This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses relocating industries to address urban challenges. While it raises relevant points, clarity issues and frequent grammatical errors hinder its effectiveness. Reviewing the AI feedback can guide you to improve your writing skills.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count (254 words) and addresses the prompt with a clear position, arguing that relocation is not a complete solution. However, development of ideas is limited, and frequent errors in spelling, grammar, and cohesion affect clarity. Overall, it demonstrates a competent response but with noticeable inaccuracies.
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Relocation large compaines and idustries from major cities to rural areas has been suggested as a soultion to urban problmes such as horrendous traffic and housing shortages. while it ia a commonly held belief this strategy may bring certain benifits , I belive is not a complete solution to these complex issue .
On one hand , moving businesses to rural areas could significantly reduce populaion isuue in cities . fewer employees moving daily would result in less traffic problem and lower levels of pollution . in addition , housing demand in urban will decrease .for example , if larger factories or office were establised outside cities , many worker would choose to live near there workplace . furthermore , this shift could promote economic development in rural regions by creating new job opportunities .
On other hand , relocation idustries may create new chalenges . rural areas ofen lack infrastrucure , including hospitals and educational places .
developing these facilities would require goverment investment .Moreover , ont all employees would be moving awa from cities .As a result , businesses might sruggle to attract skillrd workers , reducing productivity .
In my opinion , although transffering some industries to rural areas could help urban congeston , it shoud not be condider the only soultion . goverments also ivest in improving public transportaion .
In conclosion , relocation businesses may partially reduce traffic and housing problems , but a balanced and comprehnensive approach is necessary . ,,,,,,,, , ,l ,l , , , ,
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
27 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| compaines | companies |
| idustries | industries |
| soultion | solution |
| problmes | problems |
| ia | is |
| benifits | benefits |
| belive | believe |
| populaion | population |
| isuue | issue |
| establised | established |
| chalenges | challenges |
| ofen | often |
| infrastrucure | infrastructure |
| goverment | government |
| ont | not |
| awa | away |
| sruggle | struggle |
| skillrd | skilled |
| transffering | transferring |
| congeston | congestion |
| shoud | should |
| condider | considered |
| goverments | governments |
| ivest | invest |
| transportaion | transportation |
| conclosion | conclusion |
| comprehnensive | comprehensive |
Grammatical Mistakes
16 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Relocation large compaines and idustries from major cities to rural areas has been suggested | Relocating large companies and industries from major cities to rural areas has been suggested | Use gerund 'Relocating' as subject for proper sentence structure |
| while it ia a commonly held belief this strategy may bring certain benifits , I belive is not a complete solution | While it is a commonly held belief that this strategy may bring certain benefits, I believe it is not a complete solution | Capitalization, verb correction, and add conjunction 'that' for clarity |
| to these complex issue | to these complex issues | Plural form required to agree with 'these' |
| reduce populaion isuue in cities | reduce population issues in cities | Spelling and plural form needed |
| less traffic problem | fewer traffic problems | Use 'fewer' for countable nouns and plural form |
| housing demand in urban will decrease | housing demand in urban areas will decrease | 'Urban' is an adjective; add 'areas' for noun phrase |
| if larger factories or office were establised outside cities , many worker would choose to live near there workplace | if larger factories or offices were established outside cities, many workers would choose to live near their workplace | Plural forms and correct possessive pronoun 'their' |
| On other hand | On the other hand | Missing definite article 'the' |
| relocation idustries may create new chalenges | relocating industries may create new challenges | Use gerund 'relocating' for parallel structure |
| rural areas ofen lack infrastrucure , including hospitals and educational places | rural areas often lack infrastructure, including hospitals and educational institutions | Spelling and more precise term 'educational institutions' |
| developing these facilities would require goverment investment | developing these facilities would require government investment | Spelling correction |
| Moreover , ont all employees would be moving awa from cities | Moreover, not all employees would be moving away from cities | Spelling and word order correction |
| businesses might sruggle to attract skillrd workers | businesses might struggle to attract skilled workers | Spelling correction |
| it shoud not be condider the only soultion | it should not be considered the only solution | Spelling and passive voice construction with 'be considered' |
| governments also ivest in improving public transportaion | governments should also invest in improving public transportation | Missing modal verb 'should' to express recommendation |
| In conclosion , relocation businesses may partially reduce traffic and housing problems | In conclusion, relocating businesses may partially reduce traffic and housing problems | Spelling and use gerund 'relocating' for clarity |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| horrendous traffic | severe traffic congestion | 'Horrendous' is informal; 'severe' is more academic |
| populaion isuue | overpopulation problems | Vague term; 'overpopulation problems' is more precise in urban context |
| traffic problem | traffic congestion | More specific term for academic writing |
| educational places | educational facilities | Vague; 'educational facilities' is standard for schools, universities, etc. |
| public transportaion | public transportation | Standard term and spelling for academic writing |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, presenting a balanced view and a clear opinion. Main ideas are relevant but could be more fully developed with specific examples and deeper analysis.
Examples
The example of factories moving outside cities is mentioned but not elaborated. The point about rural economic development is introduced but not expanded.
How to Improve
Extend supporting ideas with detailed examples, statistics, or case studies. Explain how relocation directly impacts traffic and housing, and explore alternative solutions more thoroughly.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Logical progression is evident, but cohesion is weakened by punctuation errors, incorrect linking words, and some awkward transitions.
Examples
Missing 'the' in 'On other hand'; random punctuation in the conclusion (',,,,,,,, , ,l ,l , , , ,'); abrupt shifts between sentences, e.g., 'Moreover , ont all employees would be moving awa from cities .As a result , businesses might sruggle...'
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices accurately (e.g., 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore'). Proofread to correct punctuation and ensure smooth connections between ideas. Practice paragraphing and topic sentences to enhance flow.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Adequate range of vocabulary is attempted, but frequent spelling and word formation errors reduce precision and cause some difficulty for the reader.
Examples
Misspellings: 'soultion' (solution), 'benifits' (benefits), 'populaion' (population), 'infrastrucure' (infrastructure), 'comprehnensive' (comprehensive). Inappropriate word choices: 'horrendous traffic' is acceptable but 'idustries' for industries.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading academic texts and practicing word forms. Use a dictionary or spell-check tools. Focus on accurate spelling and correct word choices to convey meaning more effectively.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used, but grammatical errors are frequent, including subject-verb agreement, missing articles, incorrect plurals, and tense issues, which occasionally hinder communication.
Examples
I belive is not' should be 'I believe it is not'; 'fewer employees... would result in less traffic problem' should be 'fewer traffic problems'; 'many worker' should be 'many workers'; 'there workplace' should be 'their workplace'.
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, especially articles, plurals, and sentence structure. Practice writing complex sentences with correct conjunctions. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submission.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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