones.'So' is informal for academic writing; 'overweigh' is incorrect, should be 'outweigh'.

Vocabulary Improvements

14 suggestions
Original Word/PhraseImproved Word/PhraseExplanation
giving solutionsproposing solutions'Giving' is informal; 'proposing' is more appropriate for expert recommendations.
forcingrelocating or encouraging to move'Forcing' has a negative connotation; a neutral term like 'relocating' is better for academic discourse.
totally agreecompletely agree or strongly agree'Totally' is somewhat informal; 'completely' is more formal.
impact positively tohave a positive impact onIncorrect collocation; 'impact' as a verb is often used without 'to', but 'have an impact on' is standard.
friendly to urban environmentbeneficial for the urban environment'Friendly' is vague; 'beneficial' is more precise and academic.
ton of gassesa large amount of gases or significant emissions'Ton' is informal and imprecise; 'a large amount' or 'significant' is better for academic writing.
in a good waypositively or beneficiallyVague and informal; 'positively' is more concise and formal.
extending area of the cityexpanding the city's area or increasing urban sprawlVague; 'expanding the city's area' is clearer.
negative impact on financenegative financial impact or adverse economic consequences'Finance' is vague; 'financial impact' is more specific.
much more productivityhigher productivity or increased productivity'Much more' is informal; 'higher' is more academic.
bigsignificant or majorInformal; 'significant' is more appropriate for formal writing.
right managementproper management or effective management'Right' is informal; 'proper' or 'effective' is better.
great managementeffective management or sound management'Great' is informal; 'effective' is more precise.
overweighoutweighIncorrect word; 'outweigh' is the correct term for comparing advantages and disadvantages.

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response6
Evaluation
The writer presents a clear agreement with the statement and provides some relevant points, such as environmental benefits and worker productivity. However, the development is limited; the link between relocation and solving traffic/housing issues is not fully explored or explained. The concession about financial issues is mentioned but not elaborated.
Examples
The essay states that relocation 'will impact positively to both socially and environmentally' but does not detail how this reduces traffic congestion or housing shortages. The mention of worker productivity is relevant but not tied back to the main issues.
How to Improve
Explicitly connect each argument to how it alleviates traffic congestion or housing problems. For example, explain that moving businesses reduces the number of commuters, easing traffic, and frees up urban space for housing. Provide specific examples or evidence to support claims.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, paragraphing is not always logical, and cohesive devices are used inconsistently. Ideas within paragraphs are somewhat disjointed, and transitions between points are weak.
Examples
The second body paragraph begins with 'On the other hand,' but it does not effectively contrast with the first paragraph. It discusses financial issues and worker productivity without clear linking. The conclusion repeats points without synthesizing them.
How to Improve
Use topic sentences to clearly introduce paragraph main ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one central point (e.g., benefits, drawbacks). Employ a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'as a result') to improve flow. Practice organizing ideas logically before writing.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at varied expression. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and collocation that reduce precision. The range is somewhat limited, with repetition of basic terms.
Examples
Incorrect words: 'overpopulating' (should be 'overpopulation'), 'pollutions' (non-standard; use 'pollution'), 'gasses' (should be 'gases'). Awkward phrasing: 'impact positively to' (should be 'have a positive impact on' or 'impact positively on').
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading academic texts on similar topics. Practice using correct word forms and collocations. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find more precise terms. Avoid informal language and check spelling.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
There is an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes hinder understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, article usage, verb tense, and sentence fragments.
Examples
Errors: 'i totally agree' (capitalization), 'industries emit ton of gasses' (missing article: 'a ton of gases'), 'pollutions that is threatening' (subject-verb agreement: 'pollution that is'), 'it can prevented' (missing auxiliary: 'can be prevented'), 'effect of workers' (preposition error: 'effect on workers').
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially articles, subject-verb agreement, and passive voice. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses (e.g., relative clauses, conditional sentences). Proofread essays to correct errors before submission.
💡
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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