Achieving a Band 6 in the IELTS can be challenging, especially when addressing topics like relocating industries. This essay presents arguments on the benefits of moving businesses to rural areas but faces issues with coherence and vocabulary variety that hinder its effectiveness. Discover feedback aimed at improving your writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay addresses the task effectively and meets the minimum word count. While it presents relevant arguments and examples, there are issues with coherence, vocabulary usage, and grammatical accuracy that limit the overall score.
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The movement of businesses and industries from urban to rural areas along with the workers is a best solution of traffic congestion and housing in main cities. I agree to this opinion of relocation. Three arguments along with the examples are explained below with conclusion.
Firstly, the cities are the main hub for many businesses, and provides job opportunities to people living in cities. But, the industries located in congested areas causes many types of pollution like, noise pollution, water pollution, and air pollution. For example, the exhaust contains" title="Correction: industrial exhaust contains">industries exhaust contains harmfull gases which pollute the air we breath in and leads to lung disease. Also the atmospheric temperature increases which in turn causes global warming and flood risks.
Secondly, the movement to rural areas will produce job opportunities for people living in rural areas and it will not harm the living organisms as it affects in urban areas. In rural areas people live and far distances and large area reduces the effects of exhaust from the industries. For example, in rural areas industries have large land to discard the waste produced during the manufacturing of goods. Hence, the waste are treated properly and dumped in a safe way.
Finally, shifting of industries and businesses from urban areas also reduces the issues of traffic congestion and housing. As heavy traffic is used for the transport of goods. The traffic blocks during the transport of goods from one city to onther cities. For example, blockage of traffic leads to higher ratio of road accidents and causes delay in emergency situation.
In conclusion, the transfer of industries and businesses to rural areas is the best solution for traffic congestion. It will help in the development of a healthy environment in cities as well as in rural areas.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
3 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| harmfull | harmful |
| breath | breathe |
| onther | other |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| a best solution | the best solution | Article misuse: 'best' is a superlative and requires 'the' |
| agree to this opinion | agree with this opinion | 'Agree' collocates with 'with' when expressing agreement with an opinion |
| provides job opportunities | provide job opportunities | Subject-verb agreement: 'cities' is plural and requires 'provide' |
| industries exhaust contains | industrial exhaust contains | Noun form: 'industrial' is the correct adjective form for 'exhaust' |
| and it will not harm | and they will not harm | Pronoun agreement: 'industries' is plural and requires 'they' |
| the waste are treated | the waste is treated | Subject-verb agreement: 'waste' is an uncountable noun and requires 'is' |
| As heavy traffic is used | As heavy traffic results | Incorrect phrase: 'traffic' cannot be 'used'; it results or causes |
| emergency situation | emergency situations | Noun form: 'situations' should be plural to match with 'delay in' |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| main hub | principal hub | 'Principal' is more formal and precise for academic writing |
| exhaust | emissions | 'Emissions' is a more precise term for pollutants over 'exhaust' |
| produce job opportunities | create employment opportunities | More formal and contextually accurate phrase |
| shifting of industries | relocation of industries | 'Relocation' is more precise and formal than 'shifting' |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay answers the question with a clear position and provides supporting arguments.
Examples
Examples include pollution from industries and job opportunities in rural areas.
How to Improve
To improve, provide more detailed analysis and explore alternative perspectives to strengthen the response.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized but lacks smooth transitions between ideas.
Examples
Transitions like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Finally' are used, but coherence between paragraphs is weak.
How to Improve
Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and ensure ideas flow naturally from one to the next.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety.
Examples
Simple words like 'solution', 'opportunities', and 'pollution' are repeated.
How to Improve
Improve by incorporating a broader range of vocabulary and utilizing more precise language.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates limited grammatical range and contains several errors.
Examples
Errors include 'harmfull gases', 'the air we breath', and incorrect verb forms.
How to Improve
Work on reducing grammatical errors and using a wider variety of sentence structures accurately.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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